Joke

[Boedy]

7 Degrees of Blond

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The
wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast
is
clear."

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says,
"Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let
me see!
" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in
the
mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys
a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door
she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"


FOURTH DEGREE


A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde
replies,
"Oh, that's easy: W."


FIFTH DEGREE


What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"


SIXTH DEGREE


Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe
vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally
said, "That was
the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware."
>


SEVENTH DEGREE


Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked
and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
unit,
patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,
then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help,
and what
do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

[CATCH AND EAT]

someone got a new joke book for the throne room. :grin:

[RvW]

Q:Why dont blondes eat M&M's?

A:Because they are too hard to peel.


A blonde gal is so infuriated by blonde jokes that she drives to the salon and has her hair dyed black.
On her way home, she drives up to a flock of sheep crossing the road and immediately gets out to adore the furry little creatures.
A shepherd approaches her and the gal says "wow, you have a lot of sheeps here"
The shepherd says "I sure do, and I tell you what, since we'll be here waiting for a while, if you can guess how many are here, I will give you any one you want to take home with you.
The gal looks over the flock and blurts out "1492?"
The shepherd is amazed and shocked that she was correct and says "wow!, thats right! so as I promised, chose any one you like and take it home with you."
The gal looks over the flock for the most playful energetic one, picks it up and loads it into her car.
The shepherd with a puzzled look on his face says "ok, my turn...if I can guess the true color of your hair...can I please have my dog back?"

[ 01-21-2003, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: cirrhosis-of-the-river ]

[CATCH AND EAT]

Thanks for the laughs guys. Funny stuff.

[Kilgore]

Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes and sandals?

[doryboy22]

Toes Go In First

[Kilgore]

doryboy22, you tell a hell of a joke :grin:

[Miss B Haven]

She Was Soooooooooo Blonde...

..she thought a quarterback was a refund.
..she thought General Motors was in the army.
..she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
..at the bottom of an application where it says
"Sign here:" she wrote.."Sagittarius.".

She Was Soooooooooo Blonde...

..she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
..she sent a fax with a stamp on it.
..she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
..under "education" on her job application, she put
"Hooked On Phonics."

She Was Soooooooooo Blonde...

..she tripped over a cordless phone.
..she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can
because it said "Concentrate."
..she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK"
and "DONT WALK."
..she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
..she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She Was Soooooooooo Blonde...

..she studied for a blood test.
..she sold her car for gas money.
..when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said,
"Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She Was Soooooooooo Blonde...

..when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around
the house, she moved.
..she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
..she thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
..she thought that she could only use her AM radio in the evening.
..she had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for
"This Goes In Front."

[ultralight]

I thought I had read all the blonde jokes, but I see I have a ways to go!

[RvW]

Ultralight, you'll have only found the rated G ones here...youve a long way to go is right.

I'm glad to see Missbhaven post, I would hate to be viewed as disrespectful to women, even blonde ones...it wouldnt pair well with my hatred for rich SUV drivers.

[ 01-21-2003, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: cirrhosis-of-the-river ]

[ultralight]

COTR,

I think my problem is that I've read all the other ones, but these G rated ones are not too bad, either. :grin:

[Stz ll]

[nerta]

A blonde calls the fire department and says my house is on fire! The fireman ask's how do we get there? The blonde answers well duh BIG RED TRUCK!

[Tilla]

A Blond and Brunette are walking down the street when the Brunette looks down and says,"Look, a poor dead bird!" The Blonde looks up and says "Where?".