Un Happy Hollidays

FastAction · 12-18-2003, 12:58 AM

For me and my family this has been the hardest, saddest holliday season ever. On Oct 27th, our family lost Grandpa! Our family had a strong tradion of Thanksgivings and Xmas Eves that all of a sudden would become awkward. This past Thanksgiving was tough and all Aunts, uncles and familys decided to have Thanksgiving at their own homes so the burdon wouldn't be on Grandma.

The day after Thanksgiving I woke up to find my Father dead in his lazy boy chair. His death was such a shocker, since he was only 50 years old. Our family was still mouring my Grandfathers death and now my Fathers. Christmas is just around the corner and my family wants no part in thinking of traditons with all the saddness we have encountered in the past few weeks. I have been here in the TriCitys tring to finish up projects that my Father left behind or UNFINISHED. This is all for my mother and family.

My mother requested of me to have the old family dog "BO" put to sleep because he was very old. His hips were shot, as is common in labrador retreivers, deaf, and many other things. But I felt the dog was happy and would just die at this home. I took the dog to the vet to have him put down on Monday. This whole week I have been feeling guilty for doing that. I can't get it off my mind. Tonight I came back from town to find my new Lab "Sparky" Dead also. Sparky was hit by a car on the highway. I got Sparky from Capt'n Dan. He was a rescued lab, and I put so much training into him to hunt, etc.

I know God has wonderful plans for my family. Its so hard, my family and I are sick of death, mourning and pain. I just want this year to end. Sparky put the Icing on the cake, I have faith in God, But I am absolutly lost inside.

Please Pray~
Matt

Jennie@ifish · 12-18-2003, 06:36 AM

...I am so sorry for all that you have lost. It sure puts my life and woes into perspective. I am so sorry, and will pray for your healing, and your families happiness.

Please hang onto the knowledge that God knows best, and "this, too, will pass."

That's tough to remember, when it all hits at once. I sure will be including you in our families prayers.

Hang in there. Prayers are sent your way.

Jen

Grantspastor · 12-18-2003, 06:56 AM

I am so sorry! What a terrible grief. You need the comfort of the Holy Spirit in a very real way. I will pray

DAB · 12-18-2003, 12:45 PM

I am so sorry my sympithys are with you and your family, I can feel the pain in your words. I will pray for you and your family .
ICL-DAB

12-18-2003, 02:15 PM

:depressed:

CATCH AND EAT · 12-18-2003, 02:37 PM

Hang in there and trust God. Be strong in your commitment and know that it is perfectly fine to grieve the loses. Sure hurts this time of year believe me, I know. I'll pray too.

12-19-2003, 08:13 AM

I am so sorry for your losses. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling, especially this time of year.

I read your post yesterday and it's really hit home with me. One thing I found interesting in your post is that you and I are similar. My family is centered around our grandmother, my dad is in his 50's and we are all lab lovers. I have two chocolates and they are our 'other kids'. Your losses must be devastating.

If there is anything I can share with you it's this - Christmas is a time to really celebrate the fact that Jesus was born into the world, and the reason he was born was to die, for us. Because of his death we are able to have a relationship with God and the sting of death is gone.

I'll pray for you and your family over this holiday season.

God Bless!
Dave

shalom · 12-19-2003, 10:48 AM

I am so sorry for your loss . God does have a great plan for each of us , but it is still very hard for us to understand why these things have to happen at this time of the year . I like the way that EASTSIDE DAVE wrote his post . It is very important to remember that JESUS did die for each of us , and he is the reason for the season .I willpray for comfort and peace for you and your family .

GOD BLESS YOU ALL

SHALOM

Fish-n-Fever · 12-20-2003, 07:22 AM

Matt,
I too will pray for you and your family. I have also lost relatives close to holidays and special days of the year. Here is something I wrote 3 months before I had my heart attack, an attack that should have taken my life but didn't. I didn't know at the time why I even wrote it then after my attack it came home to me even more. I survived that and knew I had been inspired to write this yet didn't know why after all I had survived. Maybe if someone reads this they will get comfort in the words I believe were inspired by God. I hope this helps.
Ron
Here it is.......

In the past when Illness has come on those I love I have often thought about all the things that have happened in the relationship I have had with that loved one.

During the past few days it has been on my mind even more. I think of how I have been in the past and some of the things I did or didn't do, things said and not said and how I will miss them.

I thought I was looking at these events or actions from "my" point of view. My father and mother have both had health problems in the form of strokes, heart disease and cancer. There have been times during their health issues that we <the family> thought their life on earth could be over at any moment. We lived day to day, minute to minute not knowing. Every time the phone rang we feared answering it, especially in the late evening hours.

During these troubling times my mind would reflect on many things. How, in the past I had spoken words that hurt, did things that caused pain or could have if they had been known about. Times I had missed occasions to be with them because I had other things to do, phone calls I could have made to just say hello. The guilt over these things was there but the thought of no longer being able to talk to them or hug them physically was overwhelming.

I tried my best to look at this through my father or mothers eyes, how they felt, what they were thinking. My heart would race, my breathing would become labored when I saw things, it was as though I had tunnel vision. I could not focus on ordinary every day things. My entire thought process was consumed by what had happened and would never again be in the relationship. I knew I had been what most people would consider a "good" person but the things that had gone wrong and the pain I had caused no matter how minor seemed overwhelming at times. I would sit, stand or be laying down and my eyes would well up and I had to stifle tears and sobs.

Just a few minutes ago before I decided to write these thoughts down I finally did see things from my Mom or dads point of view. How I did this was no bolt of lightening or brilliant light bulb going off
it was by putting myself in my Mom or dads place and my children in my place.

There have been things said to me by my kids and things done and not done that hurt me and at times hurt me very deeply but you know what? I forgive them, I love them. Think about it I love them!
No matter what they do or say I love them!

When it comes time for me to no longer be on this earth with them I do not want them to think the thoughts I have about Mom or dad.
I don't want them to feel pain or burdened by what they have said or done. I know they will miss me but I will always be there with them. I only want them to know I love them.

I don't want my last few months or days with my loved ones to be filled with false smiles that mask the pain they feel for what has happened in the past or feeling sorry for me or for themselves. I want them filled with love and happiness.

I have had a life, not a perfect life or a "good" life all the time I have simply had a normal life! From the moment we are born we begin to die. It doesn't make sense to spend decades making a life and making special memories only to spend the last and most precious of times being sad or hurting. I don't want that for my kids, family or my friends when I must go and I know my Mom or dad don't want that either. I don't want to have to look into the faces of those I love most in this world and see pain or heartache.

I know my Mom and dad love me, my kids, grandchild and wife love me, my friends love me and I love them.

Rest well and take comfort in the simple fact,
I love you as I will take comfort in knowing you love me.

If there is anything in your mind that you think needs forgiven
consider it done and the finale thing I want to say to you, if for some reason I don't get a chance to say it, if the end takes me by suprise is this......Love conquers everything and I Love You.

Sturgeon · 12-20-2003, 11:26 PM

Matt, so sorry.I am feeling devistated by your loss. I too have exsperience a loss like this. not quite as severe as the loss you have encountered but a loss the same. If I can say one thing to you. " this is all part of GOD's devine plan and if you beleave in him all will become clear". You are in my prayers!!!!!
God Bless you

First Light Bite · 12-23-2003, 01:48 PM

Matt so sorry to read about your loss's. May the Lord bless and comfort you in your time of need.

Mikeymoto · 12-28-2003, 07:36 PM

Matt I will pray for you and your family. I know first hand holiday losses are especially hard.
Mike

Fishalot · 12-28-2003, 11:18 PM

I am glad to hear you know that God has plans for you in all this .We can't and are not supposed to understand all the things of our God, if we did he would no longer be a Sovereign God. Keep the faith and turn to much prayer in this time of sorrow the holy spirit in us keeps us strong.

God's grace be with you and your family.
Dylan