Help!

[Chacal]

I have been on this board for roughly two years now and there are some life-changing events going on in my life.

You see, after eight years of marriage, my wife and I are going to have a kid. We have been in negotiations about having a child, and well, it just sort of happened before we had an agreement in place. [img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

So, now the topic of discussion in my household is how we are going to "afford" a child, when we both have our hobbies, toys and expenditures.

This is the part of the story where we get to the boat. Now, I have had some great times on my boat, but lately I haven't been using it. (I know, I know).

Football season just wrapped up and I don't like to eat sturgeon and it's been cold and I suck at fishing. So I haven't gone and played video games or watched football or messed around the house (which is what put me into this situation [img]graemlins/eek13.gif[/img] ).

The boat is in her sights. She looks at the moorage, the boat payment, the gas, the maintenance, the food and the time away from home and it's ripe for the picking.

She knows that if I keep the boat I have (22.5' Sea Ray Cuddy) I will need a truck to pull it to at some point, thus costing us more money. To her, it's the best way to make a few hundred bucks a month available for diapers and baby clothes (and probably a college education and designer jeans when its a teenager).

My argument so far has been: But having a boat is a great way to spend family time! Three generations of ClownMouth, Chacal and...um...Little ClownMouth skunking all day on the Columbia would create countless memories!!!

I am not so sure she is buying it.

My request to you guys is this....

How am I going to convince her to keep the boat? Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Help!

Oh, and do you think "Springer" would be too weird of a name for a boy?

Chacal
(who has created another little fisherman who will pay for a license and never put anything on his/her tag. You're welcome)

[Lepper]

Start using it more!!
show her how much you love it..

[SilverFly]

It’s OVER, just sell the boat and tackle! Then resign yourself to a life of little sleep, changing diapers, mixing formula, the constant smell of spitup on your shoulder, and pediatrician appointments on the few days you THOUGHT you might go fishing! Oh yeah, and as for the cause of " it just sort of happened " that’s history too! (just kidding, - well mostly.)

OK, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but we had our two kids in less than 2 years (proof that the “cause” of children does not stop) so those early years are pretty much a blur. Actually I would stick with the argument that the boat is a vehicle for family bonding when babies become “kids.” But if you THINK there might be a financial issue with the boat now, - trust me, there WILL be once you have kids. Depending on what type of fishing you do now I would consider maybe downsizing to a more versatile fishing/family boat that sits in a trailer instead of a slip. Think about what kind of fishing you might want to be doing as a family (trout/panfish, sturgeon, crabbing, etc…) because a 22’ Sea Ray sounds like a lot more boat than you need for most NW fishing situations unless you’re into offshore stuff.

Good luck with the negotiations and congrats on your impending parenthood. It will all be worth it the first time you hear “Daddy! I got one!!!”

[glowball]

Any other habits or hobbies you can quit or cut back on instead of boating? Thats where I would start. Are you strapped now? If not you'll be fine. I would tell her there is no reason to get rid of the boat until you get to where you can't afford to live. Explain to her that you won't let her or your new child go hungry before you would sell the boat. If you sell it now its going to be real hard to convince her later that you need another.

I had my first child at 19 and things were tight, but good friends and family made things a lot easier. You'll be fine.(as long as you get to keep the boat) :smile:

Good luck

Oh yeah congratulations on your first kid.

Kris

[ZaQ]

NDPat, I love reading your posts, they are very entertaining. I was with you all the way up to the part of "little Clownmouth". Now I won't be able to sleep for like a week or something. Thanks alot bub............. [img]graemlins/berry.gif[/img]

Good luck with the boat retention.

[tag-a-long]

Just give me the boat, and you can bring the family along to visit it any time :grin:


I feel for ya brother!

[SHOUGALNITE]

I have one for you. Sell the boat and take your beating like a man, but out of that money when you sell your boat invest 5gs in a nice drift boat. If you don't like sturgeon fishing then pick up steelheading if you have to have a boat.

[stevo]

I would recommend going one further than shougalnite, sell the big boat and retain 5g or so and get a DB with a kicker. You will still be able to fish sturgeon in the Willy as well as good weather days on the columbia, plus being able to drift the little rivers. Much less expensive and can pull with a mini-van (read baby-wagon!) Good luck, don't give up having a boat.

[reeldick]

She's pregnant, she's carrying the baby!
Sell the boat and get used to saying "Yes Dear."

[ZaQ]

Yeah Patrick, buy another drift boat with Clownmouth. We can have mini floatillas all our own.
I say sell Rarin to go, and in 5 years go buy yourself a nice NorthRiver jet boat. FTH!

Congrats on the kid!

[greenbuttskunk]

well, I've got a 6 month old now and told my wife
that I needed a bigger boat so when wyatt is a little older he'd be safer in this than the old 16 footer. She bought it and the 19' is now in the driveway. I don't have payments on it so it won't effect us financially. To be truthful, if a payment is involved or it may impact your family financially when the baby comes, I'd say sell. It's going to be a source of stress and resentment and not all all worth it. You'll find that the little kid is more important that stuff
that can create problems. At least I hope you do.
Mine sure is.
Give it a few years and then get back into it when family recreation is more realistic. Keep the other hobbies and find a good balance between daddyhood and playing. It's all about balance big guy.
Congrats on the kid, hope the pregancy goes smooth
and you make the transition without going too nuts. If you sell the boat let me know and I'd be happy to invite you out in mine sometime.
good luck on the decision.
GBS

[Snapset]

Babies can be expensive, but they don't have to be. The bigger demand they create is for your time. The more time you spend with your child, the happier you will be both now and in the future. If you want to fish with your new child, in my opinion it is easier to do a family fishing trip with a baby in a boat than from the bank. (Think floating playpen). The bigger boat is better from the standpoint of having a covered area for the baby to lay down for a nap. I don't know your finances, but I would not get rid of the boat to save money for the baby. However, if the boat is going to take time from your family, that is a legitimate reason to get rid of it.

[Degner]

I would give her two options;

1. "Let" you keep the boat
2. Become a single mom

A third option could be sell the kid to science and upgrade the boat.

[Cool Texan]

I have a kid coming in 7-8 weeks...but dont have a boat. However, I have my wife convinced that the boat will be great to have once our child is here...for family outings, and also for sanity breaks for me to go fishing. Problem is, we also want to upsize our house in a couple of years...so we're saving our $$ for that.

I'd think its easier to keep what you have in your situation than it is to get permission to go acquire it. However, as mentioned already, with the kid coming you dont want to be boat-poor.

Good luck, and congrats on the kid.

[TheRogue]

Keep it for now. Now isn't the best time to sell a boat, that would be spring-early summer when people are really getting the itch. And, by then, things may have changed, maybe have won the lottery, who knows

Kids are expensive as you make them (or let your wife make them :grin: :grin: )

TR

[BigFishFever]

Drift boat sounds like a good deal, however how about a less expensive older boat..might not be the most luxurious boat on the water, but hey its all fishin!

Take care and enjoy the little one! They are truly wonderful! And the late nights, lack of sleep goes by quick!

[jokester]

OOOOO...Tough call Chacal. Seeing as i'm neither married, nor have a boat, i'm in no place to give my advice, but I'll just say that I hope everything works out the way it needs to and the wife gives in :grin:

-jokester

[Private-Aye-Fish]

Both my teenagers grew up on a boat. I remember the little guys sleeping under jury rigged towels to get out of the sun, the little accidents when they were crawling around without there diapers. Catching their first fish. Mitch was a trout at Detroit Lake, Zak it was a Kokanee at Lake Billy Chinook. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

I can honestly say we have more pictures in our albums of us as a family on the boat than off.

She did make me sell the Harley. It really wasn't any good for fishing. :smile:

[Airborne]

Keep the boat=unhappy household [img]graemlins/icon_argue.gif[/img]
Sell the boat=happy wife=happy life
with all the guys on here that have boats and have to fish alone there will be plenty of non bank fishing available to you. and if you sell the boat just think of all the extra toys you could get

[FishinMission]

sell the boat, but only under the condition you can get a bigger, better one...in say...5-6 years.

[FishinMission]

Sell the boat...with one stipulation...and that is you get a bigger, better one when the time is right.

Mark

[Chacal]

Yeah, I think I am going to float (hey, a pun!) the idea of selling the big boat and getting a smaller one. Maybe a 17' alumaweld or predator or something. Then no slip payment and I can pull it wherever I want.

I am just afraid that once the boat is gone, I won't get it back.

I am giving up a number of other hobbies to support the keep the boat drive, and believe me, if you know my wife, it's in my best interest to keep her happy (she knows karate).

Anyway, thanks for all the advice. The big argument for keeping it then is the memories and how fishing is a great way to relax.

Never been bank fishing...so I don't know much about that option.

Again, thanks guys. I will keep y'all up to date on the boat situation.

Heck, I read that thread about guide trips versus boat ownership...who knows...David Johnson could become my best friend...

Oh, wife wants cantelop and ice cream again...off to the store.

Chacal

[Chacal]

Yeah, I think I am going to float (hey, a pun!) the idea of selling the big boat and getting a smaller one. Maybe a 17' alumaweld or predator or something. Then no slip payment and I can pull it wherever I want.

I am just afraid that once the boat is gone, I won't get it back.

I am giving up a number of other hobbies to support the keep the boat drive, and believe me, if you know my wife, it's in my best interest to keep her happy (she knows karate).

Anyway, thanks for all the advice. The big argument for keeping it then is the memories and how fishing is a great way to relax.

Never been bank fishing...so I don't know much about that option.

Again, thanks guys. I will keep y'all up to date on the boat situation.

Heck, I read that thread about guide trips versus boat ownership...who knows...David Johnson could become my best friend...

Oh, wife wants cantelop and ice cream again...off to the store.

Chacal

[Jignfloat]

Only if I "had to" as a last resort......I would consider compromise, but never a total cave in. I've raised my three kids, and can tell you, there will be much "cave in" in your future.....You already have the boat, so maybe streamline your finances as stated above by selling the big and reboating with something a little more economical for a growing family. A mans got to have his sanctuaries.....boat, camper, fishin camp, huntin camp.....10 graphite rods, 4 bows, accessories you have actually forgotten about they're burried so deep in your other necessities.....GPS, range finder,backup reels for every rod, radios, countless knives,packs,boots,camo,gortex this and gortex that......oh ya, and 6 over flowing tackle boxes. I feel for ya bro. Russ

[ZaQ]

Patrick, I am sure Bobby and Chris would be more than happy to take you every time they go!!!

[2slow]

Sell the boat. You wont have time for it anyway. Enjoy your kid, it will be gone all to soon and you will have time to fish again. I am just starting to fish again after a 10-15 year leave of absence and I am rather blue that my kids are all but out the door. The years went by too quickly with the kids and they are leaving. The fish will still be there when your kids are gone.

[Mrdorkfish]

(not reading anything after your post) Sell, downsize...You can have both :smile: The best thing is you're gonna be a Dad. Hope things work out !!

Mrdorkfish [img]graemlins/dork.gif[/img]

Some guy named Louis

[EastCreek]

Didn't think i'd post on the main board just yet, but this hits home. Sell the boat. Buy a drift boat w/ motor...wife's happy, money to work with, no reason you can't catch fish (hey, some sacrifice is part of the deal), less gas, no moorage, (get aluminum and beat the heck out of it....no worries!)

All I can say is, if you haven't been using it lately and your wife isn't a regular boating and fishing enthusiast, try selling the boating proposition to her with and a 2,4, 10, month old.

Talk of hobbies, toys and expenditures...dude, that kid of yours will suprise you in a positive way.

My thought are to adjust now...raise my kids, fish while I can (teach them and have a wife that supports the whole thing, then buy the boat you had / want when the kiddos can safely join you.

Yes, I have thought about this. I have a 7 month old girl and we are due again Sept. 10th. By the way, congratulations...you should feel lucky. Very cool!


To each their own.... later...

[ET]

Face the facts... If you aren't using it much now, you certainly won't use it much for the first few years the little one is crawling around.

Seeing that the boat will not be used much for the next three, four, five years....does it make financial sense to keep it? Wouldn't someone else get more enjoyment out of it?

Sell it, pocket the money and go on guided trips now and then. A couple hundred bucks for a guided trip now and then is a bargain and you always learn a lot about fishing. Having a boat that you use sporadically teaches you how to take care of a boat, not how to fish.

Five - ten years from now when the kids are ready, buy another boat and then make the time to enjoy it.

[Navigator]

Congratulations Chacal!

When I moved to Oregon I had a 2-year old and my wife was 8 months pregnant. We towed a small boat I had since college. It served more as a trailer for hauling stuff when moving than a boat. I sold it. My 2-year old said something like "boat gone - sad". The only reason she noticed is because it wasn't in the backyard anymore. I really have no regrets.

I am happy to show you the life of a bank fisherman.

Enjoy.

[salmonidstalker]

i say go with the drift boat idea ..if it comes to that i have a 7 month old and there for awhile trips were not as frequent as one might hope for but now that she is crawling and babbling the trips have been every weekend pretty much ..
congratulations !!!!

[Billy Tillamook]

The golden rule prevails... Do the right thing, when the time comes you just honor what you know is right in your heart! Hopefully the boat stays but if it strains the relationship and the pocket book...well theres always another boat! Besides if it does come to that she'll remember the sacrafice and perhaps an even nicer boat is in the future for you! Best wishes...

[Silver Eagle]

It looks grime, but look at it from her point, and it would be your mistake if this is the point, did she enjoy the boat with you, you said you both had toys, if this wasn't on HER keep list then your to blame, you should have made her want to keep the boat as much as you do, My wife loved the boat we had to bring the kids up in, a 19 foot Seaswirl, she hates my boat now, but I over the kids thing, have raised mine and half the neighborhoods, If you haven't got the boat on her keep list forget it, its gone.........Sorry for your lose, but after the off spring gets older you Have to get another, there is no way to raise a family without a boat..........Ray :smile:

[Tacklebuster]

This is an easy one........

On Valentines Day, take your better half out for the day and do only the things that "she" likes to do. Take her to some places that she likes, open doors, buy flowers, you know the rest. Top the evening off taking her down to your boat and have a nice romantic candle light dinner and end the evening "re newing" your vows. This will make her one happy lady thus protecting your boat under the "sentimental value" clause [img]graemlins/hearton.gif[/img]

I have been married 11 years now and have a daughter. Congrats DAD

[lester]

Sorry to sound insensitive, but I've been trying to get a fellow to sell me his SeaRay cuddy to no avail. Soooo, if you do decide to sell.....

[float2ber]

I can't see that any of this is your problem. Keep the boat and fish whenever you want to.

[First Light Bite]

First congrats on the new child coming they are the most precious thing that will ever happen to you. As far as the boat goes I guess it all depends on what you really think is important to you, and your financial situation. If its going to be a strain on the finances you know what you must do ....sell. Kids grow up there will be plenty of time for boats and toys later. Keep in mind there are plenty of posts on ifish for open seats so at least you will be able to fish once in a while. Keep your wife happy.... family is more important than anything you will ever own.