Steve, not to be anal retentive, but there were some grammatical errors in your first letter, and this is how an English teacher would correct them. Remember these politicians have like degrees in law, minors in English, etc. so rhetoric is important to them. This is how I would change the letter.
I brought my letter back to the top for review in conjunction with Senator Smith's reply letter. .... I will also bring up a shorter example for those that haven't taken time to write; and the 3 most important Congressmen to send them to for Oregonians (there are many more listed on a link Jen put up on the Ifish mainpage - and you can just send copies of one letter to many of them). My letter:
November 2000
(Congressman):<--forget Dear
A large part of why many Oregonians choose to live in the Northwest is the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors fishing for salmon. As the Moderator of the Northwest's most well read fishing website bulletin board, at
www.ifish.net , I know this to be true. And I know they are more than just upset with salmon allocation issues.
You are also aware of the Federal takeover of N.W. regional fishery decisions from the N.W. States by the Federal Government and turned over to the National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS). Undoubtedly, they have a tough job to do. However, many thousands of regional sportfishers are fed up with the unfair unbalanced sacrifices that are being forced upon us by the NMFS. I know this by reading all of the northwest fishing website discussion boards accessed by thousands of fishermen and outdoor enthusiasts alike.
^ (notice how I kinda changed the verbage to make the sacrifices in the present form as stating those sacrificies are still going on)
This is most exemplified by the astonishingly unfair fall and spring Chinook salmon allocation mandates on the mainstem Columbia River by the NMFS on behalf of the Columbia Inter-Tribal Fisheries Commission. Under the recommendations of regional fish biologists, NMFS restricted non-dam impacts on native (non-hatchery) Chinook salmon last spring, this fall, and again next spring at a 9% impact on ESA protected Chinooks. Of this 9%, 8.5% is given to the Col. Treaty Indians for primary gillnet and ceremonial dipnet seasons, while 0.5% is given to non-Indian commercial gillnetters and sportfishers combined!
N.W. sportsmen pay more than our fair share for hatchery propegated salmon through federal and state taxes, taxes on sporting goods purchases, and fishing license fees. We greatly contribute to the region's economy via purchases of expensive fishing equipment, boats with trailers, trucks to pull these boats, tackle, bait, gas, food, charter and guide's fees, and lodging. Yet, we are to accept a paltry 0.5% of the ESA impact compared to the 8.5% ESA impact to the Col. Tribal fishers? No, and we will not.
A reminder; in 1974 Federal Courts reviewed the 1968 Fed. Judge Belloni interpretations of Treaties with the Columbia Region Native Americans. The interpretation upheld that there would be an equal split of fish deemed harvestable between Treaty Indians and non-Indians. Furthermore, it was directed that if one of the two groups got a larger harvest of these runs in a calendar year that the other group would be allowed a larger harvest the following year. In no fathomable way are these allocation decisions by the NMFS, pressured upon by the Col. Tribal Comm., anywhere close to the Treaty rulings, or fairness.
From reliable sources (verifiable), this great discrepancy was born out of idealism sympathetic to the Indian's loss of fish caused primarily by the Columbia and Snake River dams. This manifested from within the Dept. of the Interior and mandated to the NMFS by Dept. Secretarial order No. 3206, which essentially states that the Treaty Tribes will be the last user group to lose harvest potential due to ESA impact guidelines set forth by the NMFS. This is NOT right! It not only likely illegally overides the Fed. Court Treaty interpretations, but does not ethically take into account that most of today's sportfishers have had no more to do with building dams with insufficient fish passage than the Indians; that the Indians use electric power from these dams! They are also compensated in many other ways, including, but not limited to, very profitable gambling casinos which ironically use a lot of electricity generated by those dams.
This situation is extremely unjust that the N.W. States have filed a lawsit against the NMFS and Col. Tribal Comm. However, several legal experts say the States/sportsmen are not likely to get near a fair settlement out of this action due to much stronger representation for the NMFS/Col. Tribes.
We are asking you to investigate this matter and try to reverse the unfair and illegal mandate brought down by Secretarial order No. 3206. Send a clear message to the NMFS upper management that a fair settlement to this dispute must be reached! By all measure of legallity and fairness, sportsmen should get our rightful 50% share of the 9% ESA impact on Columbia R. salmon. Trying to restrict us to anywhere near an 0.5% ESA impact to share with commercial gillnetters is unacceptable. This is the case regardless of the size of the runs(<--are you talking about diahhrea?). Please note that next spring's run (<---marathon?) is predicted to be well over 300,000 spring chinook. With half this many fish last spring, there was a terrible, high volume waste of hatchery fish so that the Indians could have their over-impact on ESA protected native fish. Since we recently found out that these decisions will be made in the weeks to come, rather than just before next spring, we respectfully request this letter receive the attention it deserves rightfully.
Furthermore, please keep in mind that Indian gillnets (in which they harvest a vast majority of their fish; to sell) are indescriminate killers of the ESA native fish, while sportfishers can fish selectively by releasing unclipped native fish, which ODFW studies prove will allow over a 90% survival rate for those fish to go on and spawn successfully! We only take hatchery fish that often go to waste in these situations.
Importantly, there is a growing groundswell of major discontent from the hundreds of thousands of N.W. sportsmen, gaining more strength via the power of internet communication, that will be placing their future votes for Congressmen and other politicians who fairly and strongly represent our rights!
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Steve Hanson
See how your letter sounds now....remember you are a Moderator and fisherman, so sound like one...like a normal person, not a law professor by using words like expeditously or however you spell it...you don't want to be a mockery eh? Just read the revision and see the verbage and how it reads smoothly now and notice the points made. Just being a kind critic Steve, and Myself, Alabama, And all of the NW fisherpeople thank you for all your efforts.....even though you smell like a yettie.
Letter to Congressman (Col. R. Allocation)
, even though it wasn't readily noticable. I think "Dear" is still acceptable for business communication, but I'm open for alternative suggestions. I didn't really notice a discernable difference in your paragraph 1 & 2 corrections. What am I not seeing? And I think Mr. Smith likely figured out para 8 easily, although I do think the "Unfair Pair" have given a lot of people diahhrea (sp? - how did you figure out how to spell that 'Yall? The morning after Pepto Bismal instructions?). .... I sure appreciate your time on this. And I'm sure you must certainly have first put time into the more important task of writing your own letter and sending copies to your Washington Congressmen. So, will you put up here a copy of what you sent 'Yall. We will be proud and appreciative of your efforts you put into your own significant letter, prior to puttin the English teacher touch on mine. Looking forward to seeing yours here. Thanks much. - RT -- P.S. If you hurry 'Yall and whip one out real quick and post it here fast you can avoid the scathing embarrassment of having taken the time to correct someone's letter and not have taken the time to actually more importantly written one yourself and sent it to your Congressmen. 
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