Really Struggling with Youth

[Hard Ball]

I've grown up in a Christian home my entire life and I've always had complete faith in God, but lately I've been so far from God. I'm probably in the worse shape spiritually now than I have ever been. Being in college and not having to answer to anyone but myself is tough. I've been dringking every chance I get, partying with girls, and just a bunch of things I know are wrong. The worst part is ever time I do something I know isn't right I can always hear my concience telling me not to, but I ignore it every time. I used to listen to it, but now I almost do things just to spite it. My dad has been getting really involved in our church lately and hes always asking me if I read my Bible today and not only am I saying no, but I'm almost getting mad at him for asking me all the time. It's like I'm intentionally tring to stay away from God and I really dont like it, but everytime I get this attitude that I'm gonna straten out someone always is offering me me weed or some girl calls and tels me she comming over. I cant seem to stay away from anything. I used to lead worship for my church and even preach at youth group on occation and now I feel like im totally lost. Well, I'm going to Alaska for the summer because I got a job guiding up there and I know there wont be anyone there telling me to read my Bible or telling me to be accountable for my actions and I'm afraid that I will never get out of this rut. I could really use some encouraement right now. I dont want to be like this, but it just seems like there is no point at all in tring to chase after God when I know I will just blow it in a week and so I havent tried at all. Thanks
Hard Ball

[AnglersRental]

A few months ago I was having trouble with my faith, I had never felt further form God than at that time.

A very wise person told me "Brad, sometimes you just gotta fake it till you make it - keep praying, go back to church, read, etc... even it it feels useless. You do the legwork and the rest will follow."

At the time I had little enthusiasm for any of it, but that stuck in my mind. And thats just what I did, I faked it to start. I forced myself to pray and go back to church even though it felt pretty meaningless at first. That was 6 months ago. Today I feel closer to God and stronger in spirit than ever before in my life.

I will pray for Gods presence to be strong in your life. And if nothing else, just try to fake it till you make it.

Good luck guiding in Alaska, I always wanted to do that.

Brad

[Keeper]

As a teen, I watched my older sister get into drugs, alcohol and then get pregnant. I tried to learn from her mistakes and managed to avoid the drugs but still made a few mistakes.

Please understand staying on the right path is a day by day commitment. Try and follow God because the path you are heading down leads to pain and broken hearts.

I will be praying for you.

[fishnwHim]

Hey Hard Ball, Alaska Guiding, that sounds cool ! When you feel your conscience telling you you shouldn't do something It's Jesus telling you, and He isn't telling you that because it's His rules you're breaking , He is telling you because He loves you and He doesn't want you to get hurt. I think from what you have said, that are rebelling against God or your parents or both and at some point you will be done with that and Jesus will be waiting for you with open arms. You said that you are afraid to seek Him because you know that you will blow it in a week or so anyway. Welcome to the club, I blow it all the time in one way or another, but when I fall down He helps me up, and He doesn't condemn me , He just Loves me. Always seek Him, He knows every mistake you will ever make, and He loves you anyway!! Spend some time with Him while you are in Alaska. You'll come back Changed. Just remember don't beat yourself up over your mistakes, get back up , dust yourself off and try again.
We all fall down, But we get up !! He loves you and I will be praying for you to simply embrace Him. Have a great trip and catch a few for me. :wave: :wave:

[Wreckless]

"don't beat yourself up over past mistakes".....AMEN. The good lord KNOWS we aren't perfect. :angel1:
Have fun and take care of yourself in Alaska...You are in my thoughts & prayers.

[Hard Ball]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the support. I think I will try and fake till I make it and hopefully that won't take long. I guess everyone has been through the same troubles at some point in their lives. Whe we are weak he is strong. Thanks again.
Hard Ball
PS. When I get back in September I will post some seroius pictures of my adventure. I'm Stoked! :dance:

[FM2]

Hey Hard Ball, cool moniker, you probably like baseball or play it...me too! I have over a million cards so if you need something to do while you are guiding I'll send you several thousand to look at or organize for me :cool:

Your ok, I'll repeat that, your ok and I'll add normal. Your right about alot of things and yeah, I've been your age but you haven't been mine *grining* You have the answers and know what to do but until you fight off the demons you will struggle. You probably know our physical life on this earth is short but eternal life last forever. Eternity is what we all strive for, even above the bumper sticker that says "he with the most toys wins", yeah right! unfortunately you can't take your toys with you when you are buried six feet underground! You sound like a solid person and know right from wrong and it's totally up to you to break the vices you have so when you leave this earthly world you will be on the river of golden fish and never have a day with the big "0"! Follow your gut and read your bible, you will get through this chapter of your life and live to be a wise old baseball throwing guide!

YBIC,
Keith

[Ryan Pultz]

Hey brother we have all been there in one ay or another I will pray for you. I have found what works for me is if I feel tempted to do something just take a minute and pray about it you do not have to candy cote things with God Tell him like it is tell him what is tempting you and ask him to be straight forward with you trust me sometimes when he slaps us with the truth it hurts believe me I have the scars to prove it. But he always is there to guild us in the right way to go. I sometimes just have to get off my stubborn high horse and ask. rp

[Salmon Stryker]

Hey Hardball, I'll be praying for you. I hope that you use this time up in Alaska as a time to look at your life... where you are headed and where you have been. What do you want out of life? Those types of questions.

I like what Keith says above about fighting the demons...It is so true. You are not a bad person, your heart is good, your conscience is good and God is calling you. But there is an enemy who is trying to steal , kill and destoy everything that you were meant to be. He knows what you could become and he fears you. You are a force to be reckoned with. 1st Timothy 2:7 (I think I don't have my Bible right now) Says that God did not give you a spirit of timidity but one of POWER, LOVE, and SELF DICSIPLINE.

Having said that I also want to say that what you are going through is normal. You are learning to be a man and it is tough. We screw up we fail and we learn. I'll be praying that you have a good time of reflection and fish slaughtering up in AK. It is also my prayer that you will learn how to flex those muscles and fight for the life you were created for. :cheers: (soda) ha ha

Oh and thanks for sharing your story...that takes some marbles. If you have time to read I would recomend the book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. Reading and understanding that book has helped me out of quite a funk.

Take care

[rimrock]

Hardball,

I must prepare you for what I feel I must bluntly share with you. This is not going to be a “feel good” post. There are times for encouragement and times for honesty. As a brother in Christ even though I have never met you I do care and want to see you grow into the man God wants you to be – not perfect but a man after His heart.

I won’t take too much time going over my story, but I lived the college life. I didn’t know God then so I had no source to rely on and I didn’t come to faith until 28. When I have reflected back on the healthy Christians I knew in college I wished I too would have known Jesus and lived a life that reflected it as they did. Yes, it was hard on them but they aren’t burdened with the memories of their actions in college. Even though at times we all and still will abandon God it is true that He doesn’t ever abandon us, but God does allow us to reap what we sow. This goes both ways – if we sow for good we will in time reap good and if we sow bad we will reap bad. I know I am loved and forgiven by God in fact He says that He remembers my sins no more. That is a great promise but I still struggle with the memories even after these many years. God protected me by His grace from any long term health effects, STD’s, an unwanted pregnancy and on, but it could have easily gone the other way. When we are young we feel that we are almost bullet proof – what we do now will never amount to any problems for us in the future. In fact we deceive ourselves into thinking that it will enhance us because we are gaining real life experiences. The reality is they will become weights that you will carry. If you continue this path I guarantee you will regret it and you may even pay a price of a disease or another long term problem. There is no promise that God will prevent this from happening.

I know us dads can seem exasperating to our children. But I can also guarantee that there is no one other than the Lord Himself that is totally on your side like your dad. I’m sure you have good friends, but they will at times worry about their own lives over yours. Some may even become friends that you will know for many years, but they won’t be there like your dad. From the first moment he held you to the moment he passes away he will be your father and will care about you even over himself. I didn’t realize this myself until I became a dad, held my children for the first time and then I understood my father’s concern for me. Try and listen to your dad even though you know his flaws, he only wants what is best for you.

You like many a college student has lost your Christian support network. You’re away from home, from old Christian friends, church and other people that have and still love and support you. Any of us in similar circumstances would struggle with our relationship with God. There are no lone ranger Christians and do-it-yourself spirituality won’t work. Honestly, faking it until you make it will only lead back to faking it. This then will lead to more discontentment and will cause you to fall further away. God does and can draw us back to Himself, but there is a point of no return. There can be a point in time when you are so disconnected to God that you will no longer have that voice of God speaking to your conscious. He will hand you over to your new way of life. He does this out of love so that you may become so miserable that you will turn back to Him, but sometimes people never turn back. Like I said at the beginning this is not a “feel good” post, but one of truth motivated by love because I want the very best for you and more importantly so does God.

Please seek out a new support network, so you will not be a lone ranger anymore. Also get a copy of “How to Stay Christian in College” by J. Budziszewski this book has been extremely helpful and will give you more guidance than I can share here.

I admire your reaching out and honesty in your post. I know you can become the man God wants you to be. It is a long challenging marathon and not a quick sprint, but in the end you will receive a crown of glory that will never fade away.

God bless you,
Brad

[SKP]

You have the right attitude to succeed. Keep it up.

My Pastor has a saying that has helped me many times, "The fear of the Lord is the constant and conscious awareness that God is watching you and will reward you accordingly".

On a tombstone, there is always a birthdate, a dash and a deathdate. The dash is our life on earth.

What will people remember about your dash? What rewards (good or bad) will you earn for your dash?

When I sin (we all do), my Pastor's saying beats through my head, and usually keeps me from further problems, and keeps the problem minor. Once in a great while, we all blow it.

If a drug addict is trying to recover, the best advice is stay away from the drugs and the friends that make it easily accessable. If someone is tempted by alcohol, it's always best to stay away from anything or anyone where it is accessable. Whatever is our hangup, we have to stay away from it. The more we are exposed to access to these sins, naturally the weaker we become, and the sooner we stumble again.

I would get involved in a good Church group again, and fake it until you make it. That was a very good saying Uglygreen.

Just remember that sin will keep you longer than you intended and cost you more than you expected.

SKP

[Hard Ball]

Thanks a lot rimrock. I read every word and I really needed that honesty. I dont like the idea of getting to a place where I dont ever had God anymore. Thats a scarry thought to me. SKP had it right when he said I left my support group at home when I went to college. I think its even harder when you play sport like I do to stay away from your vices cause your friends are instantly the guys you play with and believe it or not baseball players arnt the most up right individuals. You guys have all really helped and made me reevaluate my situation. Thanks guys.
Hard Ball
PS. How cool is it to have a place like this where your among piers and you can talk about God and get positive responces. This board can do amazing things!

[DAB]

HardBall,
I have never been in college as a full time student only Comm. Col.
All kinds of good advise so far and probably more to come. That book that Rimrock told you to get is well recomended, it should help you alot.
I would say that Satan is haveing a hayday with you, the reason that satan is atacking you is because you are one of God's children and your desire is to follow Christ and satan knows that, if you DID NOT have a desire to follow Christ he would not be throwing all those teptations in your face, thats not to say that he would not be tempting you at all, The closer you try to get to God and Christ the more satan is going to atack you and wisper in your ear and put douts in your mind about your ability to folow Christ ECT. ECT...
Like others have said you need to get back to going to church and get into a suport type group and find friends that will hold you acountable and suport you in prayer.
It sounds like you realy want to make a change and going to Alaska is the time to make a clean break of your wayward ways and start afresh with God and Christ.
When you get to Alaska the first thing to do ( besides finding a place to stay Ect. Ect.) is to find a good Bible beliving, Bible Teaching,Bible preaching,CHURCH and get pluged in to it. Prayer about this will help. Remember when you do this satan will be in the full atack mode so prayer is the best armor that you can put on.
While doing all this ----READ YOUR BIBLE---- That puts Gods Word in you and makes it a whole lot easyer to with stand satans atacks, and satan is sure to do that. It wont be easy but have faith in that God can do what you can not.
1 Cor 10:13
13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
NIV.
Rom 3:22-24
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
NIV
And that means -----NOT JUST YOU BUT ALL OF US-----.
Then you/we should do this.
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
NIV.
I will keep you in prayer that God give you the strength to do things His way.
DAB










You are on my prayer list.

[happybrew]

Hard Ball:

You have done a good thing by confessing your sin, even if it's just on a web site. That is the first step.

Make no mistake about it, you are under attack by Satan. It is the rare Christian who has not been. You have weapons at your disposal, however.

1. I assume you are a Protestant, and probably don't pray to saints, and that's fine. But if you do, ask St. Michael the Archangel to protect you in battle. Or else ask God to send him to protect you in battle. Just get Michael to protect you, as he did battle with Satan in the book of Daniel.

2. Approach God with a contrite heart. Tell Him you are sorry, and ask for His forgiveness, and ask Him to send His Holy Spirit upon you to guide you and protect you.

3. St. Paul said something about a dog returning to his vomit. We return to our sins. We have to stop doing that. If people are tempting you, tell them no. Move somewhere else, don't leave your phone number. It may cost you a few bucks, but that's nothing compared to your immortal soul. Be rude if you have to. Ignoring social niceties is not a sin, especially if you are doing the right thing by ignoring them. Tell your former acquaintences (they are not friends if they are leading you to Hell. No friend would do that.) that you will not do drugs, do sex, use alcohol as a drug, do whatever. If they don't like it, tough. I had many a conversation with people regarding that sort of thing when I was in college, although I can't say I was perfect.

4. You might be lonely for a while. Accept that. Get a Christian support group. Use the opportunity to make God your best friend. Read Proverbs. Then read it again. I would suggest reading Proverbs over and over again until you know it by heart, and have accepted it into your heart. For someone in your situation, it is probably the best book in the Bible. It got me through some tough times.

5. Practice self-denial in small things to build up your spiritual strength for the longer things. Skip lunch one day a week, or your morning coffee, or shower with cold water instead of hot for a while. It works.

6. Pray all the time.

7. Know that Satan will put obstacles in your path. Expect it. Move forward anyway. It happened to me. A person my wife is sponsoring had her car break down, her work change things, and her son got wounded in Iraq, all to try to make it more difficult for her to get into church and focus on Christ. In fact, it is a very common thing. But Satan only goes for easy targets. If he knows he can't get you, he'll give up, except for sporatic attempts just to see if he can get through.

Don't give up and keep praying!

happybrew

[Grantspastor]

Hardball...all good advice and encouragement here. The only things I would add are...you aren't going through anything other people haven't gone through, including the Apostle Paul. Read Romans 6 & 7. It's a struggle everyone deals with. You won't find the strength in and of yourself to succeed, but if you call out on the Lord His grace will prove sufficient for you as it has for countless others. There is a cost to be counted in serving the Lord...nevertheless there isn't any other viable option. One of the Proverbs says "the way of the transgressor is hard". There may be short term gratification in the things you are struggling with, but I guarentee there is no peace, and no joy. Those things are exclusive to the Kingdom of God. I'll pray for you. I imagine when you get to Alaska you will be working in the bush at a lodge or remote site. If that is the case, God will be there no matter how remote it is. In your quiet time make it your purpose to seek Him. He understands what you are going through, and no one is better equipped to help you. I lived in Alaska for 8 years, and if you get to Anchorage and want to talk to someone, I can put you in touch with a Pastor friend of mine. In the meantime, I'll pray for you, and I expect that many of the people who have responded to your post have been praying for you as well.