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Old 07-10-2006, 10:03 AM   #1
Meister Jaeger
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Default Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

While this isn't necessarily hunting related, I figured many of you would appreciate the humor nonetheless. It all seems pretty harmless to me, yet I apologize in advance to those who think otherwise and choose to take offense.

I'd seen these circulated a couple years back, but they're still just as funny now as then. Hope you enjoy!

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" - from the female perspective.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note…these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1 . If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin i s also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as decoy placement, Aqua Pods vs. Marshrats, or migration patterns.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Old 07-10-2006, 11:22 AM   #2
Swamp Puppy
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

HAHA!!!!
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Old 07-10-2006, 11:43 AM   #3
Limbhanger
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

How could anyone take offense to the honest to god truth.
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Old 07-10-2006, 12:10 PM   #4
Buckhuntraj
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

I LOVE IT!
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Old 07-10-2006, 01:28 PM   #5
Headhunter
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

That was a riot! Ohhh so true!
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Old 07-10-2006, 01:44 PM   #6
in 'em
 
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

My wife needs to read this one for sure!!!
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Old 07-12-2006, 07:09 PM   #7
younggun20
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time! Cody
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Old 07-13-2006, 07:08 AM   #8
beardbuster
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

Now I see what I was doing wrong.
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Old 07-16-2006, 07:41 AM   #9
Fishstix
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Default Re: Humor: \'The Rules\' - from the male perspective

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