Cute words of wisdom for Friday

[fishbait]

13 Reasons to Smile
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get
into my own pants.


Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.


How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"


I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed
up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk."


Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!


Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.


Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English,
thank a soldier !!"



I don't know about you, but I sure got a chuckle out of these,
and I'll bet your friends will too!!
AND

I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the
end, the faster it goes.

[scubadad]

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference.

Sounds like pretty good advice to me

[Wolf EEL]

Ya I enjoyed it.