Advantages of manhood - joke

This was sent to me by a friend - disclaimer; I'm not a sexist pig.


Boy, it's good to be a man
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's behind if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
Same work....more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different."
One mood, ALL of the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "he must be mad at me"
You don't mooch off others desserts.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
YOU CAN DO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING FOR 25 PEOPLE ON December 24TH, IN 20-45 MINUTES!!
Boy, it's good to be a man!

[CATCH AND EAT]

Male shauvenist pig