New Alarm System
Subject: How To Install A Home Security System
How To Install A Home Security System - Southern Style………
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines; include a deer thigh-bone.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Gravedigger, and me went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in a few minutes. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell because of all the blood. It took Bobbi-Jo hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em up in the house so you better wait outside. They're kinda spooked.
We'll be right back.
Bubba
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An old legend holds that since the Bible says God created all the great sea monsters on the fourth day (Genesis 1:21), Thursday is the best day to watch for them to appear.
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