Church of the bent rod?

Pilar · 11-19-2003, 10:27 AM

You can become an ordained minister for just a few bucks on the internet. Would any of you join such a church?

I've been saying 'Church of the bent rod, <day of the week> morning service' for a while now, why not make it official?

Tax exempt status? Go into fisheries council meetings with an attitude about restriction of religious freedom, regular church attendance ... etc, etc.

Dang, what was in that latte this morning?

:grin:

Hey, Big Jon could be the Pope!!!

Miss B Haven · 11-19-2003, 12:37 PM

Ok- you darn dogs. This is all well and good but one thing about being tax exempt. You have to have something TO EXEMPT! :whazzup:

As in INCOME. I'm trying to remember the last time I made money fishing. OK- done now, that was easy! :grin:

Might work for ATC, FA, Corrirod and KUJO. Maybe soon to be Charters Captains too!

SlabQuest · 11-19-2003, 04:02 PM

seen in the classifieds....

Ordained minister (church of TBR) offers wedding or burial at sea service at resonable cost. Ask about combining religious service with one of our fun fishing packages for extra value.

Onokai · 11-19-2003, 06:51 PM

As I do not have a religious bone in my body I think the burial at sea /TUNA fishing trip would be a real money maker.Brings up a whole new meaning to chum.Do ashes attract more fish??. I have personally scattered four of my family at sea and never thought about fishing then, but it's sounding pretty good. The blood thing could be a problem for the passengers. Mark

ONOKAI

WP · 11-19-2003, 07:38 PM

I will happily support the Rev. John in his mission to "save" the lost souls of the non fishermen and women. I hereby sign up as the first unofficial elder of the church of the bent rod! I am, after all, old so am qualified as an elder

Dave

skein · 11-19-2003, 08:11 PM

Are we not supposed to be "fishers" of men? Did God not move across the face of the deep? Did Jesus not walk upon the water - visiting himself upon those same fishermen?

There are precedents here. And a calling.

Ed, do you need any help with that collection plate? :grin:

Arrrrhhhh!!! Arrrrhhhh!!! (Sort of an amen thing)

Skein

Marty · 11-19-2003, 08:12 PM

My fishing buddy in San Diego has said for years that when he leaves this world just cut him up for chunk bait and keep the bite going.

Marty

edsr · 11-19-2003, 11:04 PM

Welcome all ye sinners - Now Brother edsr will pass among you with the collection plate -- Be Generous!!!
edsr

kamloops · 11-19-2003, 11:24 PM

Can you still keep a Tax Exempt status if the
Place Of Worship floats and moves from time to time?

id. painter · 11-20-2003, 07:56 AM

Church Of The Bent Rod , im a long standing member . I just live in Idaho and the cogragation is small. But ,,,we are true believers. id. painter

edsr · 11-20-2003, 09:42 AM

We need more creative thinking like this. I vote that we hurt John's other foot so he has time for additional good thoughts - nah, we need him healthy and back on the water.

The idea of spreading ashes and fishing at the same time is really appealing as long as the eulogies don't get too long and the somber mood doesn't spoil the bite.

Brother Skein, assistance is always welcome when carrying heavy loads.

edsr

Pitch Pocket · 11-20-2003, 10:33 AM

I know someone who started a church. They have attracted millions of dollars in donations from people with difficult tax issues. There are certain tax situations where their donations are not attractive to normal charities due to things like high maintenance of assets (debt collections, people management, etc). These legal charities then accept these donations and work harder for their money than a charity that is already well heeled. The trick is finding the millionaire with a difficult tax problem.

Lucky Luke · 11-20-2003, 10:34 AM

I don't know, Ed. We need someone to write our bible and I think john is the perfect candidate. I've got dibs on the first printing. Where is the Church of the Bent Rod going to hold its meetings?

Pilar · 11-20-2003, 10:51 AM

What would we call such a book? Bible is taken and so is Koran, book of the dead, Kama Sutra and so on.

'Tuna Fishers Companion'?

Hey Ed, I saw that movie, 'Misery'. "I'm your #1 fan". Kathy Bates with a sledge hammer, urrgghheennnuuuuubblleee. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it.

I've been kicking around the book idea. Trouble is that non-fishers wouldn't want to read the damn thing if it was about fishing.

Services should be held at sea with fully loaded TUNA! boats the obvious place for such ceremonies. We could be like Druids that only hold their services at Stonehenge and only at certain days of the year.

Pitch Pocket, I like the way you think. What would a prospectus tell the investor he was investing in? Boats and fishermen seems an unlikely to be profitable risk.

Beer Waggin · 11-20-2003, 12:35 PM

Some people go to church and think about fishing, others go fishing and think about god. I'd be an "other"! :grin:

skein · 11-20-2003, 12:52 PM

Being as my boat is named Irish Wake it seems as if I have the perfect setup. We could do the spread-the-ashes thing using the "wake" format, with lots of celebration, camaraderie, and laughter. Problem is that doesn't work well with the millionaire deal. I never knew an Irishman who had a damn thing.

Skein

Pilar · 11-20-2003, 02:01 PM

Thanks, Skein .... laughing now.

CATCH AND EAT · 11-20-2003, 02:17 PM

The Ten Tuna-mandments?

sorry :blush:

Miss B Haven · 11-20-2003, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by skein:
I never knew an Irishman who had a damn thing.
Skein

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helv">Hey- The Kennedys are (were) Irish. Hmmm... look where that got most of 'em!

If you guys get this Church thing going, all those Millions in donations could fund the 12 step program and the TA meetings right?
:grin:

CATCH AND EAT · 11-20-2003, 03:13 PM

Anyone gonna change their names to sushi-binlaudin or tuna-al turkey. We already have Miss bin Haven. :shocked: :grin:

Pitch Pocket · 11-20-2003, 11:32 PM

They aren't investing in anything. They are trying to give money or assets away to avoid giving it to the IRS. It reduces their taxable income/gains and lowers their tax bill. If you make a couple of million dollars in a year (huge hit in the market, captial gains from property or business sale, etc.), you'd be surprised how much the IRS can grab.

You have to sell the program to accountants. In this particular case, a relative is an accountant. It's quite a deal. They have a really nice house in Cabo and a huge ranch stateside.

Seems like a scam to me, but they really do provide a service for the bucks up guy with a tax problem. Praise the lord!!!

[ 11-20-2003, 12:36 PM: Message edited by: Pitch Pocket ]

edsr · 11-21-2003, 10:39 AM

Hey John - I did see the "Misery" thing, know what you mean. Ask me some time about how you "brick" a camel.

A place of worship should be chosen to reflect the deep religiousity of our members. I would suggest the deck of any suitably sized craft would serve well, much as in time of war, services are held on deck. A quoram or minion to be two or more devotees so that very large areas are not necessary. The deck of the "Julie Rose -III, or "Pilar" as examples, although different in size would both be fine meeting places. I should think with a name so auspicious the "Irish Wake" is also a natural.
Hmm - let's see Luke in a red Hmm-Ahh Umm red-Umm -and heels - hah!

edsr

elkn · 11-23-2003, 04:04 PM

am i going to see you guys on those sunday am tv shows trying raise $ for boat gas and bait?

OK I"M IN, HOW MUCH $ DO YOU NEED? JUST TAKE ME WITH YOU, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thumper · 11-23-2003, 04:37 PM

As an unworthy "Salty Dogs" visitor, I am intrigued with this idea.

Imagine this .... You meet the bereaved family representative at the dock. Gently and with solemnity take the urn of ashes and the check for $350. Head on out to the tuna grounds, chuck the ashes, fish, come home, and sell the urn at the garage sale on Saturday next.

Yes, it could work.

Slinking now back to LIG........

skein · 11-23-2003, 05:06 PM

But we must be eternally (pun intended) vigilent.

Quote:

thumper said:
Head on out to the tuna grounds, chuck the ashes, fish, come home...

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helv">
Some guy slips you the ashes of the last chinook he tried to smoke, tells you it's his dear departed mother-in-law, and asks, as a favor to the family, for the gps coordinates of where you make the dump (er...dispersement). Then, without ever touching the Twelve-Step Plan (holy rewrite of Rod's 12 step plan), suddenly is in possession of the '61 numbers. :shocked:

Of course, you do have his $350. I guess that would be okay. :grin:

Skein

Deepslayer · 11-23-2003, 11:07 PM

John how about "The Book of the Holy Hook". Are you going to be one of the Apostles? How much do they pay for spreading ashes at sea. Maybe we could set up our own crematorium/smoker???
,Ed
Or maybe the "Holy Hookers Book".

[ 11-23-2003, 12:09 PM: Message edited by: Deepslayer ]

OceanBlue · 11-24-2003, 07:39 AM

There is a Church of Beer, why not a Church of the Bent Rod?!

I love that idea - "Holy Hookers Book" !!!

As for "Misery"... I guess the secret is out, huh? :grin: :shocked: :grin:

SlabQuest · 11-24-2003, 09:18 AM

Don't forget that burial at sea is only one of the sevices that can be provided by the Church of TBR:

The bride & groom depart the harbor for their wedding. There would be no reason to stop trolling for the ceremony. The first fish-on is handed-off to the bride (ladies first) then the groom. The wedding pictures show the B & G, the skipper/minister and the baitboy/best man, all holding up TUNA! (don't worry sweetheart, that blood will come right out of your wedding dress)

The wedding party returns to the dock, and the waiting reception party. The BBQ's are already heated up, waiting for the fresh loins for all to enjoy.

[ 11-24-2003, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: SlabQuest ]

Miss B Haven · 11-24-2003, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlabQuest:
The bride & groom depart the harbor for their wedding. There would be no reason to stop trolling for the ceremony.

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helv">Do you "Fish A. Albi"... HOOKUP! (10 minutes later)....take this women...... HOOKUP!...... 10 mintues later... to be your.... HOOKUP!
Does anyone here object... HOOKUP!

Could be the longest Ceremony on record!

already heated up, waiting for the fresh loins for all to enjoy. [/QUOTE]

Hmmmmmm.... haven't been invited to any of THESE Wedding Parties! :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :grin:

11-24-2003, 09:59 AM

Can we do sacrifices on the transom?

edsr · 11-24-2003, 10:16 AM

John ! Just look what you have started.
I am truely humbled by the creative religious thinking of this group. We are obviously a pious and devout group who's only desire is the freedon to worship in the manner and place we wish.
The idea of expanding services to include weddings
and perhaps other social occasions, anniversaries, Bar Mitzvahs, what the hell all welcome at CBR.

Remember the Rajhneeshies? They had 1000's of acres of land and over 100 Rolly Royces and they dressed funny. Maybe I better not mention the way some fishermen dress - Hmm red heels - forget I mentioned that dressing funny part.
edsr

Miss B Haven · 11-24-2003, 10:21 AM

I thought we were sacrifcing you that day Lee.

I can't believe you were out on the swim step on a moving boat (you KNOW why they call that a swim step dontcha?) let alone with no Life Jacket! [img]graemlins/stupid.gif[/img]
Sorry- but I care...... please don't try that on my boat!

11-24-2003, 10:30 AM

Yea Mel. I need a harness and safety rope, I haven't been able to find one that I like though. I am also looking for an orange work floatation vest. I don't trust inflatables.

Miss B Haven · 11-24-2003, 12:11 PM

Bernie- I was pretty sure that pic was NOT from the day I went with you guys on Minaki (cause it was way sunny that day.. .get it... hehe...Sunny!) but Keta did the same thing that day. I seem to remember leaning over the transom holding on to his shorts or something else I could get a hand on! :shocked:

You remember.. .it was the day you brought THE BANANA on board and we only caught ONE TUNA after the bottom fish bite TURNED TO SKUNK!

Then you of course proceded to sleep like the dead while we were all bored to death trying to figure out why the catching was SOOOO BAD! [img]graemlins/berry.gif[/img]

You do remember that day right? Oh- you need to change your diet the night before too. You musta been eating bananas all night cause all that chumming you were doing wasn't helping the fishing either!

At least we didnt take a virgin back to the beach!

CATCH AND EAT · 11-24-2003, 12:29 PM

Still sore about that aye Mel

? Now what you are not tellin the crew is that you had a big bucket of KFC the night before and that is what actually turned the bite off. :shocked: As for me being sick

first time since I was 14. nothing to be embarrassed about since the swells were 8 and the chop 5 that day. Real smoooooooth ocean.

I think what really sent me to the sick bed was the smell of Budwiser, cigeretts and what ever the heck you had for breakfast that morning [img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

Oh man the tuna must not be around cause Mel has taken to dis'in me. What's the matter son....bored?

kamloops · 11-24-2003, 12:36 PM

Bernie,

I was a non-smoker for 6 years till I met Mel.
Now I don't even need to inhale. God Help ME.

I would gladly start back up if I thought it would help me beat Mel with the Tuna fishing.
No, If Mel want's to leak a few of his secrets
out he can smoke all the cigs he want's on my boat. :grin:

Miss B Haven · 11-24-2003, 12:48 PM

Bernie - hope you saw the "

"
I posted that cause I Love ya man. [img]graemlins/hearton.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/eek13.gif[/img]

If I didn't like ya I wouldn't even talk to you (or about you) :grin: !

I learned that from my wife!

Here's to you buddy!

PS- If Miss B is down all winter I might have to bring some Banana's and go fishing on your boat! :smile:

Tom- I already told ya all my secrets. Old bent wheels and a bad exhaust valve gives Miss B that special Tuna call. You just gotta pour some nice cold Sea Water in that back cylinder and find a nice big stick. The one we thumped coming up the river might do it!

[ 11-24-2003, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Miss B Haven ]

kamloops · 11-24-2003, 02:02 PM

Bernie,

I have a 50/50 hurl factor for about the 1st month every season. Usually 2 - 3 times a season is my norm

11-24-2003, 03:10 PM

I got seasick three times this year.

CAPT KUJO · 11-24-2003, 07:04 PM

Let me see..mmmm. I could give it a try

REV KUJO
join me Sundays on the CHURCH ROCKET

my wife will never go for it!

Pilar · 11-24-2003, 11:02 PM

Lee, you are one of a kind, my friend. So there is interest in such a thing as a fishing church after all. Fishermen being independent, superstitious and devout to varying degrees (Usually, devoutness is closely tied to weather peril) we should not even try to restrict the actual worship procedure and have few if any rules except you must go to 'church' on a regular basis. Anything goes in other words. :grin:

Attendance will be closely monitored of course.

Miss B Haven · 11-24-2003, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Keta:
Yea Mel. I need a harness and safety rope, I haven't been able to find one that I like though. I am also looking for an orange work floatation vest. I don't trust inflatables.

<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helv">Hmmmm - Harness, rope and an Orange vest. Yep... if you add a big dang hook dangleing off that Harness......then you can go out on the swim step! Make sure you flap your arms a LOT though! :shocked:

Muhahahahahs! Trolling for Jaws! :grin:

CATCH AND EAT · 11-24-2003, 11:45 PM

I will be happy to collect the offerings or sacrificial tuna. :grin:

Mel funny thing about that picture with Keta. Tom kept goosing the gas but somehow Keta kept his balance. Believe me the shark were right behind the boat waiting for lunch to be served. :shocked:

Miss B Haven · 11-25-2003, 07:32 AM

KUJO- I'm sure there's a lot of using the Lords name on your trip but I'm pretty sure only half of the time (the praying part) fits in a Church Scenario! :shocked: :grin: