Funny

[Crusty]

I got back from China and this was waiting for me sent by a fishing partner in Australia. Pretty funny.

Crusty (Who doesn't get even, he gets odder.)


NOTICE TO AMERICANS OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> FROM THE GOVERNMENT OF HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II
>
> To the citizens of the United States of America: In the
> light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and
> thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
> revocation of your independence, effective today.
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
> monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
> territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
>
> Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the
> 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is
> a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for
> America without the need for further elections. Congress and
> the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
> circulated next year to determine whether any of you
> noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
> following rules are introduced with immediate effect
>
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
> Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the
> pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly
> you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
> your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
> Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler
> noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
> inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed".
>
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let
> Microsoft know on your behalf.
>
> 3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.
>
> 4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God
> Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.
> We would not want you to get confused and give up half way
> through.
>
> 5. You should stop playing American "football". There is
> only one kind of football. What you refer to as American
> "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are
> aware that there is a world outside your borders may have
> noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will
> no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play
> proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played
> with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave
> enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is
> similar to American "football", but does not involve
> stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full
> kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get
> together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
>
> 6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and
> instead call it the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship"
>
> 7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney
> pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with
> customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.
>
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will
> be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be
> called "Indecisive Day".
>
> 9. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars
> to effect the change immediately.
>
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us
> crazy.

11. Please remember that when you meet the Queen you only go down on
one knee!

[ZaQ]

Your back! I have been waiting to hear from you. Spey casting anyone? I anxiously await the video we talked about! Welcome back!

------------------
Got any eggs?
ZaQ

Hey glad your back John. I was getting concerned that a post would pop about the Florida vote recounts, and I said I would uphold your Rep. positions for you. Fortunately none did, so I didn't have to explain why the Bush crew is trying to stop the recounts and the lawsuit about the 19,000 screwy ballots ol' Jeb coaxed that county into, where voters were confused into unwittingly voting for Buccanon. . Welcome back. - Steve

[WaterDog]

Hey crusty,
Were you on a vacation of did you go with a few other folks from different local municipalites?

[Crusty]

Waterdog,

Vacation. Although since I now only work part time and then only when I want to, I'm not sure if the term applies.

It was a wonderful trip although I tried to find a tackle store in both Beijing and Shanghei and struck out. I did see some folks fishing in some of the offshoots of the Great Canal which runs from Shanghei to Beijing but they wouldn't stop the tour bus. It looked to me like they were using a bamboo pole about 16 feet long with no reel. I would have loved to sat there with my pole in a forked stick for a day or two.

By the way: eleven days - The Great Wall, Forbidden City, Summer Palace, Souzou, Xian (Terra Cotta Warriors) as well as Beijing and Shanghei; English speaking guides, 5 star hotels, and every meal a banquet - $1600 including airfare from PDX. What a deal!

RT, What did you mean about Florida? I've been out of the country. :-)

Crusty (Who plans on living forever. So far, so good.)

[Ray Wilcken]

Speaking about Shanghei, that's just what Gore is trying to do with the election! Watch the Gangster movie from 1937 about an election in Chicago. Edward G. Robinson says the famous line "We're gonna count em and count em and count em till we get it right"!

[WaterDog]

Sounds like you had a good time. The super from our treatment plant was in china for 2 weeks and just returned about the same time as you. It was one of of those knowledge, techno, info exchange programs thingys with some of the local gonvernments. Thought you may have been involved. Thanks.