Foregiveness

Jennie@ifish · 11-20-2003, 05:41 PM

I have been working so hard trying to forgive someone, but I keep having to forgive, over and over. Just when I think that I am over it, I reel hurt again.

I have tried to avoid the whole situation, but it always seems to find me. Will it ever stop? :depressed:

I Read this article and it really helped.

Read it and tell me your thoughts on it, OK?

Jen

letsfish · 11-20-2003, 06:15 PM

Good article,sound and challenging. Unfortunately, it is a big topic and some areas could have been given more "air time" but the author had a goal and could only address so much with limited space.
Good luck on your personal struggle in this area, I'll pray that it will all come together.

Chukrchaser · 11-20-2003, 06:40 PM

HMMM, sure there could be some more air time on some points -- there could be about a dozen or so messages taken from with in this article...

But as it stands I have to agree with what it has to say. Recurring issues with forgiveness -- or any other part in our Christian walk is something that happens to most of us. We are still human, we are, as yet, imperfect.

I remember one message from awhile ago -- The pastor spoke about carrying baggage, and how we are to leave it on the altar ( our church has prayer time at the altar every service). He then pointed out that, in his time as a pastor, what he often saw was people brining their troubles to the Lord -- praying for release -- then picking those troubles back up when they went back to the pew. His advice and that of the article is very real -- and very difficult at times -- Yield yourself -- trust in the grace that God has promised us -- it will suffice.

pathetic novice · 11-20-2003, 07:26 PM

I was taught that to forgive someone that I should pray for them daily for 2 weeks; pray for their peace, happiness, well-being etc.. Even if I didn't mean it, just do it anyway, eventually I would mean it. Not saying I do it every time, but when I have done it, it seems to work, although it took longer than 2 weeks on some people, and there's one guy I still pray for months later. Doesn't mean I have to like them, trust them, or want to hang out with them; it means that when I see them, I'm not eaten alive by rage, jealousy, hatred, vengeance and sick stuff like that. It means that I'm done giving a piece of my soul to that loathing and hate, and leaving those people in God's hands. He's more qualified to deal with their defects than I am! Of course, now that I've said that, you folks can remind me of it when I'm on here complaining about something; guarantee it'll happen sooner or later... Hang in there Jennie; you are certainly a blessing and an inspiration to a huge pack of folks!!!!

happybrew · 11-20-2003, 11:45 PM

Forgiveness is a decision. It is one that requires the head, sometimes against the inclinations of the heart. When the heart does not feel what the head wants it to feel, sometimes, we think that we haven't made that decision, when we have. Many times it takes the heart quite a while to catch up with the head. Persevere. Pathetic Novice isn't so pathetic or such a novice on this one. If your actions, even if your heart doesn't want to do them, follow your head, you're on the right path. It may take weeks, or years, or possibly even decades for your heart to catch up (hopefully not that long), but as long as you're making the decision to forgive, and following that up with action, you're okay.

happybrew

Grantspastor · 11-21-2003, 07:08 AM

Good article! One common theme that I encounter repeatedly in pastoring is the idea of "forgive and forget". As Happybrew has already said, forgiveness is a decision not to dwell on it and not to bring it up again and again. As far as "forgetting"...I don't know of anything that can make you forget the pain you were dealt...short of amnesia.

The Bible instructs us to "forgive as God forgives us". Question: Does God forget once He forgives? Answer: No. He just chooses not to bring it up and hold it against us. When king David sinned and SOUGHT forgiveness (a Key)...God forgave him, yet hundreds of years later He mentioned the event through one of the prophets. This shows He didn't forget. You can't forget as an act of your will. Only time and the comforting ministry of the Holy Spirit can help you to forget.

The last point I'll mention is that it is really incumbent on the one who caused the offense to SEEK forgiveness. We have no option but to forgive when this happens. I deal with people who use the fact that the other person has never sought forgiveness as justification to withold it. My feeling is it's better to just do it and travel on. The person who caused the pain may never seek forgiveness. All we have is the future to live for Jesus. The past is done and gone. Somebody said once "you can't live for the future if you're tied to the past on a long rubber band" The farther you get away from it...the harder it pulls you back.

Joseph is a beautiful example of forgiveness. He was betrayed and sold into slaverly by his brothers. He was falsely accused and imprisoned by Potiphar's wife in Egypt. He could have exacted terrible revenge from his eventual position of power in government, but he didn't. The key to his strength is revealed in the names of his children. Ephraim and Manasseh...mean something like "the Lord delivers" and "causes to forget". I can just picture him holding that newbon son...looking into his face and saying "this causes me to forget" all that was done to me with evil intent. God has turned it around for good.

DAB · 11-21-2003, 05:03 PM

Jen.
I don't have any thing to add to what has all ready been posted, But I will pray for you.
DAB

Jennie@ifish · 11-21-2003, 06:28 PM

When I was attempting to forgive the woman that my husband left with, (now THIS is funny!) I tried so hard to forgive her. The only way I finally ended up succeeding, is when I took a shower, I would shampoo my hair really hard while praying for her. I think I about went bald!

It's funny. My Dad was SO mad at some tennants one time that wouldn't move out of his house that he said, "I know I'm supposed to pray for them, and about the situation. But, every time I try, bad words want to come out, and I know he wouldn't like that!"

I can relate, sometimes!

Jen

FM2 · 11-21-2003, 07:40 PM

Deep hurt is tough to overcome and comes down to choices. When something comes back to make you think about a sensitive situation there may be other forces at work trying to pull you away from what you believe in your heart. Whenever something from my past comes back to me, things like losing my beautiful NW Jet boat and my home I know this is an attack on me spiritually trying to get me to feel sorry for myself and there was something I could have done to prevent these tremendous losses. But I have learned in my walk with Christ that these are the devious and planned attacks on me to sway my heart into thinking more about worldly pleasures instead of heavenly pleasures. I struggled for a long time after losing so much but because of this my faith has reached deeper levels I never knew. So whenever something from my past surfaces I have learned to quickly dismiss this as an attack and feel much better knowing I will dwell in God's joy and not my own sorrow!

kingofbacklash · 11-22-2003, 08:00 PM

Jennie,
Answer to your question, my $.02 worth. I was unable to read the whole subject matter. Anyway I tried because you asked.
From my way of thinking Forgiveness is something we choose to do with our free will. God is Absolute, unqiue and eternal. Jesus too is absolute, unqiue and eternal. They are our True teachers of Love & forgiveness.
This is the hardest one for me to get right in my daily walk with them. Love your enemies. I've got to tell you it's always much easier to want the worst things to happen to my enemies, and I realize it's because of my fallen nature that I want that to happen. Yet I know I should love them. But still it's so hard to love my enemies. But for me through prayer I've found that our Heavenly Father and Jesus our Lord and Saviour have taught us the true lesson of love for our enemies as well as forgiveness. For surely we are all related to each other as brothers and sisters under the one True Heavenly Parent. To me this is the greatest blessing opportunity and not only for myself but for my enemy. If I can sincerly pray Forgiveness and blessing for my brother or sister to be lifted higher then myself towards Heavenly Father eternally. Whats life all about anyway but to learn to love all of God's creation. We are not machines that can automatically achieve our goal. Rather we are men and women who have free will to do good or to do evil. Truly choosing to forgive someone is a real event that takes place in the invisible realm of the heart. Our mind meaning our concience will always tell us the truth. That is the dwelling place of God. God is the Way, the Truth and the Life. When we choose an act of kindness towards others our consience is uplifted and we have an internal and invisible good feeling come over us. This is something that really happens yet it is invisible. The act of forgiveness is invisible too. Through prayer it is very real in the realm of God's true love. Here's the key Jennie that I have found to be true. When I pray for their forgiveness because I know I should and my heart is not sincere about my prayer, well then I usually get the same result as my effort. So being I realize that the Spiritual world is real and eternal. I start my prayer by repenting for any sin's through out history, asking Heavenly Father to forgive all the sins that my ancestors and myself may have committed against the person i'm praying forgiveness for. And that Heavenly Father will bless all of their lives eternally as well as there decendants to come forever and ever. What is bound on earth is bound in Heaven, What is loosed on earth is loosed in Heaven. Jennie you may not see results here on earth as the person you are asking forgiveness for also has free will and may choose not show their true feelings to you. But you will reap what you sow, and as it is writen ask and you shall receive. Have Absolute Faith.
God Bless

fearsnofish

duckcall · 11-22-2003, 08:25 PM

Forgiveness is tough if we think of it in earthly terms. It is easier for me to understand if I visualize my Savior on the cross and His statement "Forgive them ...............". Once we loose focus on Him, we get back into our own little pitty parties. Sometimes it is best to focus and refocus and then focus and refocus....., and them remember "The Cross".

hankstr · 11-22-2003, 08:36 PM

Hey Jen I read the article and that is so true .
I have been wronged by people recently and in the past and you just want to strangle them [img]graemlins/icon_argue.gif[/img] i then am reminded by the Holy Spirit that we need to love our neighbor and forgive them 70x7. thats hard in our own flesh but through Christ all thing are possible. Good article

Hook a big one Hankstr :grin:

hankstr · 11-22-2003, 08:41 PM

I agree with duckcall we need to always remember the Cross when Christ said "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do" and then He gave His life to forgive the sins of the very people who put Him on the cross. Such love,such wondrous love Amen Hankstr [img]graemlins/hearton.gif[/img]