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02-06-2008, 06:35 AM
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#1
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Beaverton & Welches, OR, USA
Posts: 24,532
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Ponderisms
'Got these from a friend at work . . . .  . . . . enjoy! Don
Ponderisms
Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? *
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you _IN_ a movie, but you're _ON_ TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? *
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your bottom?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets Mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
__________________
Oregon Master Hunter. Life-member, Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States. Member: Oregon Hunters Association & Oregon Firearms Federation. ODFW Volunteer.
From the day you're born 'til you ride in a hearse, 'ain't nothin' so bad it couldn't have been worse. Give up on perfectionism, welcome to an imperfect world. Life is a zigzag, not a straight line (authors unknown).
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02-06-2008, 06:48 AM
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#2
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Tuna!
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: marysville,wa
Posts: 1,170
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Re: Ponderisms
i love this kind of stuff, thanks
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02-06-2008, 06:56 AM
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#3
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Beaverton & Welches, OR, USA
Posts: 24,532
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Re: Ponderisms
Me too . . . Don
__________________
Oregon Master Hunter. Life-member, Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States. Member: Oregon Hunters Association & Oregon Firearms Federation. ODFW Volunteer.
From the day you're born 'til you ride in a hearse, 'ain't nothin' so bad it couldn't have been worse. Give up on perfectionism, welcome to an imperfect world. Life is a zigzag, not a straight line (authors unknown).
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02-06-2008, 07:26 AM
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#4
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Ifish Nate
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: loomis ,ca
Posts: 2,314
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Re: Ponderisms
thats a good one . i liked the part about . Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
luke
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R.I.P asa bear . you will be missed more then you know . its to bad you never learned to talk .just think of the stories you could be telling now
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02-06-2008, 07:57 AM
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#5
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Steelhead
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 413
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Re: Ponderisms
Ok good one
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02-06-2008, 02:54 PM
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#6
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Tuna!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,071
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Re: Ponderisms
Maybe not quite so ponerous but I've always wondered:
Why are security camera images so blury when its all about how good a picture you can get of the guy? 
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Things always work out in the end, if they haven't worked out, its not the end yet.
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02-06-2008, 08:05 PM
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#7
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King Salmon
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Emerald Triangle
Posts: 8,357
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Re: Ponderisms
Thanks Don ... I needed that ...
__________________
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." ~Thomas Edison ...
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02-06-2008, 08:24 PM
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#8
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: under the hat
Posts: 12,601
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Re: Ponderisms
Quote:
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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That one gave me a bit of pause to ponder, as well as this one:
Quote:
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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So if you're assassinated, do the clothes you wear for eternity have a hole in them?
__________________
The days are long but the years are short.
"This community is what it is, because our citizens are who they are." - Plato
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