Does your spouse work outside the home

[Eagleclaw]

I'm just wondering how many families rely on 2 incomes these days? My wife started back to work a couple of weeks ago after having our baby. She only works when i'm off work.

[wannacatchem]

My wife used to. Then we had another child and I am fortunate enough that she doesn't have to. However, she'd go bat crazy if she didn't do something, so she does home daycare. She enjoys it and makes about twice as much as when she was working. The tax breaks can be very nice, too, when running a business inside your home.

Another upside....we don't pay for childcare and she is making fairly good money

[Dave G]

Mine has worked for as long as we have been married. Makes the free time fun.

[thresher]

2 incomes here in this house also. My friends call us DINKS...


Dual

Income

No

Kids

[Norski]

She did up until the 27, she has given her notice, after 10 years at the same place she said it was time to take a brake.
Hope it all works out for us-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It well.

[Eagleclaw]

Originally Posted by Norski

She did up until the 27, she has given her notice, after 10 years at the same place she said it was time to take a brake.
Hope it all works out for us-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It well.

It will work out. My wife wanted to go back to work.

[69scout]

My wife and both work full time. Can't really afford to live with out two incomes nowadays.

Especially with this inflation.

[huntercgr]

Mine always has, and that's NOT changing.

We are also in the DINK crowd.

[gottafish]

yEA mY WIFE WORKS AS WELL. she loves to get out and mingle lol. I think for her work is her social activity but then again she is a mental health theripist.

[STGRule]

Yep. My husband works outside the home. He always has. I too work outside the home.

[12pulls]

My wife worked outside o fthe house until our son was born, then we were one income family. After our son hit school, my wife worked several days a week, barely part time. Now after our son has been out of the house for 5 years, she is working 32 hours a week. Many times it was tough, we were renters for a long time. We just watched our pennies, tried not to get caught up in the more and more mentality. Bought good things but not top of the line and tried to remember that if we had food and roof over us we were in the top 10% of the world.

[Bait O' Eggs]

Since all those working moms dont want to hear what I think of them for dropping their kids off at some day care so they can have a bigger house, bigger car, designer clothes, .... I will just keep my thoughts on parenting to myself.

My wife just went back to work last year after taking a 10 year break to give our kids a quality foundation. It took a lot of sacrifices to forgoe that extra income for 10 years, it meant no exotic vacations, and a not keeping up with the Jone's. Best part is she is back to work teaching school from home, no commute cost, and she can do it in her bathrobe if she so decides.

I have two of the best kids possible, ............ Something which cannot be bought at any price

[bighoof]

Originally Posted by thresher

2 incomes here in this house also. My friends call us DINKS...


Dual

Income

No

Kids

Heard that one before, we are DIK'S

Dual
Income
Kids

[fishkisser]

I guess We are Dik's Also ...

[CamoHunter]

BOE, with this statement there is no question how you feel.

"Since all those working moms dont want to hear what I think of them for dropping their kids off at some day care so they can have a bigger house, bigger car, designer clothes, .... I will just keep my thoughts on parenting to myself. "
I think you just told us...


My wife has always worked outside the home since we were married 27 years ago. She now makes more than me and we will be able to retire no later than 55.
There are times when she wanted to stay home but we have both Grama's very nearby and this has helped...

To each their own, plus and minuses both ways I think.

CH

[VanDaddy]

We are SINKs.

Single Income Numerous Kids.

It will change for me this fall. Wife will go back to work after 10 years off. We have managed OK, but our retirement savings are not near where they need to be. Hope to pay off some bills and save for our future. Kids are now 10 and 8. They are starting to spend more time with dad now anyway, doing crazy things like fishing all day.

[Joe C]

my wife usually works full time, but she's been looking for a job since we moved here. It's kind of pointless for her to take a job under $15 an hour since so much of it would go to daycare and gas, so she's holding out for a good job. In the meantime, we're scraping by. Maybe if I can find a better paying job she could work part time, who knows. I happen to think that daycare can be an amazingly beneficial thing to kids as long as you find the right provider. My son's social skills have always been top notch, and by being around kids a bit older I think it really helped his vocabulary accelerate.

It's a tough choice for a lot of people, and usually people don't do it for a new house and new car. More like a safe neighborhood with a decent school district.

[Coastalfisherman]

My wife worked right up until we had our daughter. She has been home for the past 3 years, and I think we have more money now then we did when we both worked. We tend to be a bit more conservative with our money. She just went back to work this last week. She is now running a child playgroup and a library storytime 4 days per week. Best of all, the little one gets to be with mom all week while I am at work.

[Duckwheat]

My wife has always worked. She would go nuts if she did not in my opinion.

I can remember my ex business partner's wife quit working when she had the first kid and stayed home. I thought she was a little lazy prior to the kids, but she really slowed down after the second one was on the ground.

We were slow to have kids, almost passed. Anyway my wife took 6 months off with each. There was hardly a time when we were around my partners wife that she would not throw some jabs my wife's way for working. It was as if she was guaranteeing her kids success in life by her big rear end staying home. I have seen other women who don't work take shots at my wife. She handles it pretty well.

It got me to wondering. If you stay home with your kids and they turn out to worthless jerks then were you a failure or just had bad luck?

I would not trade the two kids I got for anyone's, no exception. The lesson we have tried to teach is you get busy now to do the things you want to do. They are very independent and know how to work and stay on task. We have also encouraged them to learn to make decisions. If one of them screws something up, I will at least know it was their idea. And not some pen raised idiot who cant think for themselves.

My 3 cents worth on parenting......................

DW

[wsuweston]

Dink here and lovin it

[Big TULE]

We are in a different situation. We live next to the inlaws. They are great and retired. Me and the wife work, and we have an 8 year old boy. Mother in law gets him on the bus and wife gets off work to get him off the bus.
We really do not need her income, so we do not use it. All of it goes to retirement and investments. I pay the bills she invests.
I am 31, she is 33 we have been married for 9 years and we will retire at 48. My son will be 25 and on his own. And we will fish and do whatever.

We really do not need 2 incomes, but boy is it nice. Neither one of us misses anything with our son. I ake a day off if i might miss something due to work. And so can she.

[lor]

We have an agreement.
As long as she still has student loans, working makes sense.
Its not about a larger home, etc, but in this uncertain economy, you never know. That point was made clear in 2001-2002.
I was laid off for 4 months, 1 month into my new job, she lost hers. There was an 8 month period of only 1 income. We made just it fine, but agreed as high tech workers, its more important to ensure our family can weather the storms.

[veilside180sx]

DINKS here as well.

[StickFish]

Once the youngest reached all day elementary school age my wife went back to work part time as a sub for Tigard/Tualatin School Dist. Now she is a learning assistant at one of the schools. She is trying to get more hours.

[tafish7]

My wife and I have both worked all our lives. We raised 2 great sons and have decided that when one retires so will the other.

I sure hope she gets ready soon.

I've need to do more fishing. !!!!!!!

[Maddie'sDaddy]

Originally Posted by gottafish

yEA mY WIFE WORKS AS WELL. she loves to get out and mingle lol. I think for her work is her social activity but then again she is a mental health theripist.

Who might she work for? I work for LifeworksNW and we got lots of them Therapists running around.


MD

[fish_on]

Wife has 1 job, I work 2 full time jobs but it's getting to be too much and I have to scale back to 1.

[Fatkid]

Originally Posted by Bait O' Eggs

Since all those working moms dont want to hear what I think of them for dropping their kids off at some day care so they can have a bigger house, bigger car, designer clothes, .... I will just keep my thoughts on parenting to myself.

My wife just went back to work last year after taking a 10 year break to give our kids a quality foundation. It took a lot of sacrifices to forgoe that extra income for 10 years, it meant no exotic vacations, and a not keeping up with the Jone's. Best part is she is back to work teaching school from home, no commute cost, and she can do it in her bathrobe if she so decides.

I have two of the best kids possible, ............ Something which cannot be bought at any price

Thank you Bait O' Eggs, you and your wife have not only done something great for society, but for yourselves. There can be no better investment than your own children! My wife and I have made huge sacrifices to be as available to our children as possible. I have worked as little as possible to leave me available to parent my children and make it possible for my wife to not work and always available to parent. We have made huge sacrifices, but it has been completely worth it. I volunteer at my little girls kindergarten class and see the difference. Making money to buy a nice house and nice cars doesn't mean you're "providing". Wow, there are a lot of failing parents out there, and I feel it's due to the distraction of making money. I sell real estate. I see it first hand. People make great money, but spend every last penny and keep themselves in a position that makes time with the kids a second priority. It's crazy!

My kids are now 4 and 6. My wife has just went back to work. Our goal was for one of us to always be with them until the youngest was 4 and we made it. The kids are great.

The second income is worth the time and will be helpful.

[Bait O' Eggs]

There are exceptions to everything, a caring grandparent close by, or parents working different shifts, etc... can make a lot of good things happen with kids. But if you can find a study that says it is good to drop the kids off at daycare, I can find 100 that say different.

To many parents out there who are into the "me, me, me" way of life.

This thread was about spouses working outside the house, not parenting, I am sorry for hijacking thread.

[bkedman]

My wife quit working over 9 years ago to have our first kid. Next year will be the first year all kids are in school full time. She will have to decide if she wants to go back to work or not. I would really like her too. It's a heavy burden to be a single income household.

[reelselfish]

mine started back to work after both kids were in school full time and her schedule is such she drops off the kids at school, and mine lets me pick them up they most always get stuck with a parent.(poor them)

[Fast Water]

Nope. She has a full time job at the house with the kids and such.

[RidgeRunner]

My wife works part time, 3 days a week. If the cost of groceries, fuel, etc weren't so I high I would love to have her stay home.

[Sweet Melissa]

Until very recently, I was one of those moms who looked down on the working moms with very young children. But, you know what... staying home all day with little kids is a crazy-making job. You want to feel worn-down, unappreciated, isolated, and have your every decision questioned by someone who hasn't raised kids in 30 years? Become a stay-at-home mom! There are good days. Lots of them. But the bad days really suck, way more than a normal job.

This week, my son turns 2 1/2 - old enough to attend the local preschool/daycare. I am seriously considering sending him for a few hours a week, just to regain my sanity. Am I going to get criticized for doing that? Yes. Is it going to make me a better mom? I'm fairly certain, or I wouldn't even think about it.

Anyway, my point is that staying at home with your kids all day doesn't make you a better parent, and doesn't guarantee better kids. Whatever makes sense financially and emotionally FOR YOUR FAMILY, should be the determining factor.

If you are able to stay home while she goes to work, it sounds like you have a win/win. A little "off time" for her, a little "daddy time" for you and the kids, and a little extra income to make things more comfortable. Good for you guys!

[Big TULE]

I think every situation is different. And you are the one that has to live with the decision, not me. Who are we to judge??? If you decide to work, i will not judge you. It is not my place.

We all have our faults, and we all get to make our own decisions. And those little ones are ours to raise. I may raise mine different than you, but in the end you have to ask... Are my kids a productive member of society, that is really what i want for my son. I do not care what he does as long as he contributes.

[ryleysmom]

Okay when it was just my son and I was a full time student I had the BEST Christian based daycare here in town, I love the teacher/gramma she runs a good daycare. Then I got pregnant with #2 I went to school full time up till Christmas break, and #1 in daycare.
NOW problem being I want to go back to work, so bad, so I can have a extra income for our family and so I can interact with some adult and not jsut a 4.5 years old and 6 month old. But I cant afford daycare for both of the boys so here I sit and wait till #1 starts school and then I WILL go back to work and put #2 in the same daycare #1 was in..
So since I cant afford both boys in daycare at 7$ a hour, I will have to wait..

But let me tell you I CANT WAIT to go back to work and be able to contribute and have the extra income. Untill then I will be the best stay at home mom that I can be and give my boys everything they need and sacrifice the things I need or want... That is part of being a parent.

[jmg]

My wife and I both work with 1 kid. I work out of the house (for the state) and she works at home (manage apartments). Her office is attached to our apartment and have a babysitter for the overlap of when I leave for work until she's off work. The babysitter comes to our place so mom's only just down the hall if needed. We had a nanny until she just recently moved back to Michigan which is a bummer for me cause now I can't up and go fishing. I actually have to plan my trips out in advance now. I wouldn't trade it for anything at this point. Besides not having a rent/mortgage payment and she actually makes more money than I do the $$$ in the bank are almost about to cause me to go on a shopping spree.

[negoc8]

I drive by a day care everyday on the way to work. All the little guys penned up behind a 6 foot chain link fence with a couple young 20 something kids "watching" them. I can't see anything good about it.

Makes me proud of my wife. She is our kids MOM. She's home with the snacks ready when they get off the bus, it's never a hassle when they have a day off at school or come down with a cold. Ya it's a pain sometimes, we don't eat out often and most family vacations are spent camping at the beech, we have a conservative home, cars and small boat, but I feel very good about the way we are doing it.
I am thankful I was making more money when the kids came along. it could be me at home instead of my wife, I don't think I could ever work that hard!

[bassettmama]

My hubby was a stay at home dad until last year, when our youngest finally got into school and the older kids were old enough(mature enough really) to take care of her. It is much better with two income, but now even with the extra income it's getting hard again because of the gas prices, he commutes 25 miles one-way to work, I know some are driving much further, but it is still hard to see that price go up and up

Luckily our children have NEVER had to be babysat except for the rare occasion like a night out, or a scheduling error, with school and such.

[FrogPond]

Does my wife work outside the home?

Not much...I am always the one mowing the lawn! bada-bum---chi

My wife makes more $ than I do. I told her I will stay home with the kids...I don't think I am going to get away with that though.

DINK

[CGRFish]

My wife works at a very good job paying a moderate wage but great benefits. I'm self employed, so the health insurance benefit is huge. She pays her gas, buys the groceries, and gives us peace of mind with the insurance.

Interesting perspectives on raising kids. My wife stayed at home for about 12 years until the youngest was in school. Then I started my business, so my hours were flexible to help out with the kids, be there after school, etc. My biggest observation - when she was a full time mommy, she never related to anyone over the age of 7, and kind of lost perspective on the world, and her self esteem plummeted. After going back to school, getting a two year degree, and now a good job, I have my wife back - the person I maried and will celebrate 25 years with next month. I place a huge value in having mommy's be mommys, but I also have seen a huge benefit (not finanical) with her going back to work...

[WaterDog]

Wife has works a professional job the last 10 years.

The nest just became empty yesterday although I'm sure there will be some sort of financial support needed for a few more years. Almost a DINK!

[elkstopper]

My wife works outside the home, started and built a print shop. We were able to hire a nanny to come in to work for six hours a day and play with the kids. She was with us for 9 years.

Now that they are in school (2nd and 5th grade) I pick them up each day and they spend an hour at my office doing there homework before we go home to have fun. My boss loves having the kids around, he's still trying to talk them into answering the phones. The wife now probably gets twice as much work done in half the time.

You might find a job that has onsite daycare, a boss that doesn't mind kids coming to work, or a flexible schedule that enables you to take care of kids as well as working. Maybe start a business???

It is a balancing act at times, kids schedules vrs work schedule. Kids sick or breaking up fights or arguments.

My wife and I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of flexibility with our jobs - kids first, work second.

Wish you the best in your search.

[Eagleclaw]

Originally Posted by CGRFish

My biggest observation - when she was a full time mommy, she never related to anyone over the age of 7, and kind of lost perspective on the world, and her self esteem plummeted.

That my wife to a tee... since she's gone back to work she feels so much better about herself. She works at a spa here in town and only goes in when her clients arrive. Her selfesteem has risen she feels good about herself and she gets to spend time with other women. everything she makes is bonus money. She only works when i have my 7 days off in a row so it's nice. One of us is always at home with the kids.

[fishgirl]

Yes, my spouse works outside the home. I don't! I went back to work for a little while after my son was born, but I hated it. I was always so tired and run down after working all day and then coming home and cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. etc. Plus, by the time I got home from work, it was almost his bedtime and we didn't get to spend much time together. It's tough being here all day with a two year old and another on the way, but I wouldn't want to trade it for anything! I live for nap time (right now, which is why I'm surfing ifish!)

[fishlipper]

We now have three kids (4months, 3, and 5). My wife took a year off with the first, 6 months off with the second, and will be going back to work in two months. She works 20 hours a week and her mom watches the kids on the days she works. My wife is very intelligent, and being a stay at home mom is great for her, but being able to get out of the house and intteract with adults is so beneficial (mentally). She is a different person when she is able to work a little bit. I know this might not work for everyone, but it sure does for our family. If it was not for grandma it would not even be possible. We do pay her a little bit every month, so it is a win-win for everyone.

[OneLastCast]

Well we are Double Income No Kids With A Dog so I guess that makes us

DINKWADS

[BigWaterBigFish]

...my old man use to tell me ... "Jean-Pierre, chere 'te garcon, you know, it is just as easy to love a rich woman, as it is a poor one" ... now I didn't marry a rich woman and, in fact, it wasn't till after we were married that I found out just how much more she makes than I do ...

[FrogPond]

Originally Posted by OneLastCast

DINKWADS

[wthr4d]

we felt it was more important to have a mom home for the kids full time until they became more independant and less impressionable. Now that they are in their teens and she finished college, she is looking for work. Gotta pay those student loans.

paul

[TJfirebug]

My husband-to-be and I both work full time and are Vol. firefighters. Together we have 3 kids 15, 8, 6. two dogs and two cats so we are very busy. But we still find time to fish and have fun.

[flapbreaker]

Originally Posted by Bait O' Eggs

There are exceptions to everything, a caring grandparent close by, or parents working different shifts, etc... can make a lot of good things happen with kids. But if you can find a study that says it is good to drop the kids off at daycare, I can find 100 that say different.

To many parents out there who are into the "me, me, me" way of life.

This thread was about spouses working outside the house, not parenting, I am sorry for hijacking thread.

Both my wife and I work. We each have a career that we enjoy. We have one child and want no more. We take my son to an organized daycare facility 3 days per week. Since he is an only child I can honestly say that he has benefited immensley from the social interaction. I don't need a stinking study to tell me anything. I think it's a fantasy to believe that children should spend the first 5 years of their life at home with mom on a perpetual holiday. There are indeed very real benefits to a structured daycare. Think what you want, I'm glad you feel all warm and fuzzy inside about your choice. Good for you. I feel equally as warm and fuzzy because of the growth our son has experienced.

[fishgirl]

Originally Posted by flapbreaker

I think it's a fantasy to believe that children should spend the first 5 years of their life at home with mom on a perpetual holiday.

Wow. I don't take sides on this issue as I can see benefits to both sides. My son has been in daycare, and he had a lot of fun and I think it was good for him. And now I stay home with him and I think there are a lot of benefits there as well. But to say that staying at home with mom is a "perpetual holiday", well, that just makes me mad. Bottom line is it's a personal choice and only the parent(s) can make that choice. But don't bad mouth me for what I chose to do.

[flapbreaker]

Originally Posted by Sweet Melissa

Anyway, my point is that staying at home with your kids all day doesn't make you a better parent, and doesn't guarantee better kids. Whatever makes sense financially and emotionally FOR YOUR FAMILY, should be the determining factor.

Amen!

[flapbreaker]

Originally Posted by fishgirl

Wow. I don't take sides on this issue as I can see benefits to both sides. My son has been in daycare, and he had a lot of fun and I think it was good for him. And now I stay home with him and I think there are a lot of benefits there as well. But to say that staying at home with mom is a "perpetual holiday", well, that just makes me mad. Bottom line is it's a personal choice and only the parent(s) can make that choice. But don't bad mouth me for what I chose to do.

fishgirl, I didn't state my thoughts clearly. I didn't mean to suggest that the perpetual holiday was for the mom. Not in a million years. I was talking about the children. Probably should of left that out because I know there are some great moms and dads that can run a very structured day for their children but a lot of people, like myself, have trouble keeping a routine for their kids if they were home everyday. I probably shouldn't have generalized. SOrry about that.

[fishgirl]

Originally Posted by flapbreaker

fishgirl, I didn't state my thoughts clearly. I didn't mean to suggest that the perpetual holiday was for the mom. Not in a million years. I was talking about the children. Probably should of left that out because I know there are some great moms and dads that can run a very structured day for their children but a lot of people, like myself, have trouble keeping a routine for their kids if they were home everyday. I probably shouldn't have generalized. SOrry about that.

Thank you for clarifying. I'm not mad at you anymore!

[uhmw]

You bet she doesShe got two masters degrees and has been an educator for the past 17 years all the while rasing three kids who have everything they could ask for and then a bit more. I could go on about all the vacations we have been on as a family(Europe,maui,mexico,alaska,new york,DC, and the disney's several times) and the fun we have with the all the toys that an extra income has enabled us to enjoy(boats,campers and pools). Since they all were day care kids they have managed stellar grades in one of the best school districs in oregon and my wifes 20 years senority will be nice when they start the collage of their choosing. My wife never needed to work but between her love of teaching and the benifits to our children it was a pretty clear cut choise for us.

[Pinecone]

Yes, my wife works outside the home....me on the other hand....nope!

I'm fortunate enough to be a stay at home Dad, I quit my job almost a year ago, and I love it.

The quality time with my son is the best. Play dates, Art class, trips to the park....I wouldn't have it any other way.

It takes practice, and trial and error. There's been good days and bad (as Sweet Melissa stated, the bad days can be very bad...But I have to disagree with her statement about bad days being way worse then a real job....maybe I just haven't had enought time in the stay at home saddle though....), but overall it's been a great time, and will continue to be for quite a while. He's 16 months old now, its only going to get more fun as he gets older. (we'll have another kid eventually too, double the fun, right?) I think I'm learning as much as he is, and my wife loves to come home with dinner on the table and smiles on our faces (well, most of the time...).

Oh yea, and when he gets a bit older....oh, think of the fishing trips! whoo hoo!

- Joseph

[fishitis]

Single income, wife stays home with the 9 year old twins. Although she volunteers a lot. Several years before we had kids, we lived on my income and saved her income - developed a one income habit and built a big savings account that has helped us. That also set us up to pay off all our car loans and never had any since. I expect she will go back to work someday, but it sure is nice the way it is now. Heck, she even mows the lawn so that I can go fishing more

[fishbait]

YES, my wife works outside the home.

And as a matter of fact if she worked a little harder and made more money or perhaps took a second job, I could fish a whole lot more!






Now, I just hope she does not read this post or I will be in for it.