How to forgive???

Hawg Caller · 12-17-2003, 10:38 AM

Hey all,
maybee some of you can help me with this...Back in aug. the love of my life for 25 yrs. ran off with another guy,I think Im getting over the worst of it, and one of my morning devotionals was saying that we need to forgive others as he forgave us. Im having a REAL hard time with this,any suggestions on how...I just cant seem to do it.Is it too soon or am I just nuts?

Private-Aye-Fish · 12-17-2003, 10:58 AM

Hawg,

Tough task. I have found that when I pray for the person that I have a resentment against on a daily basis, that it seems to make the resentment pass.

I know it is tough praying for someone you are mad at. For me a resentment against someone is like taking a poison and then waiting for that other person to die from it.
It hurts me more than them.

Phil

wyeast · 12-17-2003, 04:22 PM

This is an incredible world and the Lord wants us to minister for him in everything we do. Take this experience and grow. Love the Lord and he will comfort you.
You have so much to give and you have to keep focused on that!!!! Prayers go out to you!

happybrew · 12-17-2003, 04:48 PM

Grants Pastor is right on the money. Forgiveness is a decision. Our emotions may not follow what our head says, but eventually they will fall into line.

happybrew

DAB · 12-17-2003, 09:31 PM

I will pray that you will be able to forgive.
DAB

[ 12-17-2003, 10:36 PM: Message edited by: DAB ]

Grantspastor · 12-17-2003, 11:21 PM

Don't confuse forgiveness with getting over the pain and grief. Forgiveness is not forgetting, nor is it no longer feeling the anger and pain.
It is basically a decision to travel on. There is nothing I know that you can do to erase the emotions of what you went through. Time will help. The ministry of the Holy Spirit will help.
God will cause you to prevail if you seek Him and trust Him.

Here are some thoughts. First...technically...it is incumbent on the one who sinned against you to seek forgiveness. If that happens you are bound to give it. This means no longer bringing it up. The other person may never seek forgiveness. I believe it is in your best interest to forgive anyway. Don't let your life be ruined by harboring bitterness and malice in your heart. This is what Ephesians 4 calls "sinning in your anger". The Christian goal is not to sin in your anger.

Jennie@ifish · 12-18-2003, 07:12 AM

I went through this with my husband.
Finally, I am able to talk with him. Still can't talk with his wife, much, but... I am still working on that. :smile:

Anyhow, it takes a lot of time, patience, and prayer. I still work on it nearly every day.

I do think that I have grown in my walk since then, even though I have had major set backs, and continue those setbacks, periodically.

Anyhow, my prayers will be with you. It's a long, tough road, but along the way, there will be many blessings.

Jen

rob allen · 12-18-2003, 05:42 PM

Ditto what grants Pastor said and I would add that.
Unforgivness WILL lead to bitterness and it won't lead to anything else. Trust me I know both from the Word and from experience.

Also understand what God has foregiven you?

There was a story Jesus told of a rich man who became in debt to somone else and that person forgave his debt but another guy owed him money and he went very wickedly and demamded payment from the guy.
In light of God's mercy and foregivness toward us how can we hold anything against anyone for anything they coulc do to us???

Obe thing I learned long ago, at least I hope I learnd it: It's not the circumstances of your experience that destroys your life , it's your responces to thoes circumstances..

Will be praying for you.

Pete · 12-19-2003, 06:08 PM

When I think of foregiveness, I always return to the immensely heartfelt act I witnessed several years ago. My employer lent her car to her sister so she could travel from Portland to Gray's Harbor to visit her own children. On the way, she was involved in a traffic accident. A young woman who was drunk veered across the road and caused a front end collision that killed my boss's sister.

My immediate response to the accident was that I believed I would be filled with rage. I was truly rocked back on my heels when I heard my boss's response. Initially the young woman who caused the accident was jailed. My boss took a month off from work and stayed in a motel by the courthouse and jail where the young woman was lodged. She testified at the sentencing hearing that the young woman should be released pending trial and volunteered to guarantee the young woman's appearance at trial.

Essentially, my boss took this young woman under her wing to help her get her life back together and live as well as possible. Her explanation was that there had already been one tragic loss of life and she didn't want to see another life lost. She told the young woman that she was expected to take control of her life, conquer her substance problems, get an education and live her life as a gift in tribute to the sister my boss lost. My boss then became the young woman's custodian and after a short prison sentence, paid for the young woman's education.

Instead of harboring anger, my boss took it upon herself to see that the young woman would would live her life in tribute. It was the most caring, magnanimous act I have ever witnessed. And in the process, my boss forgave the young woman her past in exchange for the promise of a future that would benefit everyone.

rob allen · 12-19-2003, 06:43 PM

WOW Thats an incredible boss Pete Thanks for shareing

Hawg Caller · 12-19-2003, 11:22 PM

Thanks guys,
your all a big help. Im having a tough time and it's good to know there are still great people around to help. Thanks.
Rich

Snag · 12-22-2003, 03:23 PM

Ditto Grantspastor and many others. For what it's worth, I've found forgiveness and the Lords command to forgive is as much, I think more, for the aggrieved persons' own emotional/spiritual health as it is for the transgressor. Forgiveness is about letting go and moving on with life and not being consumed.

NETONE · 12-22-2003, 11:17 PM

Hey Hawg Caller....give me a call, I'm off from 12/25 until 1/5....lets get together & do some fishing & talking.....

Derrick

Hawg Caller · 12-23-2003, 11:41 PM

Derrick,
Im ready to hit the water again...I'll give you a call soon.
Rick.

kayakfisher · 01-02-2004, 12:20 AM

HC...I am very sorry for what you are going through at this time. In time, when you slowly reach that zone, your forgiving and being able to let go of your hurt and your anger, you will be freeing yourself to enjoy your own life as you should. You can do it...as so many other have.

Good luck...

Pete, I knew a veterinarian whose jogging daughter was killed by a drunk driver years ago, and at the funeral he offerred the same hopes your boss had for the offender. He spoke at the funeral of his daughter's great persona and how much she meant to him and his family...and then expressed how much he wanted everyone in their heart to forgive the person who took her, and how he hoped that person could learn to beat his alcohol habbit, and live in such a way that he could earn leniency from the courts...so that at least one family could be spared them misery he was going through. It was the most inspirational humane act I have ever experienced, and I admire that man a great deal to this day, although I have not seen him in years. I also know how much his letting go of his anger helped him.

HC, you can do it. My best wishes for you at this time.

M.

bucketmouth · 01-10-2004, 07:16 PM

It is easier to hate than to forgive. But forgivness is much more powerful.