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Old 03-30-2011, 03:29 PM   #61
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thank you for the update.I was wondering how it was going.
Wishing only the best for you and yours.

God bless.

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Old 04-17-2011, 02:08 PM   #62
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

We had an early afternoon birthday party for Mom Friday. She's 89. It was a good day for her. She was very alert and she recognized and named all of us, correctly. We all had a nice time and a nice visit but, after an hour, Mom was already getting tired of the extra stimulation, was getting a little agitated and was ready to go back to her room. But, a great memory for us all. Don
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Old 04-18-2011, 02:52 AM   #63
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doh Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

I sure am glad you all had a great day with your mom ...
Hang in there and bless you all for being there for Her ...
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Old 04-18-2011, 08:30 AM   #64
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear!
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:37 AM   #65
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .


Hang in there Don and Family.
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Old 04-18-2011, 02:36 PM   #66
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

im glad to hear your mom is happy and doing well.
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Old 05-07-2011, 11:55 AM   #67
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Recently, Mom was moved from the secure area of the nursing home and out to the general area - - it's just a little nicer there. The staff in the secure area was really fond of Mom and hated to see her go but she isn't considered a flight risk and they needed the bed in the secure area for a resident who was. Mom doesn't really know the difference and, like I said, the new part of the facility is just a little nicer. She is just as happy as she can be in her situation. She has no real complaints and no pain. She is happy with the food and they continue to keep her clean, well groomed and at peace.

Our Mothers Day this year will be a little unusual - - I'm out of town and my wife has to leave Sunday afternoon so, she and our daughter are doing the Mothers Day-thing this year with her Mom (87), mine (89) and my step-mother ('think she's also 89).

When I was in to see Mom this week, she recognized me and told the aide that I am "my number one son." She usually recognizes me (sometimes she mistakes me for my Dad, though) and gives me a big smile and a "hi".

When I left this time, kissed her and said I'd be back in a few days, something kind of unusual and a little bittersweet happened. She has never done this before. She turned, looked right at me, smiled and said "I'll be here". That was nice and unusual-enough on it's own just because she's never said that to me. But, here's the bittersweet part; when my little brother was battling cancer, every time I would go to leave his bedside and announce I'd be back the next day, Chris would shake my hand, smile and say "I'll be here". Don
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Old 07-30-2011, 05:25 PM   #68
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Mom's still there. Well, sort-of. She's well and in no pain but when I was there this week, she's curled-up in her bed in a tight fetal-position, eyes open but, nobody's home . . . . This stuff is difficult. I guess I wouldn't want her to be alert and in pain. 'Love you Mom! Don
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Old 07-30-2011, 06:14 PM   #69
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don-- We are both in our 80,s but still we pray for the dear ones who are not as healthy as we are,we will pray for "MOM" tonite and wish you the best. This is a wonderful web site to visit other fisherman. God Bless you, Dale And Marilou Gocken, Centralia,Wa.
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Old 07-31-2011, 10:59 AM   #70
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Still prayin
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Old 08-02-2011, 07:27 PM   #71
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Old 08-05-2011, 11:40 AM   #72
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks again, folks.

'Interesting turn of events yesterday and today. Yesterday was Mom's quarterly review with the staff. They were all talking about how great she's doing and how conversive she is. 'Concerned and monitoring her recent weight loss but, all is just gtreat and they love her - - she participates in group stuff and on, and on . . . . 'NOT at all what I've been seeing when I visit!

Well, doubting as I was, they are right. After my doctor's appointment this morning, I stopped-in. She was sitting out in the hall and got a big smile on her face and told me how happy she was to see me - - I was kind-of thinking she didn't really know who I was but, immediately, one of the staff asked "who is that" and, she answered right back, "that's my son". I waited, hoping the staff member would ask her what my name is but, she didn't. So, I asked. She replied right up with "your name is Don". 'Held her hand and had about as much of a conversation as can be expected but, 'really kind-of made my day! So, I'll have to try to drive down there over my lunch hour once or twice a week instead of later in the day, on the way home, as I have been doing.

'Pretty happy guy today!

Don
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Old 08-05-2011, 12:45 PM   #73
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks for a positive update.
A tear and goose bumps are the only other replies I have.I am so happy for her and yours.It is a difficult time.I have been and still am in the same shoes.Only not my mother.


Dont foreget to take her flowers.
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Old 08-05-2011, 06:14 PM   #74
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

I bet you were one happy dude.
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:00 PM   #75
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks, guys. Yes! 'Still a little emotional over actually seeing her. I thought those days were all gone. Don
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:29 PM   #76
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Great news Don! Very glad to hear!
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Old 08-22-2011, 05:03 PM   #77
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

My dad is 89 and will be 90 in dec. He had his third stroke about 5 weeks ago and before this one it took him till noon to button his shirt, but wouldnt accept any help.Now i thought he would never recognise me again, but after visiting several times to walla walla last thursday he looked me in the eye and squezed my hand hard and said mike twice....Very special .I know what you feel Don. He taught me to hunt and fish.........His great grandfather was killed at the battle of kennesaw hill and he was awarded two distinguised flying stars....He said my name
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Old 08-22-2011, 06:17 PM   #78
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks for sharing that, Mike. It really is about the little things - - as difficult as it can to remember sometimes. Don
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Old 08-23-2011, 04:24 PM   #79
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

We had a nice visit this morning with cousins, Lissa from Newberg and April from Illinois, my brother Jon and his wife Rhoda. Mom thought I was Chris but she actually recognized Lissa and then later kept mixing-up Lissa and April. It was nice, though and she was pretty alert, 'clearly enjoyed the visit and it's likely, before we got out the door, the memory was completely gone - - 'just the way it is and it just has to be for the moments . . . . . Don
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Old 08-24-2011, 08:07 AM   #80
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don. I am so Glad for the Happy Updates, I Hope and pray that the Good times will continue.
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Old 10-21-2011, 06:29 PM   #81
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

'Went to her quarterly care assessment conference yesterday. She's pretty stable but pretty-much remembers and knows nobody, except on rare occasions. She recognizes family as being familiar but rarely can she name us. After the meeting, Jon, his wife Rhoda and I visited with Mom some and she was pretty alert for several moments and them kind-of began fading away. It's really hit-n-miss to happen to be there when "she's home". But, gotta appreciate and reflect on those few times. She's still happy, comfortable, clean, loved and in no pain. Thank You! Don
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Old 10-26-2011, 07:40 AM   #82
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Becker View Post
'Went to her quarterly care assessment conference yesterday. She's pretty stable but pretty-much remembers and knows nobody, except on rare occasions. She recognizes family as being familiar but rarely can she name us. After the meeting, Jon, his wife Rhoda and I visited with Mom some and she was pretty alert for several moments and them kind-of began fading away. It's really hit-n-miss to happen to be there when "she's home". But, gotta appreciate and reflect on those few times. She's still happy, comfortable, clean, loved and in no pain. Thank You! Don

Sorry Don. Continued Prayers.....Jim
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Old 11-17-2011, 08:24 PM   #83
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Today's visit was very special. Mom was home. She was pretty intent about reading a newsletter (out loud), sent to her by brother Jon's church. But she was uncommonly alert. She felt fine, no pain and no complaints. Something in that newsletter made her "angry" but, I didn't bring my reading glasses in and couldn't quite make sense out of her explanation - - apparently, there was a story in there about a parrot and something was done to the parrot she wasn't happy about. She wasn't particularly stressed about it - just matter-of-fact.

"Who am I?"
"My son, Don Jr."
"How many children do you have?"
"Four" (correct - well, Chris is deceased)
"What are their names?" "Don Jr, Chris, you and Don Jr." (oh, well ) "Vicki said to say hi."
"Vicki"
"Who is Vicki?"
"She's my daughter-in-law"
"And, my wife."
"And your wife."

She kept obsessively returning to that newsletter and reading it out loud but, it was a very nice visit nonetheless. 'Traded several "I love you's".

Don
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Old 11-26-2011, 11:40 PM   #84
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don, Thank God I checked in tonight. I will certainly pray for your Mom and for you and your loved ones. I pray that your Mom and thank you for the opportunity to pray for her. God bless your Mom and God bless you Don.
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Old 12-11-2011, 11:58 AM   #85
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

'Thanks, Ken and thanks for the PM, too

When I visited Mom last week, I took a booklet of old family photos I had made-up for her. She recognized nearly everyone in the pictures except for my wife, our daughter and one of her aunts. Vicki has almost been like a daughter to her for the nearly 50 years since we first began dating and, Tammy Jo has been a wonderful granddaughter - - so, Mom not recognizing them hurts a little but, it's certainly nothing she can control.

I was surprised (after the past year or so) how much of her long-term memory actually is "in there somewhere" when and if you can bring it out. She does recognize me, she does know I'm her son and she can even tell me my name . . . there were times I know she mistook me for my Dad.

'Very thankful for "where she is" right now; considering everything. The facility couldn't be better, she gets wonderful and loving care and she's in no pain, has no needs that aren't taken care of, isn't really suffering and if you catch her at the right times, she's reasonably alert . . . . 'Love you, Mom!

'Just an update and a thanks for the continuing prayers.

Don
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Old 12-11-2011, 07:32 PM   #86
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

I've been there twice and I will pray that your Mom and you have the best Christmas ever.
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Old 12-15-2011, 07:49 AM   #87
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

I am still praying for your mom. Thanks for the update.
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Old 12-15-2011, 09:33 PM   #88
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Best wishes for the holidays.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:19 AM   #89
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don, I pray for 2012 to be a better year for you and your friends and family, and that your Mom is restored to you better than before. I went through what you are going through with my Mom. She was 93 when the Lord took her. God Bless!

Jim

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Old 02-09-2012, 09:56 AM   #90
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks, again, everyone. Last weekend, when my wife and I stopped-in to visit. Mom was amazing! She saw me coming down the hall, recognized me and called me by name. Then, she saw Vicki coming sort-of behind me and called her by name - - - she hasn't known my wife's correct name for a couple of years. Vicki was moved to tears. Mom knew Vicki's Mom's name and Vicki's Dad's name (we lost him some 27 years ago). 'A real treat for us but, when analyzed, not too tough to figure-out. 'Not that it really makes a lot of difference on a day-to-day basis but, she really has dementia and not really Alzheimer's so, there really is a long-term memory there. The dementia is a result of a cranial bleed and her doctor felt it would not get worse unless Alzheimer's did set-in - - it's just a matter or whether her "condition" and medications, at any given time, allow her or she has the energy to access that memory. It was late morning, she hadn't been up that long and, likely, her medications hadn't had time to kick-in - - - she needs the medications but there are those downsides. Don
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:19 PM   #91
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

My dad died last month after suffering 2 strokes in the last 4 years. Even though he couldnt comunicate well or at all, i miss him a lot
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:49 PM   #92
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Quote:
My dad died last month after suffering 2 strokes in the last 4 years. Even though he couldnt comunicate well or at all, i miss him a lot
Yup! I know. It hurts for a long time. There's a thread on here about the loss of my little brother and one about my Dad. 'Best wishes to you!

On a funny note, yesterday, I dropped-off a check at the nursing facility to have the beautician take care of Mom's hair next week . . . . I was not given a name to put on the check as payee. Based on the information I was given, I was very tempted to make the check payable to the order of: "The Asian lady who is only here every other Tuesday and won't be back after next Tuesday". I resisted the temptation and left it with the charge nurse for the beautician to print-in her own name. Don
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:44 AM   #93
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don, your Mom's moments of clarity are a blessing, and that she is comfortable and well cared for. Mine took 12 years to die of Alzheimer's, and she didn't know my name for about the last five years.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:51 AM   #94
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Prayer's sent you way.
That's a difficult prognosis to deal with emotionally.
God Bless - From The North Fork
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Old 03-29-2012, 11:05 AM   #95
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks, fellas.

I stopped-in over the noon hour Tuesday and was told she's asleep but that she had been up all day Monday. You, she was sound asleep and it was pretty obvious there was no waking her.

Yesterday, on the way home, I stopped - - "Yup, she's awake". Well, I'd say she needed Tuesday's nap ('apparently, she was asleep most of the day)! Mom was sitting in her wheelchair, dressed nicely in the slippers she got for Christmas and is so proud of, slacks and a really nice, purple turtleneck sweater. Mom said she had received a lot of compliments on that sweater. Her hair still looks nice from the permanent I mentioned up above and she was just as happy and conversive as could be.

She knew me. She knew my wife and daughter's names. She seemed to remember getting the permanent. She was aware that, a few days back, my daughter had visited - - she brought her other grandmother with her for that visit. Mom, knew my mother-in-law's name but seemed to think it was my wife who was with our daughter that day - - - - but, 'still pretty-much tracking with things.

She denies being in any pain, doesn't need anything at all and agrees they take very good care of her. We had another really, really good visit.

Don

ADDED: I sent this as an update to family and here is my daughter's reply:

Quote:
Dad,
You can add to your post (or just for yourself) that G'ma was wearing the same (yes, it is *lovely!*) purple sweater on Fri when I visited with Grams. We both complimented her on it then. I can't believe she remembers our visit from last wk and don't begrudge her getting confused about who I was at all. Her hair does look really nice (kudos to Mom for seeing to that) and I oogled over it that day, too. She talked about getting the "temperary" not long ago. She ooh'ed and aah'ed over a ring I was wearing and a new coat Grams had bought me for my b'day -- really quite w/it and even expressing interest in things she liked and thought were pretty. It was a nice visit and I'm glad you got to enjoy one, too!
'Love you,
Scooter
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Old 03-29-2012, 06:20 PM   #96
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

That is Great news Don.
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Old 03-30-2012, 08:08 PM   #97
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don i am so happy to hear she is doing better then before. You are a good man Don.
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Old 04-03-2012, 07:10 AM   #98
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Old 04-08-2012, 05:59 PM   #99
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Don.

Still Ing

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Old 05-01-2012, 06:18 AM   #100
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don I am still praying also. God blessings on you and your mother.
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:52 PM   #101
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

'Guys, something's working! Thanks for all of the good thoughts and prayers. Not to diminish those but, I suspect, medically the fact she has gained-back some weight has helped her metabolize what sometimes amounts to some element of over-medication. At any rate, Mom just seems to get more and more alert. The staff are also aware. You see, she has dementia as a result of an intracranial bleed from years ago . . . no Alzheimer's . . . and, aside from ordinary aging (she's 90 mow) and unless she did develop Alzheimer's, she wasn't supposed to get any worse - - - 'nearly non-existent short-term memory and, on her better days, pretty darned good long-term memory.

Well, the staff is seeing things like this: "Please get me a cup of coffee?" "Sure, Doris." 'Staff person forgets and walks by an hour, two hours later and . . . "You were going to get me a cup of coffee." - - - yes, the same staff member. There are other examples. And, the family is seeing it, too. She WAS NOT supposed to improve. This, right now is about as good as it gets! For her age and condition, she could not be better - - - 'wonderful facility and staff who really do like and care for her, she's kept clean and neat, she has no pain, no needs that aren't taken care of, she now recognizes most of us most of the time and she's happy. These are the special times to remember, now.

Yesterday when I stopped-in, Mom was in the dining room and they were about to serve lunch. She was all the way diagonally-across the dining room from the entry door where I had poked my head in to see if she was there or if I'd be going to her room - - - that's some 25 to 30 yards away - - - one of the staff members was moving between us and partially blocking our view of each other. Mom points to me and right out loud announces "That's my son!" And, as I'm making my way over to sit down beside her, she says it again. Mom doesn't use glasses - - how does she even see that far - much less, recognize someone and not even having a clear view . . . . . 'amazing. As I sat down, she says "I'm sure glad I caught up with you."

'Love you, Mom
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Old 08-20-2012, 04:21 PM   #102
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

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Old 08-21-2012, 06:16 AM   #103
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks for sharing the good news!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Becker View Post
'Guys, something's working! Thanks for all of the good thoughts and prayers. Not to diminish those but, I suspect, medically the fact she has gained-back some weight has helped her metabolize what sometimes amounts to some element of over-medication. At any rate, Mom just seems to get more and more alert. The staff are also aware. You see, she has dementia as a result of an intracranial bleed from years ago . . . no Alzheimer's . . . and, aside from ordinary aging (she's 90 mow) and unless she did develop Alzheimer's, she wasn't supposed to get any worse - - - 'nearly non-existent short-term memory and, on her better days, pretty darned good long-term memory.

Well, the staff is seeing things like this: "Please get me a cup of coffee?" "Sure, Doris." 'Staff person forgets and walks by an hour, two hours later and . . . "You were going to get me a cup of coffee." - - - yes, the same staff member. There are other examples. And, the family is seeing it, too. She WAS NOT supposed to improve. This, right now is about as good as it gets! For her age and condition, she could not be better - - - 'wonderful facility and staff who really do like and care for her, she's kept clean and neat, she has no pain, no needs that aren't taken care of, she now recognizes most of us most of the time and she's happy. These are the special times to remember, now.

Yesterday when I stopped-in, Mom was in the dining room and they were about to serve lunch. She was all the way diagonally-across the dining room from the entry door where I had poked my head in to see if she was there or if I'd be going to her room - - - that's some 25 to 30 yards away - - - one of the staff members was moving between us and partially blocking our view of each other. Mom points to me and right out loud announces "That's my son!" And, as I'm making my way over to sit down beside her, she says it again. Mom doesn't use glasses - - how does she even see that far - much less, recognize someone and not even having a clear view . . . . . 'amazing. As I sat down, she says "I'm sure glad I caught up with you."

'Love you, Mom
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Old 08-22-2012, 04:15 AM   #104
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

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Old 08-25-2012, 06:16 AM   #105
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:17 AM   #106
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Old 12-21-2013, 06:17 PM   #107
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Oops! 'Year and a half since I last updated this thread.

Thank you, everyone, for all of the thoughts, prayers and well wishes since I started this thread more than three years ago. At that time and, a couple of times since, we were pretty convinced her time had come.

Mom passed-away early this afternoon with brother Jon and his wife Rhoda at her bedside. Thanks for being there, Jon & Rho.

Mom went quickly and peacefully - - 'just stopped breathing. We've had a few of "those calls" and, had I left immediately upon receiving this one, I could not have possibly made the hour and a half drive before she was gone.

Before beginning this note, I re-read the entire thread. WOW! 'Lots of memories, highs-n-lows and lots of caring friendship in there - - thanks to those who participated.

Three of the posts, I want to particularly mention (57, 67 and 101) attest to the wonderful, loving care Mom received at Marquis Care at Autumn Hills. They took such good care of her - - management there should be very, very proud of everyone on their staff. Thank you so very much, Autumn Hills!

Since that last update back a year and a half ago, Mom has gone downhill some but there hasn't been a great deal of problem or discomfort for her. I always asked whether she had any pain or if she needed anything. She never had a complaint. She almost always recognized me and knew my name. Her alert-times had become somewhat fewer and she had developed problems associated with the dementia and aspirating food and liquid, frequent suctioning to minimal benefit and the family has been aware this time would come.

'Couple of odd things happened. One on Thursday and another today:

I was there Thursday afternoon for the annual Christmas party. Mom was so sound asleep in her wheelchair that she couldn't be awakened - - I told the staff that if she was that tired, to just let her sleep and I left - - that was the last I saw Mom. Well, on the way in a young man I swear I have never seen before, stopped me in the hall, shook my hand and told me how nice it was to see me again, he patted my shoulder and I walked-on. Let your own personal beliefs and mind wander on that one while I decide whether I am going to return to the facility to ask whether they have anyone on staff, or helping-out that day, who might match his description . . . . . yea, we have a couple of thoughts about who he might have been . . . . . .

Today, Jon received a text message from my mobile phone. I don't text Jon. 'Last I knew, he doesn't like text messages and wants v-mail messages instead. He had called me twice before that today - once to let me know the home had called and one to update me when he and Rho arrived. I hadn't even called him - - up to that point, I had not texted anyone at all today and I've probably never sent Jon a text message (certainly not from this relatively new phone) - - - the message came from my mobile phone number and asked "Did you call?" - - - that text arrived on Jon's phone just as Mom was taking her last breath.

Doris Elaine (Brandaw) Becker, April 15, 1922 - December 21, 2013

I love you, Mom.
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Old 12-21-2013, 06:26 PM   #108
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Prayers for your whole family


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Old 12-22-2013, 05:42 AM   #109
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Praying for the family in their time of loss.
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Old 12-22-2013, 11:54 AM   #110
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don:
Thank you for taking us with you on this journey. You post #67 reminded me of something similar. When my mother was spending her last days at the Mennonite Home in Albany, I was blessed to have lunch with her at least every Tuesday and Friday. When it was time to go back to work, rather than say goodbye, I always said "I will see you Tuesday (or Friday), or I will see you in Heaven". I know that you will see your mother again someday, as I will mine.
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Old 12-22-2013, 07:08 PM   #111
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Sorry to hear about your mom's passing, Don

Prayers for all family and friends

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Old 12-28-2013, 07:05 PM   #112
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Thoughts and prayers I know the feeling lost my dad a couple years ago.
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Old 12-31-2013, 05:58 AM   #113
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Don,

So Sorry to hear that your Mom has passed on.

May the Blessing of our Lord be with you and your family in this time of distress.

Don
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Old 01-01-2014, 01:02 PM   #114
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Thanks, fellas. With the holidays, it was difficult to get the cemetery to move on any arrangements but, we are moving forward now. 'Obituary is done, date set for "inurnment" ceremony, family and friends notified, etc. Don
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Old 01-07-2014, 03:54 AM   #115
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Default Re: Mom could use a few prayers and good thoughts . . . .

Yesterday afternoon, we laid her at rest in a small ceremony with family and friends, as she had wished:

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