Urgent prayer needed here, too!

[Jennie@ifish]

My friend, Jay Drum who has marfan syndrome like me wrote the marfan list an e mail. He is tired of fighting marfan syndrome and writes that he is going to commit suicide.

I have talked to this gentleman over the years and listened to his posting and this is just not like him.

Please, please, pray for him.

I have lost so many friends to this illness and I don't want to lose another.

Please hold him up and bring Christ into his life so that he can see why life is worth living. Bring some joy into his life, please? Pray for that?

I don't know what else to do. I just feel helpless.

Jen

[Jennie@ifish]

hello My Name Is James And Im So Sick Of This I Just Want Peace Of Mind.
I Am Seriously Going To Commit Suicde In The Near Future. The Only Way To
Stop This Incredible Emotional And Phisical Pain've Tried Everythig
All The Meds Seeing A Shrink Nothing Seems To Help.
Im At The End Of My Rope I Dont See Any Other Way Out.

Thanks For Listening To Me Rant, James E. Mcgee Jr

[Jennie@ifish]

:(

[Grantspastor]

I'll certainly pray...

[X'deyes]

Prayers for your friend and family!!

[fishkisser]

I will pray ...
But there really needs to be an intervention ...:twocents:

[brshooter]

Jennie,
I'll pray for James.

[Don Becker]

I'm very, very sorry about your friend, Jennie. I, too, will be praying that he suffer less pain and find some joy in his life. :pray::pray::pray: Don

[cubsfan]

Prayers are great but this individual needs some outside help and now.

[Ryan Pultz]

I just got back from Cali tonight and I will be praying for sure rp

[TheRutt]

I will pray for him with my hole family we will ask god to work in this mans life and to take the pain away and the lord is the only one that knows what he needs.:pray:

[FshnFool]

:pray::pray::pray: Mine and my familys prayers go out to you and your friend.

Matt

[feisty's wife]

Done:)

[12244]

:pray: I hope he can wet a line soon. Where is he?:pray:

Welcome home Ryan.

[PapaHog]

I will be praying for him.

[fishnhuntnfool]

Prayers said! :pray::pray::pray::pray:

[DAB]

Prayers said

[letsfish]

Praying!!!!:pray::pray::pray::pray:

[Jig]

Jennie...I will lift him up and continue to lift him up in my prayers...is he a christian...if not has anyone been a witness to him...has anyone just loved on him...

if he is considering suicide...this leads me to believe that he is not a strong Christian or his faith has been weakened by his illness...either way God still loves him and suicide is not an option for a child of Christ...

I don't know if there is a way that you can pass this on to him...but there are 2 DVD'S out by Louie Giglio and they are titled...

1) Indescribable
2) How Great Is Our God

and I have no ties with him other than being a brother in Christ...but this man has put 2 POWERFUL messages together on the awesomeness of God and the Creativeness of His hand...the first DVD "Indescribable" covers the Galaxies/Stars/Planets...and shows us how small we really are...in a good way...and it is amazing...Scripture is backed by what he presents...

On the second DVD "How Great Is Our God" he explores the human body and what it is made of and how it is all held together...this DVD blew me away...he builds up the message with a powerful closing...using a protein molecule called "Laminin" to take your breath away...I cried when I saw it...I have purchased these 2 DVD messages to show to our youth group at church...you can buy the DVD on Louie Giglios website www.268store.com I encourage EVERYONE TO SEE THESE MESSAGES...we are truly fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)...

My point in all of this is to maybe help him take his focus off of himself and let GOD take over in his life...tons and tons of folks miss God's hand and presence because of hardships and trials...I don't want to sound like I am preaching...I just care for those who are hurting...I pray that Jay will find the Lord and surrender ALL to him...for Jay or none of us can escape the love or presence of God (Psalm 139)...if you watch "How Great Is Our God" you will see that the protein molecule "Laminin" which actually holds us together and keeps us from being just a BLOB...is truly a symbol of how GOD has created us...check it out...

If you don't want to jump out and get the DVD...Go to YouTube or GodTube and search for Louie Giglio Laminin...it will take your breath away...especially if you believe in The Lord Jesus....Here is the link from GodTube...check it out...

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=152b5103d741aca61093&page=4&viewtype=&category=mv

This is just over an 8 minute clip of the total DVD (totally worth the time to watch it...guaranteed!)...The DVD is 42 minutes with some other amazing stuff on it...enjoy.

[King Fisher]

I didn't realize how much emotional and physical pain are involved in marfin. I will pray for your friend and you too Jennie.

[CATCH AND EAT]

This stuff is so sad.

[Jennie@ifish]

Thank you for all of your prayer. We haven't heard back from him.
Several people on the list have written to him to comfort him.

Marfan is a syndrome which means that the symptoms vary widely. You can have one symptom, or many.

My pain is usually fairly well handled with modern medicine and exercise.

Still... it is hard as you know, as I go through my son's heart surgery problems, etc. I can relate to what he is feeling. Thank God I have God, because without, I don't know how I'd handle it.

Jen

[STRUTTIN-1]

:pray: Prayers said.

[jokester]

Praying too :pray: :pray:

-jokester

[Jennie@ifish]

Wow. There is something going on in the marfan list and it's not good. I almost think I should stop reading it because it's really pulling me down. :(

This reminds me of how I'd feel if Andrew dissected. Gosh!
This is awful! This is the worst of marfan syndrome. I just thought I'd share it with you. What in the world would one say to this???



My son had Marfans. His uncle died of it at 37.
His father dissected 10 months after my sons anerysum ruptured on
July 23 2005, my wedding anniversary.
My son came out of surgery with only one lung working. We asked and
asked for months why he couldn't breath and were told "we don't
know" over and over again. It was 7 months later when he was in the
once again in the hospital that a specialist listened to his lungs
for 5 seconds and told us that his one lung was not working.
He had a open wound in his leg from surgery that we spent 3 months at
a wound specialist trying to heal.
He was oxygen 24 hours a day, which meant taking tanks with us
wherever we went.
He had sleep apnea and severe asthma.
He had LS disc disease and even with pain meds. could only walk with
a cane.
He took 9 different medications everyday.
He never made it all the way through cardiac rehab as he devolped
arrythmias and could not continue.
He had migranes and problems concertrating. He kept saying that he
thought he had a stroke because his thoughts was not coherent.
He got badly sunburned from sitting in the sun for 20 minutes. No one
told him his blood pressure medications made him photo-sensitive. He
sent 2 days in the hospital the burns were so severe.
He had pericardia that was more painful he said that the surgery.
He had pneumonia 3 times in a year.
He devolped nickel size sores all over his body 2 days after his last
hospitalization. They were full of pus and never went away. The were
very painful. They thought it was an autoimmune disease and scheduled
an appointment with a specialist.
All his friends fell away after his surgery.
He told me over and over again how lonely he was, how he was always
alone.
He slept all day and was up all night.
I tried to stay up with him as much as I could, but after the surgery
he and his wife had to move in with us, so my husband and I were
working to support 2 families along with all his medical costs. I was
very very difficult.
I was racked with guilt when he spoke of his lonliness.
I got him a puppy.
On Labor Day of 2006 he called his father, who was 4 months post
surgery himself, and in a drugged state pleaded with him to be a
father to him that he desperately needed one now more than ever.
His father who has 3 other children from his second marriage told him
he could not expect to "just barge your way into my family we just
have to go slow." My son told him he was sorry he was confused
thinking a son WAS part of his family.
His wife of 1 year left him 3 times.
In September of 2006 she was getting ready to leave again.
So on Friday September 22, 2006 my son took 3 Pericardia pills hoping
to create a medical emergency. I found out going through his computer
later that he had actually researched how much Pericardia was safe to
take. The article he looked at said there was not a single case of
death from an overdose of Pericardia.
At 1:30 p.m. he asked his wife to take his blood pressure. She said
it was fine. I later read the history in the machine. It was 70/40.
He asked her to stay home with him and not go to work. She said no.
She said she loved him like a best friend but not as a husband. He
asked her what if this was his last day on earth would she feel
differently. She said no.
She left.
I had gone to McDonnell's because he asked me for chicken Mcnuggets.
When I came back he was laying down.
I left his food and told him I was leaving for my own Doctors
appointment and when I got back I would spend the entire evening with
him.
We had experienced a wonderful week he and I.
We went to his favorite restaurant for lunch and spent Monday/Tuesday/ Weds./and Thursday evening together just talking and watching tv.
I went to the kitchen to wash some dishes.
I later learned that sometime when I was in the kitchen, thinking his
blood pressure was normal , he swallowed 19 more Pericardia. It was
still within the nonfatal limits according to the article he had
researched that morning.

At 5:00 p.m. he called me in a panic and asked me where I was. I told
him 2 minutes away from home. He told me to hurry he didn't feel well.
I got home and he was drenched in sweat. I tired twice to get a blood
pressure and couldn't. I called an ambulance.
He told me he was very nauseous and he had to force himself to throw
up and he did. I later looked at that vomit. There was nothing in it
but the diet coke I had left for him and remains of strawberry wafer
cookies he had eaten much earlier that morning. There was no pills in
his vomit.
I later learned that the first person there was a volunteer, not an
EMT. When he arrived I told him to please get an IV to get fluids in
him and as had gone through a similar episode in July. (did he take
pills then?)
He could not get an IV in. We sat in my driveway for an hour while we
tried to stabilize him. I finally begged them to get him to the
hospital. The called his hospital who said they were to capacity and
closed to more patients. Did I want to go there anyways or take him
to a open closer hospital?
I said take him to where he will be seen right away.
He kept asking what his blood pressure was. He said he couldn't see
out of one eye.
WE got to the hospital and they did a CATSCAN thinking he was
bleeding out. They asked me if he could have done this to himself. I
told them the truth, my son was vehemently against suicide. He was a
Buddhist it was against his beliefs.
When the CATSCAN came back clear they said they would start him on
Dopamine to get the blood pressure up. They had no sense of emergency.
He called to me when I was out in hall while he tried to urinate.
"Mom why did you leave me?!!"
I said "I didn't leave you Wes you asked me to step out so you could
pee."
He held his arms out to me and said "Don't leave me Mom." I said "I
won't Wes I'm right here," And then he said " I love you Mom. I am
sorry Mom . I am so so sorry. I love you Mom."
I told him it was o.k. and that I loved him too.
He then said his vision was going. No Dopamine. He said his back hurt
so I started rubbing it for him. He moaned like it felt good. He then
in a paniced state asked where his stepfather ( who was his parent
since he was 10)
was. I said in the hall and I called for him.
He walked in and around to Wes' side of the bed. Wes looked at him
and said"David you were always my real father and I love you. David
said "I love you to Wes'. The nurse said she had to do an EKG at that
exact second. I took my hand off my sons back and instantiously he
surrendered his life and died.
My husband went running out into the hall and screamed "Dr. he's not
breathing. NOW they brought in the dopamine.,
They worked on him for 45 minutes.
He was 29 years old.
He was my only child and all my love and the reason for my existence.
His wife showed up 10 minutes before he died.
He never said one word to her, which struck me at the time as very
odd because he had always wanted her attention.

She was kind enough to later that night point out to me that "now
you'll never be a grandmother."

He death certificate said "SUICIDE"
And in a techicnal sense it was.

And I have been fighting following in his footsteps every since.
I have gone through the many stages of suicide.
Thinking about it. Devising a way to accomplish it.
Thinking about the effects it would have on others.
Comprising letters explaining to them.
Backing out because you don't want anyone else to suffer what you have.
I lately realized that I am now close to the end of the stages.
I don't care about anyone or anything except ending my own suffering.
No energy for phone calls or explanations or letters. Just tired and
ready to end all of this pain.

Grief is a selfish process. It is about our selves, our suffering.
I always said that I could withstand any suffering if my son was not.
And that is what I have done. His suffering is over and mine is eternal.
I have survived the death of all my grandparents, 2 brothers, my
brother and father-in law, and my own father. I thought I was well
prepared for death.
But nothing prepared me for the death of my child. Nothing even comes
close.
He told me he wanted me to life for both of us if he died. " I came
into this world through you Mom I will continue to live the same way,
through you."
Lovely sentiment, but far from the truth.
I went to grief therapy for 6 months.
It made no difference.
I tired medications.
No use.
I read the Marfan website.
No good.
Looking always looking.
But he is gone and while I do not believe in a life after death, I
must consider that it MIGHT be possible that 1 minute from now I can
be with him again.
NOW THATS GOOD NEWS.

Normal life is hard.
Life like my son and many many others live with everyday is so
difficult is becomes impossible.
And we have no right to judge them if and when they say "ENOUGH."
Those people deserve our understanding.
Remember, their suffering will come to an end. And I know for myself
that to see my son suffer from physical and spiritual and emotional
suffering that became so profound was so much harder than the
knowledge I now carry and his suffering has ended.
And I have the right to make the same decision for myself. And so
does the person who wrote on this website.

Please think about this. Remember that grief is a selfish process.
Its about our own pain, not the one we mourn.

[Jennie@ifish]

This just makes me thank God for every day that I have, and all that I have. When I think I have it bad, something like this comes up and I can't believe how lucky I am!

Why is it that some people have such an awful go of it? This just sounds like a nightmare to me, and I don't know how or if to respond to the poor person. :(

I'm thinking of not getting the marfan list digest any more. This is too hard to read!

[CGRFish]

Jennie,

I don't even know what to say after reading that. Keep close to your heavenly father, and he will take you through everything. I will continue to pray for you, and praise your attitude and strength :pray::pray:.

Mark

[Jig]

Jennie,

I am not trying to be insensitive here (so I pray that no one recieves it that way)...I am a very emotional man to say the least...I cried when reading the letter...it just seems to me that way too many folks are looking for answers in the wrong places...God can give her peace, when no one else can...God can give her healing, when no one else can

If she were to follow through with suicide she would be wrong (according to scripture) in saying that her suffering would end...it would just be starting...again I am not trying to be harsh or judge her...pain for a loved one is real...I too have lost a daughter and know how it is...so I am not writing this as if I didn't know...in saying this God gave my wife and I healing and peace...peace beyond all (the worlds) understanding...

She may never know why all these things have happened to her and her family...but given time and turning to the Lord and surrendering it all and accepting Christ she could begin to heal and find peace...

We still think of our daughter and know that she is in a better place (at home with the Lord) and that we will someday join her...truth be known if she would look in the right direction (up) and ask God the tough questions and cry out to Him with her frustrations...in time he would reveal Himself to her and heal her heart...but if she refuses to do so and search empty places...she will never know and could finally end it all in suicide...

What makes it tough...according to her letter is that she is exhausted and doesn't answer the phone and doesn't want contact...the enemy has a firm grip on her and he is using everything that has happened to bring her to the decision of suicide...the enemies mission as scripture says in...

John 10:10 ..."The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...and in the very next sentence Jesus says "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

This is a deep topic and takes handling with care...she needs a friend who will love on her and listen to her and share the gospel of Christ with her... I'm not preachin just stated the truth..."you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free."...

Look at Job in the book of Job...here was a righteous man who ended up losing EVERYTHING...His family, His property, His health, all of His livestock...EVERYTHING...and never cursed God's name...and in the end was double blessed because of his love for the Lord...(I encourage anyone who is going through tough times to read the book of Job)...the book of Job helps me put things into perspective...remember I am not someone who has never gone through anything...I could write a book....

I truly feel for this lady and all that she has gone through...I will pray for her and that she finds GOD while she is looking for answers...I pray that she will give God her pain and her suffering and grief...It Christ's...he paid for it all on the cross...that doesn't mean we don't feel it...that we don't experience it...I am just saying...give it to the Lord and let Him get you through it...He loves us all enough to take it...

[Jennie@ifish]

Praying is all that we can do. The internet is a huge place, and I'm sure the owner of the list/forum is doing her job. I'm just glad this one isn't mine, other than praying and supporting this person.

I mainly posted it to show some of us that we truly don't have it worse than anyone else. There are people out there suffering things that I cannot believe!

Makes my problems seem abs. minuscule.

Jen

[Lou]

:pray::pray::pray::pray:

[Jig]

Well said Jennie...we will keep praying...thanks so much for having the Anglers Chapel..