Gun-running past your wife (for gottafish)

[PIR8 Hook]

I didn't want to hi-jack gottafish's thread but figured that he may soon need help gun-running past the wife. Pat McMannus had a story on how go get guns past the "better half". PLEASE add yours for him

#1 disasemble the gun. Put the parts in a brown grocery bag. When you get home tell the wife the gunsmith let you dig through his junk pile and that you bet you have enough parts to build a new one.

#2 stop by the Goodwill store buy a crappy lamp. Cut off the wires and tie them to the trigger guard & stick the shade over the barrel. Announce as you come in that you found a new lamp. The wife will say it's so ugly that it HAS got to stay in your den/trophy room.

#3 Women dont really count the guns.... just the empty spaces in the gun cabinet or safe. So get an accordian expandable gun cabinet/safe.

My personal one but it takes about 9 months of preperation: After the birth of a child...while the wife is still in the hospital, go buy one and lay it in the crib so when you bring the wife & child home from the hospital it's waiting. Then say, "I always wanted one just like this but never got it. I just want my child to have everything I didn't have"......(This works).


Best for me but it took three trys:
Marry the right woman. She'll say, "I understand that you need a gun for shooting _____ at 450 yds. Your old gun will only reach to 300 yds, go get it".

The down side to this one is you have to get her guns too.....But it's better to stand in Sportsmans this time of year than having to deal with the crowds at Zales, Jarred or Nordstrom's......

[Klicker]

Always leave home with an empty gun case

[Bill Monroe]

My favorite of Pat's (Some of us, however, cannot try this at home...especially more than once).

Buy the gun.

Hand it to a good enough friend who won't hang onto it himself if things go south.

Some day when she's home and you're not, have him take it to the door, hand it to her with the statement:

"Here's that (shotgun/rifle/etc.) I borrowed from ..... "

[Bull7x6]

"Here's that (shotgun/rifle/etc.) I borrowed from ..... "[/quote]


I like that one too, I just don't let her know the combination to the safe...

Or tell her that you are just keeping a buddys gun in your safe until he can buy a safe of his own to safely store it in. This has worked for me on 3 occasions.

[gottafish]

Im just thankful sportsmens quit the lay away on guns cause That really slowed my perchases down

[Born To Fish 2]

Just buy guns that look similar!!

[PIR8 Hook]

Originally Posted by Born To Fish 2

Just buy guns that look similar!!

That doen't work for my brother....she can tell the minor differences....I can't explain it

[billc_sbio]

Originally Posted by PIR8 Hook

But it's better to stand in Sportsmans this time of year than having to deal with the crowds at Zales, Jarred or Nordstrom's......

[DogZilla15]

I bought a sweet little Sako in .222 and just brought it home and stuck it in the gun rack. Wife wasn't home but when she came home she walked by the gun rack on her way to the kitchen and says, "when did you get the new gun?" She's now an ex......as she should be....

Current wife.....

"Look what I got today."

"Yea, what is it?"

"It's a mod 12 trap grade made in 1939."

"Don't you already have enough of those?"

"Naw, all mine are field grades, always wanted one of these."

"What did it cost?"

"$600....I got a great deal, it looks like new."

"What are you fixing for dinner?"

[Bait O' Eggs]

My hunting buddys wife is an accountant and keeps track of every penny.

Poor guy cant buy a thing without her knowing about the missing funds. He gets off work before she does and he buys all the groceries. He started a program of taking $30 of $40 cash back. The money looks like the grocery bill

He got a new pair of binoculars for $700. paid for them with $500 in cash from the groceries and a $200 check the wife tracked. His wife made the comment about the expensive $200 binos he had and asked if I had some high dollar models like that also.

[eharris]

I hope that none of your wives (or anyone they know) have access to IFish. I wonder how many wives are secretly lurking on line just waiting for something worth blowing their cover over.

My wife is so sick of seeing me on IFish I don't think she could physically stand looking at the page even if she wanted to.

Evan

[Fried Oyster]

My brother in law and I "borrow" each others' guns from time to time. Never know what's gonna be in the safe.

[Don Fischer]

Buy a new gun and wrap it up inside a nice area rug for your wife. Take it in the house and happily tell her you got her a new rug. Unroll it, grab the rifle and put it away. Or you can just carry it in the house and tell her it belongs to a friend and he's having a problem with it that your gonna look into.

But don't take the wife with you and let her help pick it out then stop at the furniture store on the way home. A brand new mod 788 cost me $79 but the couch on the way home was $800!

[duckcall]

I knew an old boy that never had a problem. He always left with an empty gun case and brought it back full.

My Favorite .........
"Honey, look what I got and I got a great deal on it. Saved a $100 bucks." And here's the $100!

[M'kay13]

My friend's wife doesn't like him to buy new guns, so I generously lend him mine. Every time I lend him a gun I make a big show of it and his wife always tells him to do something nice for me because I am so generous.

My wife notices new guns in the house, so I always tell her I am borrowing it from my buddy for "fill-in-the-blank" sport/hunting season.

One time, on his birthday, we both got caught. I took him to the gun shop while his wife prepared a birthday party. I talked him into buying a new Ruger SR9 because everyone had "forgot" his birthday. When his wife called me on my cell phone and asked where we were, I let it slip that we were at the gun shop. "Don't let him buy any guns." I asked her, "Why would I let him buy a gun on his birthday, that's my job." My buddy was safe to walk through the door with his new purchase in hand.

[ajfishfinder]

#1 disasemble the gun.

This also really helps in getting more of them into the safe.

[Shark Bait]

Step 1: Marry a women who buys you guns on a regular basis and supports your addiction 100%.

Step 2: Buy a huge safe to store them all in.

[Headhunter]

Not that I would know about this stuff....

Pleading the Fifth

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


In American criminal law, "taking the Fifth", also known as "pleading the Fifth" or "commanding the fifth", is the act of refusing to testify under oath in a court of law or any other tribunal (such as a Congressional committee) on the ground that the answers that would be given could be used as evidence against the witness to convict him or her of a criminal offense. Although similar to the right to remain silent when being questioned by law enforcement officers, and coming from the same source, namely the Fifth Amendment in the Bill of Rights, the right to refuse to answer when under oath has a longer history than Miranda rights.
In many jurisdictions other than the United States, witnesses may be compelled under threat of contempt to answer questions even when the answers would incriminate the witness in a criminal offense. (However, in Canada for example, Charter §13 provides automatic use immunity.) In such jurisdictions, such statements given under compulsion of subpoena cannot be used as evidence against that person (which is not the case in the United States). The American system has the benefit of not exposing the witness to the risk that law enforcement will be able to obtain collateral evidence based on the witness's testimony that law enforcement could not possibly have learned had the witness been allowed to remain silent.
A witness may not refuse to answer questions on the ground that the answers may reveal matters that may incriminate other persons (with the possible exception of married couples -- see spousal privilege). Generally, a witness may not refuse to answer any relevant question put to him or her unless the answer would incriminate that witness. One common application of this rule is the practice of providing limited transactional immunity to a defendant as to specific crimes, thus narrowing the protection against self-incrimination, and permitting a court to compel answers about those crimes. The victim of a crime may be detained and compelled to answer questions, as a material witness, even if the victim does not want to "press charges," on the theory that the crime is of public concern, and the right does not extend to other parties.
As federal grand juries have the power to subpoena individuals and force them to take the witness stand, defendants in such proceedings invariably refuse to answer any questions put to them, citing their Fifth Amendment rights. If the defendant does answer any question put by the prosecutor during the proceeding, the protection of the Fifth Amendment is lost.
One famous example of "taking the fifth" in recent history was when Colonel Oliver North was asked to testify before Congress regarding his role in destroying documents during the Iran-Contra Affair. [1] North refused to answer on the grounds that his answers would incriminate him for obstruction of justice.
The phrase "I take [or plead] the Fifth" is often used in non-legal contexts to convey a reluctance to answer a potentially embarrassing question.

[Dan360]

Originally Posted by DogZilla15

I bought a sweet little Sako in .222 and just brought it home and stuck it in the gun rack. Wife wasn't home but when she came home she walked by the gun rack on her way to the kitchen and says, "when did you get the new gun?" She's now an ex......as she should be....

Current wife.....

"Look what I got today."

"Yea, what is it?"

"It's a mod 12 trap grade made in 1939."

"Don't you already have enough of those?"

"Naw, all mine are field grades, always wanted one of these."

"What did it cost?"

"$600....I got a great deal, it looks like new."

"What are you fixing for dinner?"

That's not bad. I'd never have tried because that was probably a take-down model. You could have smuggled that in no problem.

[Trick]

Originally Posted by eharris

My wife is so sick of seeing me on IFish I don't think she could physically stand looking at the page even if she wanted to.

Evan

Yup....I know that feeling. I get the how and the heck can you sit there for hours staring at that screen? Don't your eyes ever hurt?

My eyes are well trained machines. 8 years of training honey.....8 years of training.

[baltz526]

here is my solution, buy a gunsafe all her own. then do not look in it ever! i feel no guilt! after going to shop with my wife, handing her the cash to pay the bill and she puts it in her purse and writes a check. next day she is playing card with her girl friends. i feel no guilt at all

[fish forever]

Two options for this thread:

1. get an AR-15 based rifle. After the first one - all additional ones are just parts and accessories for the original. Its even true if you just have one lower. Even the ATF says that new uppers (the working part of the rifle) is just parts.

2. Marry someone with Horses - They will never bother you with how much your hobbies cost (this one also works with someone who has boats, expensive fishing habits, hunting trips.....) . If she ever asks the response that - 'It cost less than your horse, no monthly fees(board), and I dont have to throw a 1/3 bale of hay in the safe twice a day' will stop 'em cold.

[oregonoutdoors]

Originally Posted by Bait O' Eggs

My hunting buddys wife is an accountant and keeps track of every penny.

Poor guy cant buy a thing without her knowing about the missing funds. He gets off work before she does and he buys all the groceries. He started a program of taking $30 of $40 cash back. The money looks like the grocery bill

He got a new pair of binoculars for $700. paid for them with $500 in cash from the groceries and a $200 check the wife tracked. His wife made the comment about the expensive $200 binos he had and asked if I had some high dollar models like that also.

When I was remodeling our house and going out to the home depot twice a day I was able to "save" very quickly.

[Flatfish]

Sounds like some folks need a new wife.

[cwh]

Just buy the rifle, tell her how much it cost, and let her freak out. Everyone needs a chance to blow up every now and then... it keeps the pressure down.

[billc_sbio]

When I was in Vietnam, a Sgt. I knew of "acquired" an (unissued, to him) Govt. (1911) .45 Automatic.

He disassembled it, and over the course of about 2 months sent the pieces back to his wife at home, telling her, "I got this pistol and I'm NOT sure how all the pieces go together. Just hold onto it until I get back and I'll take it to a Gunsmith and have him put it together for me".

Just before Christmas over there, he gets a package, in it there's a note from his wife, "It was getting close to Christmas and I was thinking of how you might NEED that pistol over there.

So as a little present I took the parts you sent to a gunsmith and had him put it together."

Inside the package was his fully assembled .45 Automatic that he'd so cleverly smuggled back home through the mail.

[scottishsetter]

OH! Shoot! That's too funny...
I like the horse suggestion..been there.
And the one on Home Depot once a day.

Mine is select your weapon. M1A;buy the gas cyl. show her the receipt.only $60;;Buy the Op Rod only $50;;Two fiberglass stocks for $40!;; sights $25 and so on then the recv'r.BBl ect. and your rifle is ready to shoot.
Boredom for her has long ago sank in.

[Hunt'nFish]

While preparing for the IFish Predator Hunt last year, the AR was laying against the couch while I orginaized the gear.
Wife asks, "when did you get that rifle?" ......Opps I'd forgotten he'd not seen this one yet. I answered, "Oh I got that 4-5yrs ago".
It wasn't a lie either. She said, "Huh...really?" Yep, Doug & I got a two fer one deal a few years back. To good a deal to pass up.
Not another word was said.
I guess gun running has a staute of limitations.
Hunt'nFish

PS: And yes you CAN have so many they loose track of what you have.
When she asks how many I have......I simply reply 1/2 as many as I do fishing poles.

[PIR8 Hook]

Originally Posted by Hunt'nFish

PS: And yes you CAN have so many they loose track of what you have.
When she asks how many I have....

Name them!

http://www.ifish.net/board/showthrea...ight=name+guns

[Incredible_Bulk]

I've always explained to my wife that when you leave them in the dark safe under their own recognizance, she remembers health class... When one gun loves another gun VERY much...

[feisty's wife]

Just like rod's, never let her know how many youi have.

[bignate]

Originally Posted by Hunt'nFish

When she asks how many I have......I simply reply 1/2 as many as I do fishing poles.

Hahaha thats too good. Best way I have found is to just stay single. Problem with that is the safe is wayyyyy too small...


Bignate

[Half fast Toyn]

She better be great at cooking, cleaning, and washing and folding laundry if she is gonna count my guns....thats all I gotta say about that.

[Sailhuntfish]

When I was in college and living in the dorm at Western Oregon, I hunted EE Wilson. Anyhow we would put our shotguns in golf bags with club head covers over the muzzle.

[Flatfish]

Count her shoes/clothes once a month. Track em on paper.

Next time she questions the firearms population.......

[salmonslayer204]

I agree with Flatfish... Just keep it up with her clothes and purses too. Add up all the money they have spent on that stuff out loud, it really drives them nuts. They will drop it after that.

[spottedhawk36]

i couldnt sneak any of that past my wife lol. she dont mind at all if i buy guns or bows but if i just went out and bought a new gun or bow she would know right away

[mritech]

My wife and I both have our own fun money accounts (this is key!) figure it into your monthly bills that some cash is going into this account. As long as it isnt used to buy lap dances or bar tabs she doesnt give a rip what I buy. I just walk in and say check out what I just bought. She only complains when I dip into the family savings account for toys, then it's time for some splaining......

[Hard Cast]

Originally Posted by Bait O' Eggs

My hunting buddys wife is an accountant and keeps track of every penny.

Poor guy cant buy a thing without her knowing about the missing funds. He gets off work before she does and he buys all the groceries. He started a program of taking $30 of $40 cash back. The money looks like the grocery bill

I can relate to this. My wife works in the accounting department for a large company and she "takes care" of all of our money and she gives me a very small allowance Those darn direct deposits.....

Originally Posted by Bait O' Eggs

He got a new pair of binoculars for $700. paid for them with $500 in cash from the groceries and a $200 check the wife tracked. His wife made the comment about the expensive $200 binos he had and asked if I had some high dollar models like that also.

That there is funny cause I can relate to that also - I just purchased a pair of Leica UV's - they were real cheap honey!

Originally Posted by fish forever

Two options for this thread:
2. Marry someone with Horses - They will never bother you with how much your hobbies cost (this one also works with someone who has boats, expensive fishing habits, hunting trips.....) . If she ever asks the response that - 'It cost less than your horse, no monthly fees(board), and I dont have to throw a 1/3 bale of hay in the safe twice a day' will stop 'em cold.

I don't think this would work because everyone that I know that owns horses can't afford any other hobbies.

Originally Posted by Hunt'nFish

PS: And yes you CAN have so many they loose track of what you have.
When she asks how many I have......I simply reply 1/2 as many as I do fishing poles.

[kodiakfisher]

Originally Posted by Sailhuntfish

When I was in college and living in the dorm at Western Oregon, I hunted EE Wilson. Anyhow we would put our shotguns in golf bags with club head covers over the muzzle.

Now that is funny and clever right there