View Full Version : You know your a fisherperson when...
high_arc
11-21-2002, 10:42 PM
That it would be fun to see if we could make a list like Jeff Foxworthy's "you know your a redneck when.." Except, it is you know your a fisherperson when...
I will start: you know your a fisherperson when your wife yells at you to get back on the road when you swerve off it trying to get a glimpse of the river as you drive by.
Let see what you can add, maybe I will collec them all and send them out. I'll see how it goes.
fish_on
11-21-2002, 10:55 PM
if you refer you your children as native or hatchery
when you name your dog after a river or rod manufacture (mine is sage)
when you have more rods and reels than clothes, food, or kitchen equipment
when you spend all your free time on ifish
crabbait
11-21-2002, 10:58 PM
When all your boats are newer than your truck...........and you are still looking for another boat.
high_arc
11-21-2002, 10:59 PM
very good, that's what I'm looking for. Very funny.
STGRule
11-21-2002, 11:02 PM
When the cutlery in the knife drawer is mostly fillet knives.
When the cars are in the driveway and the boat is in the garage.
crabbait
11-21-2002, 11:04 PM
when your car is in the driveway because the garage is full of boats.
when the folks at G.I Joe's, Fishermen's Marine and Tillamook Bait know you by name.
you know the "code" names for all the Kwikfish.
you can anchor next to ****** or Fishinmission and only get a "Howdy".
when the guides ask you how the fishin was yesterday.
skein
11-21-2002, 11:05 PM
When something slinky for your wife entails lead shot and parachute cord.
Skein
POS Clerk
11-21-2002, 11:11 PM
You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.
Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat.
You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter".
Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.
You keep a ugly stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.
You name your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".
Bass Pro Shop has a private line just for you.
You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp.
You have a photo of your 40 lb. chinook on your desk at work instead of your family.
You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.
You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a palomar knot.
You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting.
Your $30,000 boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house.
You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your boat will fit in the garage.
Your kids know it's Saturday---Because the boats gone,
Dipnet
11-21-2002, 11:24 PM
You have to use the neighbor's garage to park one of the boats in because your own already has one in it!!! :hoboy: :hoboy:
crabbait
11-21-2002, 11:31 PM
you have an extra fridge just for bait.
more than half the chest freezer is for bait.
you run smokers in series.
PELICAN II
11-22-2002, 02:04 AM
When dressing up means you put on your newest fishing hat.
When your wife stores her jewelry in a 3 tray tackle box.
When your new living room furniture, is your old boat seats.
When your wall hangings are fishing poles.
When your work boots are falling apart and your hip boots are brand new.
When your kids can tie hooks before they can tie their shoes.
When you have an old reel for a paper weight.
When getting wood for the winter, means stocking up on wood chips for your smoker.
When you read your kids a bed time story out of one of your fishing magazines.
When your wifes recipe box is full of brine mixes.
eightball
11-22-2002, 02:29 AM
When your fridge has more salmon eggs in it than food ----- When all the cats in the neighborhood follow your rig home.
dampainter
11-22-2002, 05:40 AM
when the neighbors start complaining that the fish smell from your backyard is getting in their house.
when you come home from fishing and the family calls 911 for an intruder.
you call in work so much to go fishing and then when you do show up for work everyone thinks your a new hire.
you keep waking up every 1/2 hour the nite before a fishing trip
when you sleep your dreams are all of catching the big one.
and then when you come home from a fishing trip your dog can`t even remember who you are and tries to bite you
[ 11-22-2002, 06:03 AM: Message edited by: dampainter ]
fish assassin
11-22-2002, 05:44 AM
... when your boat cost 3x, 4x, or even 5x what your house did!!
-assAssin-
Ouch!! Hope my wife doesn't see this one ... it's a
sore point! :wink:
Jennie@ifish
11-22-2002, 06:00 AM
When you write a list of your requirements for a mate, and it starts with....
Must have nice boat
Must have nice rods and reels
Must have no hobbies other than fishing...
Must shop only at Fishing stores for Christmas...
or.... if none of the above:
Must not care if I'm ever home. :smile:
Jen
AtWorkALot
11-22-2002, 06:25 AM
...when your fingernails are always a nice shade of pink.
...when anyone other than you hops in your car and starts to gag, and you can't smell a thing.
...when the garbage man puts a respirator on to take the lid off your trash can.
...when you knock your wife out of bed setting the hook on a "sleepy-time" chromer.
...when you come back to work after being sick for a few days, and everyone says "How's the fishing?"
NAUTI-NOTIONS
11-22-2002, 06:27 AM
When you read all these and most of them apply :grin:
excuse me
11-22-2002, 06:50 AM
Funny! These are great. I was laughing out loud at all of POS Clerk's, and several others. "Palomar knots on your kid's shoes" - too funny. :cheers: Thanks for the laughs! I think all the good ones have been taken, but I'll try some lame ones.
*When you get bored you cure the chicken eggs from the fridge.
*When you show up late at a wedding with hip waders under your pants.
*When you take the family out for a Sunday drive you invariably wind up checking out the fishing ramps for reports.
*When you buy your wife a GLoomis IMX to try to finally get her interested in fishing. "Honey, since you aren't fishing again, can I borrow your IMX"?
*When your alarm goes off and you haven't come fully to yet :sleep: , you look at the clock to see if you're going fishing or to work. "Oh ****, it's work."
Flatfish
11-22-2002, 06:55 AM
When all of your furniture is the same color as your egg cure.
When you can answer questions like this without any thought.
When you cure eggs based on how they taste with roast beef sandwiches and Doritos.
Mark and the dog.
Thumper
11-22-2002, 07:06 AM
So far POS has the best one of all:
"Your $30,000 boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house."
Straydog
11-22-2002, 07:07 AM
When all of your wife's tupperware is all 'steelee pink'!
When the rod rack in your office is bigger than some stores!
When your wife gets the rod you've been wanting ssssoooo badly for Christmas..... from you!
WaterDog
11-22-2002, 07:21 AM
When the rod (gun) rack in the canopy always has a rod or two in it "just in case".
When there are burlap sacks in the truck behind the seat, in the "emergency" box, in the wifes car, and in every storage area in the boat.
When the wife says, "NO! The boat is not coming with us!"
When every room in the house has a couple of rod in the corner, completed or not.
When the decor of every room in the house except the daughters, has some kind of fish theme.
The neighbors, after four years, are selling thier house, possibly due to the weekend O'dark thirty diesel alarm clock.
When certain flavors of smelly jelly go better with certain sandwichs.
outdoor.spec.ops
11-22-2002, 08:08 AM
When you schedule your wedding around fishing seasons.
CATCH AND EAT
11-22-2002, 08:17 AM
Your wardrobe consist mainly of fishing or fish print shirts,
Your Sunday church suit is made by Carhart.
Your coat has three layers to it.
You have a freezer only for bait,
you have a mini fridge for bait only.
your boats are in the garage and the car stays outside.
Your door knobs in the house look like glitter, but it is actually fish scales.
You refer to your children as "keepers".
You have a different rod for every fish you caught.
fish assassin
11-22-2002, 08:24 AM
I guess I just DON'T UNDERSTAND!! Are these posts suppose
to be *funny* or something? I mean, I thought *everybody*
owned a pair of Sunday-go-to-meeting bib style Carharts
for them thar "dress-up" occasions!
-assAssin- (dad to 4 keepers and 3 keeper grankids)
Miss B Haven
11-22-2002, 08:32 AM
When your boat is worth more than your house (and the boat is paid for, but the house isn't) :whazzup: graemlins/stupid.gif :grin:
Lured In
11-22-2002, 08:48 AM
1. You can navigate rivers in the dark, but have to ask your wife how to get to the kid's school.
2. You have a favorite position for 'relieving' yourself while on a boat.
3. When the menu at your house sounds like a scene from Forest Gump (Fried Salmon, Baked Salmon, Salmon Stirfry, Cocunut Salmon...)
4. You sleep more on your boat than in your bed.
5. For a christmas list you hand your wife the Cabela's or Bass Pro catalogue and say, "That should cover it."
6. Your photo album has more pictures of fish than people.
[ 11-22-2002, 08:48 AM: Message edited by: Lured In ]
The Fishing Geek
11-22-2002, 09:26 AM
...your definition of "communing with nature" means beating part of it over the head with a lead-packed club.
...sandwiches aren't as good without adding some of Marie's shrimp oil to the mix.
...you thumb the spool on your dog's retractable leash.
...the lushest, greenest grass in your yard grows around your trash can.
...you tie buoys to the side of your truck before you park at the mall.
onebuck
11-22-2002, 10:34 AM
You know you're a fisherman......
- when the only dance move you know is the old "sea leg slide"
- when you search under the couch cushions for fishing gear rather than change
- when anybody asks you how the fishing was and you tell them you caught your limit
- when you test the sharpness of your hooks by making sure they will break YOUR skin
- when the emergnecy kit in the trunk of your car comes equipped with a pocket fisherman
- when your vehicles radio antennae is a broken trout rod
- when you have Bill Monroe's fishing report on speed dial (thanks Bill!)
- when you have a "personal shopper" who frequents all the area sporting goods stores for fishing gear
Small Fry
11-22-2002, 11:03 AM
How about when you are looking for a wife, and the ad reads: looking for
SWF who can cook, sew, hunt, and fish. Must have boat. Please send picture
of boat.
When you are willing to let your best friend ask your new girlfriend out on
a date if he will swap you for a new fishing pole, reel and at least 2
pounds of fresh bait. (I had a buddy that actualy do this one.) I got the new pole, still haven't seen the bait.
Small Fry
11-22-2002, 11:08 AM
Someone should take the best of these and send them to Chicken soup for fishermans soul.
If they except them give the money to Jennie to support Ifish the best fishing network in the world.
fishingfirst
11-22-2002, 11:28 AM
......you take your boat with you to the relative's house for Thanksgiving, so you can go crabbing the day after!
The wife is still not real impressed with that one!
Scott
Nuttinbutnet
11-22-2002, 11:31 AM
When four of the five drawers in your dresser are for "fishing clothes".
When all your baseball caps have flourescent red visors.
When you have a spare frig and a spare freezer and the wife refuses to open either.
When you give up watching the "Civil War" to go fishing.
Jennie@ifish
11-22-2002, 11:35 AM
...when you reach in your change purse and get stabbed by a 3/0 hook. (Great device for deterring little thieves:))
...when you clean out your purse, dump it upside down on newspaper and corkies fly everywhere!
...when you open your jewelry box and find jig earrings....
...when you ride in their car and see the flies lined up on the visor. Don't use mine, it's dangerous!
...when your vacuum cleaner gets clogged up with mono.
...when someone invites you golfing and you bring a foldable rod, cuz you can't help but find out what kind of fish is in that water hazard.
...
...when you arrange your garage shelves alphabetically...
S: salmon
ST steelhead
STU sturgeon
T: Trout
When you own stock in Tupperware rollaway storage containers because you always need "just one more" to file away more surplus line, etc....
...
My son said, "Mom, how many Mom's have hooks in their change purse?
[ 11-22-2002, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: Jennie@ifish ]
fishingfirst
11-22-2002, 11:39 AM
when you subscribe to at least three of the following:
Salmon Trout Steelhead
Western Outdoors
Field and Stream
Northwest Hunting and Fishing News
And you are truely a fisherperson if you have an IFISH decal!
Scott
Tacklebuster
11-22-2002, 11:41 AM
When you net fresh smelt for sturgies and eat the left over for dinner :sick:
Jennie@ifish
11-22-2002, 11:43 AM
...when you space out when someone is talking to you and you have to apologize:
"I'm sorry, I just had a bobber down moment."
When you are sharing a special moment with a friend, staring at the clouds. They see shapes like ships, faces, normal stuff, etc....
You see fish of all species.
...when you have to stop at every bridge on the road to look in the water.
When you spend all day trying to think of all this stuff.... On with my work! ARGH!
Jen
wetaline
11-22-2002, 11:57 AM
When your day off means, your not fishing that day...
When your "new" clothes are what you for fishing, and everyday clothes are whatever you can dig out of the closet.
When your neighbors flock to your driveway like sheep when they see you come home from a day on the river, hoping for handouts.
when your friends stop calling to invite you to do anything on a weekends.
When thanksgiving doesn't start till all the boys are home from fishing or hunting that morning...
When your Lab knows if she's going or not by what your packing the night before.l
The Fishing Geek
11-22-2002, 01:04 PM
...when your daughter loves collecting Corkies.
wetaline
11-22-2002, 01:11 PM
When your day off means, your not fishing that day...
When your "new" clothes are what you for fishing, and everyday clothes are whatever you can dig out of the closet.
When your neighbors flock to your driveway like sheep when they see you come home from a day on the river, hoping for handouts.
when your friends stop calling to invite you to do anything on a weekends.
When thanksgiving doesn't start till all the boys are home from fishing or hunting that morning...
When your Lab knows if she's going or not by what your packing the night before.
willametteriveroutlaw
11-22-2002, 01:20 PM
You know your a fisherman when you get sidetracked on the way to the grocery store and spend you grocery budget on tackle And then eat salmon all week so you don't blow your fishing budget.
You siphon gas out of one vehicle to fill another to go fishing.
Tell a date you'll be by to pick her up at 6 a.m.
WaterDog
11-22-2002, 01:23 PM
When you have blood spots on the window above the kitchen sink.
When you refer to your “baby” your referring to your boat.
When you get home and the wife starts clearing the counter, sets out a spoon and fillet knife, grabs a couple plastic grocery bags, then gets the tilla vacuum packer out.
When you cant get out of a tackle store without dropping $100.
When Monday comes and all the office folk ask, “So, did you bring us some smoked fish?”
When you start laughing at all the smack talk on ifish and your co-workers start to wonder about you.
When you have experienced everyone of these “you know you’re a fisher…..” more than once.
Myles
11-22-2002, 01:36 PM
when you consider fish made out of hubcaps "art"
http://www.hubcapcreatures.com/gallery2.html
fisherredneck
Jennie@ifish
11-22-2002, 01:37 PM
Waterdog? You have corkies in your purse too?
Cool!
What color is your purse?
Jen
fish assassin
11-22-2002, 01:37 PM
when your monthly allowance for tackle is greater than
your monthly allowance for food *and* housing! :wink:
-assAssin-
garyk
11-22-2002, 01:48 PM
If a picture in your house featured a person, it would be the only one.
You don’t have ice cubes ‘cause the fridge’s freezer is packed with herring and roe.
You’ve remodeled the garage so the boat can live indoors. But you’ve never used the words ‘home’ and ‘remodel’ in the same sentence.
You only visit your beach house in Aug.-Sept-Oct. coinciding with fall chinook.
You’ve left everyone and everything you know 3000 miles away ‘cause you heard the fishing was better in Oregon.
Your college was chosen due to its fishing potential.
You’ve come to realize that you kinda like bait-shrimp scented boat snacks.
You visit the Tillamook fish cleaning stations for crab bait carcasses and find yourself saying - ‘Whoa, that one’s still got enough flesh for supper tonite!’ (totally true, ate good too).
And, top this...
Your wedding photo is taken _in_ the Deschutes with your bride in Simms neoprenes and a wedding dress top.
fish assassin
11-22-2002, 01:49 PM
... When your wife asks for a spoon and you go for the tackle
bos instead of the kitchen drawer.
... When Englund Marine supply salespeople meet you at
the door, call you by name and say "we've got a new spoon
that has been really HOT! We saved you a box (25) of 'em!
(will that be enough?) :wink:
-assAssin-
Bait O' Eggs
11-22-2002, 02:37 PM
When your in the tackle store and another customer ask if you know where something is and you say aisle 6, 15th peg from the left end and 4th hook up from the floor. :shocked:
You are at the tackle store in line and the cashier ask you for a price check.
When the cashier at Bimart ask what you are canning when you are back for more quart jars, and you say "eggs".
Your boat smells like a fish cleaning station :wink:
You notice in a meeting at work you have fish scales stuck to your hand and you proceed to pick them off.
When you ask Les Schwab if he can retread your waders
You actually know what salmon eggs taste like
Your wife has the "fishing widows" website on her favorites
You actually use a stop watch when launching and retreiving your boat
You show up at your parents and Mom ask "is everything OK with the family, where is the boat?"
Your kid ask for a fishing rod for christmas so he can spend more time with you. :blush:
Every monday at work the other workers say "how was fishing?"
You have a boat plug on your key chain
You actually know the aluminum thickness on both the bottom and side of your boat, along with aluminum grades.
the first requirement in a new truck is class of trailer hitch it comes with.
You actually enjoy beer before sunrise graemlins/1zhelp.gif
You have a tide book in your wallet
The game warden knows how many punches you have on your tag at any time
you know where every rock in a river is located, but you dont notice the grass in your yard is 2 feet tall
you have more rods in the garage then underwear in your dresser
when people call you by your moniker and not your name :wink:
high_arc
11-22-2002, 03:36 PM
Great job on these!!! :smile: In the next couple of days I will try to compile a list of all of them. when I am done I will let you know and if you want it I will email it to you. Thanks
ClamdiggerMike
11-22-2002, 09:48 PM
when valentines day consists of jigging for herring,crabbing,plus jettie fishing, and your wife is by your side ! graemlins/hearton.gif
big n bright
11-22-2002, 10:59 PM
ALL THE ABOVE AND
When you wake up at 2am and go fishing for 16 hours then get home and log on to Ifish for 4hours, go to bed and do it all over again for weeks on end.
Ya got to love it :grin: graemlins/hearton.gif :grin: graemlins/hearton.gif
When your vaccuum cleaner motor went bonkers because of the lead shot that got sucked up.
When you sit at work on your lunch break and type on Ifish.net.
When all of your clothing has a fish on it.
When you go to bed at night you think of fishing.
THIS IS A GOOD ONE THAT'S HAPPENED MANY TIMES TO ME AND SOME OF THE FRIENDS I FISH WITH:
When you set the hook in your sleep and smack your wife with your hands, because you "saw" your bobber go down.
:grin:
When you wake up in the morning and you are still thinking about fishing.
When your friends don't want to come to your house for dinner because they know what's being served every time.
When a couple of skeins of salmon eggs in a fish caught excites you more than anything else.
When you can't stop typing "you know you are a fisherperson when...." graemlins/applause.gif graemlins/applause.gif graemlins/applause.gif graemlins/applause.gif
SKP
CATCH AND EAT
11-23-2002, 12:42 AM
This stuff is too funny. More, more more.!!! :grin:
Rubber Robin
11-23-2002, 12:47 AM
When you can spend several hours walking the aisles in Fisherman Marine and wonder where the time went!
When you have a cabelas in the bathroom at home and at work!
When the only thing you want for Christmas is the next years combination fishing and hunting license.
When Thanksgiving signifies the Winter Steelhead kickoff!
When you finance a boat for 15+ years!
:depressed:
....when someone asks how many kids you have, and you tell them "4 hens".
....when asked how many they have the reply back was, "one hen and three bucks".
TRUE STORY between me and Pete Kuor.
Too funny!!! :grin: :grin: graemlins/applause.gif graemlins/applause.gif :grin: :grin:
[ 11-22-2002, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: SKP ]
ChrisN
11-23-2002, 12:56 AM
...you go to the best Sushi place and say "I can't eat that, it's Bait :sick: "
...the first thing people say to you is " How's the fishing?"
...you're late to your wife's birthday ( again), cuz the bite was too good to leave.
...you have at least one vet bill for " Hook Removal"or other fish related accidents
...river levels are on your speed dial
...you can't vacation without your favorite fishing rod and reel
Chris :cool:
Sliderite
11-23-2002, 12:56 AM
when for Christmas you can count on shirts with any kind of fish on them...maybe you will get a regular shirt if your lucky
when you are out sick (really) and they just say "Well how did you do?"
when any room you look at home... there are either fishing books, rods, swivels, hooks etc etc
when your longstanding Christmas present is a fishing license and tag
when your days off are nearly all fishing days
when your "Favorites" fishing folder in IE just goes on and on
when cases and cases of mason jars are Not for canning tomatoes etc
You can't find your sisters phone # in your address book but you have all of the bait shops and other fishing numbers easily accessed.
when you think what you need before shopping.....Fishing stuff is the first thing that comes to your mind
King13fisher
11-23-2002, 06:12 PM
You have a refrigerater / freezer that is just for bait.
rhansme
11-23-2002, 06:46 PM
....When I-fish is your home page....
....Your emergency phone list includes the hatchery hot line...
....when your inner tube has rod holders on it....
ray
Mad Mikey
11-23-2002, 06:56 PM
You wake up early in the AM, make some toast and realize you've just spread freshly cured salmon eggs on your breakfast. Now, if you are a redneck you just slap on another piece of bread, call it a sandwich and head out the door......... :shocked:
Grant Scheele
11-23-2002, 07:42 PM
...when you wife sees pink egg dye on your shirt collar and she accuses you of "curing eggs again with Jennie" and you swear that is not true you are really having an affair and that pink is really lipstick.
Lepper
11-23-2002, 08:34 PM
when your wife buys you a cell phone, just for the normal every day chit chat.....
Trick
11-23-2002, 09:28 PM
....your first day back at work involves picking egg crust from your cuticles.
....your most vivid chilhood memories involve doctors and hooks.
....the only glasses you wear must have the word "polarized" somewhere in the name.
....your Ifish hat is standard wear for all occasions.
....the first date with your girlfreind involves fishing.
....it's hunting season and you have your rod sitting alongside your rifle.
....writing your work schedule involves a tide book.
....a thread like this makes you laugh because, let's face it, only a fisherperson gets it!
:cheers:
When you just can't wait for the Civil War and the Super Bowl cause they get all the doughballs off the water. :shocked: :grin: :grin:
Amerman
11-23-2002, 09:47 PM
When
..... The first question your asked when you get home by your wife and kids is "how many did you catch?" so they can judge your mood.
..... Your wife and kids no longer go in the garage because of the smell and general fear of what they might find.
..... Your good shoes are egg cure red from all the times you forgot and wore them in the garage.
..... Your one year old daughter's favorite toy is a pink bobber.
..... You close your eyes to go to sleep and just as you drift off, you see the bobber go down and jump straight up in bed.
..... Your wife stores food out on the back porch because it's safer than putting in your bait fridge.
...... Your favorite fishing days are Christmas, Thanksgiving and Mother's day because only real men fish on those days.
...... You call home from the river to have your wife look up on the computer to see if the river is coming up or not.
..... Your wife plans having kids so they won't be born during fishing season because she wants you to come to the hospital.
[ 11-23-2002, 09:51 PM: Message edited by: Amerman ]
Grant Scheele
11-23-2002, 10:16 PM
Amerman, this was supposed to be funny. Not your autobiography.
fishbait
11-24-2002, 08:05 AM
You moved your wedding out of the month of October.....
You have doctor and accupuncture bills because your elbow is trashed from too many fish........
You leave your cooler, boots, coat and fishbags in your rig 365 days a year..........
Your staff or co-workers are suprised when you actually work all five days in a week........
you have unfrozen smoked salmon in your fridge 12 months of the year..........
You wife makes plans according to the tide book..........
When landing a 40+ chromer is more exciting than having sex..........
and finally:
When it is truly no longer important for you to keep a fish and your wife and family are actually happy that you come home without fish to process.................................
Fish-n-Fever
11-24-2002, 08:28 AM
...... when mother nature calls and the only paper you have handy is the new issue of hunting and fishing news and you go home with 1 SOCK!
....when your hunting and all you can think about is the river raising and how many fish are finally coming in.
Ron
[ 11-24-2002, 08:36 AM: Message edited by: Fish-n-Fever ]
Straydog
11-24-2002, 09:02 AM
When your 8 year old colors you a picture of Rogue River Salmon redds complete with eggs for your birthday!
(it now has a special place amongst the fish pictures in my office!! :grin: )
Seefood Man
11-24-2002, 09:15 AM
When your wife kindly asks for something sparkly and special for Christmas, and you figure this is a no brainer, cause you've got plenty of spin-n-glos graemlins/eek13.gif
When you have your boat up for sale cause of tough times, but yet your already thinking of a bigger and better boat in a month. :cheers:
[ 11-24-2002, 09:17 AM: Message edited by: Seefood Man ]
Rubber Hooks
11-24-2002, 11:21 AM
When you can tie a Bimini Twist blindfolded, but your wife has to help you put on your tie
Tom Meese
Herring Impaired
11-24-2002, 01:24 PM
When you have to lie to your pet parrot and tell him you're "Going to work".
When your wife has the common sense to schedule family events around your fishing schedule.
When you have a tide calculator and all the corrections on your palm pilot.
When your an unemployed student, but you arrange your budget so you can keep the boat!
[ 11-24-2002, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Leroy ]
Amerman
11-24-2002, 03:16 PM
When
..... Your wife says something about quality time with her and the kids and you realize you need to teach them how to fish.
...... You drift off into a daydream washing the car because the water is running down the driveway across a couple pebbles and is making the perfect miniature steelhead riffle.
...... You don't go fishing one day and five of your friends or people from the river call your house to see if you're ok.
...... You spend an hour thinking up , You know your a fishing addict when....
Rubber hooks Love yours about the neck tie.
David Johnson
11-24-2002, 09:09 PM
Yesterday as we were drifting down the river one of my clients says, "So, you live in Boring?"
I said no, actually I gave you my parents address for you to send your deposit because I moved into my new house in April but I've been fishing so much I haven't learned the adress yet.
They got a kick out of that one "I've been fishing so much I don't know my own adress"
Or how about these:
I not only went fishing (twice) on my honeymoon but I fished five hours the morning of my wedding.
My wife can backbounce, wrap a Kwikfish, rig a cut plug herring and cure eggs. She also washes my boat after a day of fishing. :smile:
Flatfish
11-24-2002, 09:21 PM
When you read Dave Js post and wonder if his wife will give you his cure recepie.
If you can name the owners' names, employees' hours, and phone numbers to at least 8 tackle shops.Off the top of your head. No speed dial. No rolodex.
Mark and the dog.
David Johnson
11-25-2002, 02:51 PM
I only said she cures the eggs, not that she knows what she's putting on them
King Fisher
11-25-2002, 03:15 PM
when you always go out to dinner with the family at restaurants that are next to tackle shops or boat ramps.
O'City Fisherman
11-25-2002, 03:55 PM
When your falling asleep and then start setting the hook. The wife asks what the heck are you doing and you tell her to get the net....
When your family is driving by Fishermans and your daughter says theres your 2nd home Daddy :grin: ..
[ 11-25-2002, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: O'City Fisherman ]
KingFisher85
11-25-2002, 10:42 PM
Lets hear some more!!! These are to good :grin: :grin: graemlins/applause.gif graemlins/applause.gif
When you won't even tell your own mother about catching fish because you are afraid she will leak Information! :blush:
MADWIZERD
11-26-2002, 01:14 AM
for bathroom reading material you have to hide the new cabela's in a play boy cover so your wife wont get mad.
you spend the day at fisherman's and cant find anything to buy that you don't already have
when ice comes out of the freezer with egg pieces in it
when you take egg cure to lunch with you because your use to the way it tastes with a sandwich you even prefer it to salt.
you made your wife sign a prenub agreement on your boat.
you cant sit on your wallet because its to fat with tags
when you have extra truck keys cut so you can leave them with the shuttle services
when your wife cant use the phone because your on i-fish
when the Mobile over your baby's bed was made with bobbers and jigs
your long johns only have one leg from all the times you forgot the t.p.
when you know where your k-14 chrome/chartrues is but don't know where your car keys are.
you can get in to your truck in 45 sec.useing only the antenna of your truck because of all the practice you've had at the boat ramp
you run to the mailbox throw the Fredrick's of hooywood catalog on the ground because you cant get to the new cabela's fast enough
when you can think of these with no trouble.
Jennie@ifish
11-26-2002, 06:56 AM
When you have to stay at a motel in Portland, overlooking a city sludge pond. You see a wake in the pond and you don't want to watch the free movies, drink the coffee, or take a hot tub... you just want a bobber and a worm to see what the heck lives in that thar pond!!!
J
Redbull
11-26-2002, 07:22 AM
When you come to bed with a little box full of goodies so you can lay in bed and tie hooks.
This goes over REALLY well with the wife especially when you're trying to sneak one past the goalie. :grin: :grin: :grin:
MADWIZERD
11-26-2002, 08:00 PM
graemlins/applause.gif
Bankbound
11-26-2002, 08:40 PM
When you get up you log on to ifish to wake up. Go out go fishing. Come back, post about your day, then hang around ifish till your eyes burn only to realize you still reek like fish and still have to put everything away, but decide that another 20 min on ifish will be ok!
Fishhead
11-26-2002, 10:51 PM
You know you are a fisherprson when......
You leave your smelly towles you used to wipe you fish off for a picture in with the dirty clothes your wife set out. :tongue:
Or when, you look over the Sellwood bridge to count the number of boats and run into the back of the guy in front of you. graemlins/eek13.gif
Fishhead Vic :grin:
KingFisher85
11-26-2002, 11:02 PM
I can't say that any of these applies to me. :hoboy:
These are to good. :grin: graemlins/applause.gif
Jennie@ifish
06-29-2003, 05:42 AM
A classic!
...any more to add to this?
I found this when reading that big and bright had dug it up, months ago.
Jen
[ 06-29-2003, 07:03 AM: Message edited by: Jennie@ifish ]
lingslayer
06-29-2003, 07:22 AM
When you meet your new boyfriend and in the "what do you like to do?" discussion he asks if you bait your own hooks and tie your own knots!
When you spent your honeymoon on a houseboat at Shasta,... And the highlights were:
All the smallmouths you caught, and
The huge catfish that didn't get away!
Jamie
Fshklr
06-29-2003, 08:24 AM
When theres a tide book in the boat, car, truck, nightstand, kitchen, and 1 sits on top of the TV guide.
You start sneeking the trash into your neighbors can at night.
You teach your wife to read a tide book while you drive.
The truck breaks down, and you take the wifes car fishing.... and then forget to take out the bait.
You convince your wife she is your goodluck charm, creating even more time to fish.
There's a tackle/change jar on top of the dryer.
Her honey do list consists of picking up gear while your out fishing and picking her up from the beach.
Binoculars are used to search for your wife.
You no longer have 1 tackle box, but one for each season and species!
Birdnest
06-29-2003, 09:10 AM
Last Friday morning, first cast by 0415, two hour trip from house. :shocked:
BonkBonkBonk
06-29-2003, 10:29 AM
Originally posted by AtWorkALot:
...when the garbage man puts a respirator on to take the lid off your trash can.
<font size="2" face="verdana,arial,helvetica">i once got to go out to dinner cuz i scooped the rotting salmon out of my dads trash can! :shocked:
jokester
06-29-2003, 03:39 PM
You're always prepared to fish for any fish in the river at anytime of the year with the same tackle box!
You get up 2 hours earlier on your days off to go fishing than what you would to go to work!
:grin:
Mr.Kitch'nPass
06-29-2003, 03:52 PM
You might be a redneck fisherman if...Your fishing licence is more precious to you than your marriage licence! :wink: :grin:
C-lice
06-29-2003, 05:56 PM
...when the shirts you wear when you fish remote areas are either missing a pocket (chamois) or a sleeve (t-Shirts) graemlins/eek13.gif
...when you get your wife a RIDING lawn mower so you won't feel so guilty about those March/April May trips :smile:
...when you sleep in on work days. :sleep:
...when your non-fishing spouse can tell the difference between fish smoked with alder chips or applewood chips. graemlins/hearton.gif
...when somebody asks what kind of rod you have and you say "could you be more specific?" and they say "steelhead" and you say "could you be more specific?" and they say "summer steelhead" and you say "could you be more specific?"... :grin:
Gary Wolfer
06-29-2003, 05:56 PM
Ya know your hooked on fishin when ya stop at safeway and park your big truck and boat out in the lower 40 and look over your shoulder to look at em at least 3 times on the way into the store.
Jacks or Better
06-29-2003, 07:24 PM
You know you're a fisherman (person) when:
You go to Denny's for breakfast and order sam an' eggs with hashbrowns and a side of toast.
You check everyone's lunch before they get in the boat to make sure they didn't bring bananas.
You can identify with over half the stuff that's already been posted.
Lipripper
06-29-2003, 07:39 PM
When you're mowing and you line up the fence post in you neighbors yard with the big fir tree down the block to estimate your trolling speed
Jennie@ifish
06-29-2003, 08:25 PM
These are golden!
:smile:
I love ifish... I just really do! graemlins/hearton.gif
willametteriveroutlaw
06-29-2003, 08:44 PM
When you schedule your college classes so that you at least 2 mornings and 3 afternoons a week to fish.
When you don't have any friends who don't fish.
FROGGY
06-29-2003, 09:27 PM
When you yell at your wife for blowing $15 on plants, and in your garage sits hundreds of dollars worth of yet to be used lures.
AtWorkALot
06-30-2003, 04:47 AM
...when your shed gets broken in to, and they make off with $400 in gardening equipment and $3000 worth of fishing tackle. Doof! :sick:
jokester
06-30-2003, 10:06 AM
Oh yeah, willametteriveroutlaw reminded me of some more:
When you re-schedule your dentist appointment 3 times because it keeps falling on a day that you decide to go fishing.
When you schedule all your appointments after 1 so you can fish the entire morning.
salmurai
06-30-2003, 11:49 AM
When, on "family day", you miss the turn-off to the mall because you were thinking about your boat's problems.
When you can count your tackle "by the dozen".
When you plan your wedding day around "the run" because you'll be off work then anyway.
When, even your dog gets excited at the sight of a fishing rod.
When, you can tell your minister that you prefer fishing over sex because, the "good part" lasts a lot longer.
Hummingbird
06-30-2003, 01:15 PM
When you have a 16/0 Circle Hook on the rear veiw mirror of your pick-up.
h20dog
06-30-2003, 01:19 PM
when driving down the hiway you see a boat ahead and break the speed limit to catch it to see if you can tell where its been, only to find out its a utility trailer.
when you cringe at the thought of buying fish at the store for any purpose other than bait
when making love, at the peak of passion you yell,
........"FISH ON"!!!!!!!!
Fisherfield
06-30-2003, 01:34 PM
When your wife looks at you..you look at her..not a word is spoken...and she says....with a big sigh....what time will you be home??
When your dalmation has pink spots...(she loves fishing!)
When your wife walks up to you with her new capri pants...and says...smell these...(oops...washed em' with my fishing clothes...sorry darling!)
When friends want to see pictures of the new baby...and you don't have one..just a few choice pics of the big one!
When you are leaving work...and someone says..have fun fishing....
When your vehicle is yours...and nobody else wants to drive it...it's a tad smelly...to them
When you can't go the movies...because of lack of funds...but find a way to buy bait.
...When you teach HIM to tie an egg loop.
...When HE asked to borrow YOUR rods.
...When you bounce out of bed on fishing days but hit snooze 10 times on work days.
[ 06-30-2003, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Hess ]
blubeast
07-01-2003, 12:26 AM
As you watch car commercials on TV where the vehicle winds along the coast, you notice the height of the waves & swells... and wonder 'how's the fishing'....
YOU KNOW YOUR A FISHERPERSON WHEN YOU TOW A $40,000 BOAT WITH A $1500 TRUCK!
Mrdorkfish
07-29-2003, 10:12 PM
Since you mention Jeff Foxworthy...This happens to be kinda how i got my name...He tours with Bill Engvall (SP) DorkFish..Caught him on a corndog?? Done heard uv it?? I was in the passenger seat of my ex-Gfriends ford ranger...there is a short discussion with the midget in the back seat and she proceeds to call me a dorkfish.. (her and mommie have been listening ot Bill Engvall (DorkFish) and my only response is... "That's MrDorkfish to you Missy" We laugh...and then i make that my AOL Screen Name...yes..go check it out if you are an aol person...You can see pics of me and Some fall fish... :grin:
Anyway... :shrug: Whatever... :rolleyes:
MrDorkfish graemlins/dork.gif
Louis
Airborne
07-30-2003, 09:08 AM
When you spend more time at work on IFISH than you do while at home. :shocked:
Fishfeet
07-30-2003, 09:19 AM
When your closet is full of fishing gear and all your clothes are on the floor.
Dragfreedrift
07-30-2003, 02:20 PM
when friends & neighbors tell you your garage "smells nice"...
and you quietly smirk to yourself that you should have cleaned up a bit better on that anise oil spill you had last month!!
also, when all the cats in the 'hood roll around on the lawn out where you do the fish cleaning & filleting!
:grin:
HC
Full Freezer
07-30-2003, 03:56 PM
When your wife refers to your new tackle purchase as a "blouse" or "cosmetic" & you refer to her new beauty aid or clothing as "lure" or "scent".
When you have a rod & reel combo for EVERY type of Chinook fishing.
When you have rolls of pipe insulation filled with leaders of every lb. test from 10 to 30 & 2/0 to 6/0 hooks laying around everywhere.
When the issues of Salmon, Trout, Steelhead & Fishin' Huntin' News you own have occupied 2 large bins and have FINALLY cover everything anybody has thought of & you now turn to Ifish.net
When you use the promise of future chores as negotiation points to allow you to go fishing RIGHT NOW!
Full Freezer