Hello....Saddam?

[Mtn Man]

Enjoy, it's pretty funny :grin:

11 am EST

Br-r-ring. Br-r-ring.

GW: Saddam?

SH: Who wants to know?

GW: It’s George.

SH: Yeah, I been expecting your call since I caught your show last night.

GW: This isn’t about oil.

SH: I know that, Mr Hydrogen Car. This’s about you and me.

GW: Damn straight. I’m gonna put your ass in a box.

SH: Uh huh. So what if the UN doesn’t go along with it?

GW: Ask me do I care what those irrelevant parliamentary poofs have to say.

SH: Word, that makes two of us. I don’t give a rat’s ass what the UN says either.

GW: Yeah, but you played that all wrong, Homes.

SH: Whatever. So what’s your plan?

GW: Put your ass in a box. How about you?

SH: My plan? Kill all your soldiers and a few million of my own people.

GW: Why your own people?

SH: Teach them a lesson.

GW: Things may not go your way. Then what?

SH: Lob a little of that anthrax I’m not making at Syria and Iran, give Israel or Turkey a taste of botulinum toxin. Then out the door with a fake passport, some nice luggage, and a fat Swiss bank account. I could pass as retired Greek shipping tycoon. Shave the moustache, have a little work done by Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeons. Get me a beach house and a couple hundred servant girls, satellite hookup, Cartoon Channel, watch me some Power Puff Girls.

GW: Not if you’re dead and in a box you won’t.

SH: Yo, Bush Junior, my lookalike’s been tied up in a dungeon for six months, shot full of morph, wouldn’t know his own mother if I hung her up next to him. He’ll die bravely on the field of battle, no problem.

GW: Not bad.

SH: Thanks. So how’s your morning looking?

GW: Well, I’ve figured out a way to make sure rich people never have to pay taxes again. You?

SH: Removing the fingernails and eyelids from a six year old child while his mother watches.

GW: Ouch. You are one bad hombre.

SH: Word. You been sounding a little like Clint Eastwood yourself.

GW: I dig Clint.

SH: Who doesn’t? I particularly enjoyed the moral ambiguities of Unforgiven. And the way that girl got cut. I’ve got a loop of that scene, we pull it out and watch it when I’m having one of my smokers with the boys.

GW: You can kiss your boys goodbye. We’re going to liberate Iraq. Turn your palaces into malls.

SH: You can try.

GW: Gonna get you.

SH: You say so.

GW: Gonna put your ass in a box.

SH: Or somebody’s. Gotta run.

GW: Me too.

SH: Later.

GW: Later.

Click. Click. :::

[blackdog]

Mtn Man - nice story. Here's another attempt at humor. Some will enjoy, some won't. That's the way it works.

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"Debate" Over The War On Terrorism:


Question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.


What do you do?


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Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.


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Conservative Answer:
BANG!


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Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)


Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!"

[Big Willie]

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

[TheTexan]

That's why I am proud to be a native Texan!

[Boedy]

[img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

[fishin_lisa]

Well you've made a good case for yourselves--that you prefer to think in hypothesis instead of factual and to act before thinking. Shouldn’t we behave in a more logical and informed manner? Do you teach your children to act in such an irresponsible way?

[Silver Hilton]

Shoot, I'm game, but let's make it realistic.

The bully has a knife. However, he had a knife last week, too, when you kicked his butt and barely scraped your knuckles. You know him well. For the past five days he's been coming around the corner, you growl, and he backs off. Behind him is a pack of school children, and your .40 is loaded with bullets that usually penetrate.

Go ahead, take him out. After all, you're an excellent shot, and its a manly thing to do. Your wife and children will be pleased. They won't mind if a couple of the school kids buy it in the process.

[crabbait]

No fair, SH, you're gonna make peoples head hurt!

Add to the mix that it is his neighborhood, all his friends and family are watching and he has a lot of family....and some of them are just as arrogant and a lot more sneaky!

[TheTexan]

SH,

Hopefully they are young school children, maybe K - third grade. I would go for the head shot and all the kids would be below the line of fire! :grin:

[Lured In]

Blackdog...too funny! [img]graemlins/applause.gif[/img]

[GutZ]

"A society that does not recognize that each individual has values of his own which he is entitled to follow can have no respect for the dignity of the individual and cannot really know freedom." F. A. von Hayek.

I wonder if Saddam ever read that?

Free the Iraqi people from this thug. Remove the threat from planet Earth.

[Silver Hilton]

Hey, Gutz, nice to see you down here. You probably missed the parts elsewhere, where I have stated several times that I'm all for taking Hussein out. But the stuff about how we're doing it to protect freedom, the american way and the Iraqi people is just propagandistic BS, designed to get us to support what is a pretty naked imperialistic move. I happen to think this move is in the economic interest of the US and Europe, but it's stretching things to call it morally based.

Check the thread "We've gotta support them" below. Towards the end you can see the data that leads me to believe this.