Why men don't write advice columns

[julezilla]

Bill Walter's Problem Page

Dear Bill:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Mrs. Norma Melia




Dear Norma:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Bill

[Artwo]

I think Bill's response was right on target...................

I wouldn't touch the other issue with a ten foot pole either

[Jaws]

What was his former job? A female mannequin at Macys?

[1bigfish]

Sounds like good advice to me.

[rowmanholiday]

She's just mad that he looks better in her clothes than she does.:grin:

[cimfl]

Couldn't have said it better myself, well, actually I think she should have had the common sense to check the muffler bearings. If those things get out of lube, they cause all kinds of problems!

[julezilla]

I'd have asked if she was sure she hadn't just run out of gas . . . some women are really good at not paying attention to the gas guage

[OceanBlue]

Classic!

[fishbait]

Not gonna touch this one. No way, nada. No comment from me.

Learning to keep big mouth shut.

But I just have one tiny question.

When the wife said:

I walked back home to get my husband's help.

What in the heck is she doing walking back home. She needs to get into work so she's not late and take care of the car on her coffee break or lunch hour.

[pdxkevin]

great no I need a new keyboard.... That was a great one. I loved the replies, too.

[jokester]

LOL

-jokester

[CATCH AND EAT]

Originally Posted by julezilla

Bill Walter's Problem Page

Dear Bill:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Mrs. Norma Melia




Dear Norma:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Bill

Probably not the float. Most cars and trucks these days are fuel injected. If the car is turbo charged I would look into the waste-gate or clogged converter. Otherwise I think she ran out of gas.

On another note, the poster does not identify herself as being blonde or not. This could lead to a variety of problems. I think Bill did just fine.

Far as the husband is concerned he was probably just doing some laundry and wanted to make sure all his cloths were washed. I think that is pretty helpful of him.

[StickFish]

Originally Posted by CATCH AND EAT

Far as the husband is concerned he was probably just doing some laundry and wanted to make sure all his cloths were washed. I think that is pretty helpful of him.

Oh this is going to get rich :lurk:

[Jaws]

Please God, Let's hope it wasn't a thong!

[julezilla]

Originally Posted by CATCH AND EAT

Far as the husband is concerned he was probably just doing some laundry and wanted to make sure all his cloths were washed. I think that is pretty helpful of him.

A guy just trying to do his laundry gets smacked in the face with an ultimatum. What is this world coming to?

[RBfisher]

I don't think there was anything wrong with the car.
She used that as an excuse to go back and spy on her husband, women are like that.

[OceanBlue]

Originally Posted by RBfisher

I don't think there was anything wrong with the car.
She used that as an excuse to go back and spy on her husband, women are like that.

OMG! My sides are gonna split!

[gonfishenagin]

good one lmaooooooo

[fishkisser]

Whats the big deal ? So the Guy lost his job and gets bored and trys on some of his Wifes unmentionables and shoes ... It probably made Him feel a lot sexier and better about Himself in his depressed state ... And then the Wife catches Him and flips out and gives him an ultimatum... What a heartless female ... Typical ...By the way did anyone mention plugged fuel filter or bad coil and what about moisture in the distributor cap...:grin:

[anglingaddict]

:lurk: Oh this is PRICELESS!!! Keep em comin' folks!! :grin:

[CGRFish]

I dont understand why she's upset. At least one of her girlfriends wasnt with him and dressed in his underwear:shocked:.... I second the call to check the muffler bearings.

[Sea Jypzee]

Great responses so far. Good way to start my morning.

I too have to wonder if she didn't really run outta gas.

[StickFish]

Ignoring the gas gauge - I can't tell you how many times, I've gotten in the van and the miles to empty was under 10. We have a 26 gallon tank and the record so far is 25.87 gallons - Mrs Sea's comment, "See I could have gotten to work and back without filling up."

Women are spaghetti and men are waffles. She asked this multi threaded confused pile of noodles question on a car advice column and all the guy did was stay in his waffle box. I'd have done the same thing.

[julezilla]

For me it's not so much the ignoring the gas guage, it's underestimating the distance to be travelled. "Multnomah falls to Troutdale? Eh, can't be more than 5 maybe 6 miles, gauge says I have about 10 miles left on the tank - I can make it with fuel to spare."

Fortunately, seems the kind engineers at Ford know about the underestimating distance phenomena, and built in an extra 20 miles or so of slop on the digital gauge. Note to self - when it says 10 miles left to empty, it REALLY means more like 30. I could probably have made it to Portland easy.

[kayakfisher]

Hey, my car is trained to konk out if I am withing 500 feet of it while being dressed in that fashion... prevents me from embarrassing myself..

I was wondering if there was a reason why all you smart experienced fisherman don't volunteer to have me on the boat to show your secret spots and methods!!

I only dress that way so I because it dries fast after wading into the river to chase my fish...

ROTFL....

M

[STRUTTIN-1]

Originally Posted by julezilla

I'd have asked if she was sure she hadn't just run out of gas . . . some women are really good at not paying attention to the gas guage

OR a plugged fuel filter.I would check the above first though.Whatis guys advise column Specialize in.Marital advice or auto advise?If it is auto advise I think one he overlooked some obvious causes and two under the circumstances he answered professionaly.

[Fast Water]

Vapour locked.

Yep.

[anglingaddict]

Originally Posted by Fast Water

Vapour locked.

Yep.

AND IT's ABOUT TO BLOW!!!!

[Chrome Bumper]

Does this make my butt look big?

[ampersat]

It's not the outfit, CB.

[jaxflyfish]

Here is the other side of the coin.......why men shouldn't write in to advice columns!!!

Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse which was open, her hair was unkempt, and she began stuffing some of her underclothes into her purse.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,
Perplexed

[WAID]

Originally Posted by CGRFish

I dont understand why she's upset. At least one of her girlfriends wasnt with him and dressed in his underwear:shocked:.... I second the call to check the muffler bearings.

I have found that http://www.kalecoauto.com/ has the best prices on muffler bearings.

As for the vapor lock possibility "There's nothing funny about Vapor Lock. In fact Vapor Lock is the third most common automotive malfunction in America... so please, take care of your vehicle..." -Joe Namath

And for the golf club I would take it into the pro-shop particularly if it is still under warranty, repair graphite composites isn't very easy or successful in most cases. Probably time to upgrade anyway.