Snow
>
> This story is dedicated to all those who live in snow or have ever
lived
>in
>snow!
>
> December 8th - 6:00 p.m.
>It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I
took
>our
>cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft
flakes
>drift
>down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print.
>So romantic. We felt like newlyweds again. I LOVE SNOW!!!
>
> December 9th:
>We woke up to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every
inch
>of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier
place in
>the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
>Shoveling for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did
both
>our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow-plough came
along
>and
>covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to
shovel
>again. What a perfect life!
>
> December 12th:
>The sun melted all of our lovely snow. Such a disappointment, my
neighbor
>tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No
snow on
>Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by
>the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't
think
>that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
>
> December 14th:
>Snow, lovely snow! 8" fell last night. The temperature dropped to-20
>degrees.
>The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away,
but I
>warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
>the life! The snow plow came back this afternoon and buried
everything
>again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling
but
>I'll
>certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff
so.
>
> December 15th:
>20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4X4 blazer. Bought snow
tires
>for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife
wants
>a
>wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We
>aren't
>in Alaska after all.
>
> December 16th:
>Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the driveway putting down
salt.
>Hurt like hell! The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was
cruel.
>
> December 17th:
>Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was
>off for 5 hours! I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing
to do
>but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should have
>bought
>the wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's
right!
>I
>can't believe I'm freezing to death in my living room.
>
> December 20th:
>Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last
night.
>More shoveling! took all day. Damn snow plow came by twice. Tried to
find
>neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I
>think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see
about
>buying a snow blower. Might have another shipment in March. I think
they're
>lying. Bob (our neighbor) says I have to shovel or the city will have
it
>done
>and bill me. I think he's lying.
>
> December 22nd:
>Bob was right about the white Christmas because 13 more inches of the
white
>**** fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt until August.
>Took
>me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had
to
>****. By the time I got undressed, ****** and dressed again, I was too
>tired
>to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on
>his truck, for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I
think
>the
>a**hole is lying.
>
> December 23rd:
>Only 2" of snow today! And it warmed up to 0 degrees! The wife wanted
me to
>decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts!! Why
>didn't
>she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think
she's
>damn
>well lying.
>
> December 24th:
>Snow packed so hard by snow plough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was
>having
>a heart attack. If I every catch the son-of-a-***** who drives that
snow
>plough, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides
around
>the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down
the
>street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just
>been!
>Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
our
>presents but I was busy watching the damn snow plow.
>
> December 25th:
>MERRY CHRISTMAS! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The
idea
>of
>shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! The snow plough
driver
>came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my
shovel.
>The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an
>idiot. If I have to watch "Its a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm
going
>to
>kill her!
>
> December 26th:
>Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER
idea!
>She's really getting on my nerves!
>
> December 27th:
>Temperature dropped to-30 degrees and the pipes froze.
>
> December 28th:
>Ten more inches! Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave
in.
>That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. How dumb does he think I
am?
>
> December 30th:
>Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars
for
>the
>bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" more snow
predicted.
>
> December 31st:
>Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
>
> January 8th:
>I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving
me.
>Why
>am I tied to the bed?
>
> THE END
__________________
|
Corkie Monster
Last year at this time it was snowing day and night for all of December. I remember getting up at 4:30 in the morning to shovel the 15 inches of snow off of the deck so I can load the wood box and to clear the drive (at least I have a snow blower) so we can get to work. By the time I get home from work there is another 12 inches of snow! :shocked: So I spend another 1.5 hours clearing snow when I got home. Guess what I woke up to the next morning? Yep another 12+ inches of snow. [img]graemlins/1zhelp.gif[/img] This went on for several weeks. [img]graemlins/berry.gif[/img] I was beginning to think I would not make it through the winter at the current pace of snow fall. Luckily for me it abated. The honeymoon was over and I was no longer looking forward to the next snow. As much as we need the snow, I have not been disappointed the snow season has yet to begin this year.
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