UPDATE!!! Could use a little help....as in prayers.....

[bigamefisher2]

I am at a point in my life that I am in love with (I think), the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world (at least my world). My problem is this.....she is at a crossroads in her life. We have been together for 4 years, and I can't imagine my life with out her in it. She on the other hand, isn't sure of where her heart is at. Don't get me wrong she loves me, that I have no doubt. However, she also has some unresolved feelings for another man, who lives out of state. They were dating before she moved here (she has been here for 9 years). At that time, he wasn't able to give her the love she was seeking, and so she left without ever saying a thing. After 6 years of not even thinking of him she goes on a road trip with her sisters and brother, back to where she used to live, to see their grandfather, and while out running some errands, she runs into him (this was 3 years ago that this all happened), and it has been a battle for me since. She seems to think that there might be something there, but does not know, as he hasn't said how he feels one way or another. She has been battling within to figure out where she wants to be.......the few times that they have seen each other they have fought, but when they are talk on the phone, he is as nice as pie. He just won't go away. She has tried to tell him, but he doesn't get it. I pray for God's guidence on this every night, but could use a little extra. I love this woman with all my heart, and don't want to lose her. I would love for God to show her the way and hopefully it is with me. Above all else, I just want her to be happy, even if it isn't. So, I ask for a few prayers of encouragement, to help me cope with this. Thanks! God bless you all......

Dave

[CATCH AND EAT]

Life without her will go on. She has a choice to make and you have a decision to make. Do you want to be with a woman who has feelings for another man that are unresolved? Do you want to wonder if she will drop you at a moments notice and run off with this guy? I would not want to wonder like you at this point. I think for me I'd cut her loose to find herself and let her see if this is the dude of her dreams. Then you have to decide if she is a girl you really want. Me, I'd say enough and move on. Lot's flowers in the field and life is to short to set goals with someone that is uncertain.

MOVE ON.

[CGRFish]

Life without her will go on. She has a choice to make and you have a decision to make. Do you want to be with a woman who has feelings for another man that are unresolved? Do you want to wonder if she will drop you at a moments notice and run off with this guy? I would not want to wonder like you at this point. I think for me I'd cut her loose to find herself and let her see if this is the dude of her dreams. Then you have to decide if she is a girl you really want. Me, I'd say enough and move on. Lot's flowers in the field and life is to short to set goals with someone that is uncertain.

MOVE ON.
:agree:

Life has way to many uncertanties to have one in this area. Your spouse needs to be your soul mate, without a doubt and without a question. I'll pray for your guidance as you face some difficult decisions.

[Troutinator]

I will pray that you find wisdom and discernment.

I will also say... with so much unresolved feelings and related confusion.... it would never work. As noted above, the best thing you can do for both of you is set her free to figure out what she wants... without the day to day influences of either man. If she decides she can give herself to you 100%, she'll be back to tell you so. if not... it wouldn't have lasted anyway.
I hope that does not come across as cold or uncaring, in fact it is meant with a great deal of caring for both of you.

[jokester]

Life without her will go on. She has a choice to make and you have a decision to make. Do you want to be with a woman who has feelings for another man that are unresolved? Do you want to wonder if she will drop you at a moments notice and run off with this guy? I would not want to wonder like you at this point. I think for me I'd cut her loose to find herself and let her see if this is the dude of her dreams. Then you have to decide if she is a girl you really want. Me, I'd say enough and move on. Lot's flowers in the field and life is to short to set goals with someone that is uncertain.

MOVE ON.

:agree: x2

-jokester

[bigamefisher2]

I can truly understand what you are all saying. I should have been more clear. I didn't really find out about him until almost a year and a half after her trip. During that time we got even closer (or so I thought). She had even told him she was chosing me, but he still would not go away. I personaly think that he is just playing her, to keep her from having anything worthwhile with me. I see the things that he has done, and even seen the things that he says (her text messages from him...I know, I should not have looked, but you know......). She doesn't see it, but myself and her brothers and sisters do........I am not ready to give up......I have seen what is in her heart towards me. Then out of the blue, he calls, and it's like starting from scratch again.

[Jennie@ifish]

That must be an awful feeling. I'm sorry that you have to endure that!

I'll say some prayers for you both!

[Poindexter]

Praying for wisdom and patience.

[PapaHog]

I will pray for you both. :pray:

[CATCH AND EAT]

I can truly understand what you are all saying. I should have been more clear. I didn't really find out about him until almost a year and a half after her trip. During that time we got even closer (or so I thought). She had even told him she was choosing me, but he still would not go away. I personally think that he is just playing her, to keep her from having anything worthwhile with me. I see the things that he has done, and even seen the things that he says (her text messages from him...I know, I should not have looked, but you know......). She doesn't see it, but myself and her brothers and sisters do........I am not ready to give up......I have seen what is in her heart towards me. Then out of the blue, he calls, and it's like starting from scratch again.


With no disrespect intended toward you or your gal friend. I still say, it's time to make the first move and live with the results. Love is not to be toyed with and your emotions and feelings toward her are not being viewed respectfully by her or the chucklehead pursuing her under your nose. How can you stand for that, knowing someone is playing her like this and you are allowing it to happen. And she is allow it to happen.

She is confused. Time to move on and give her space to make up her mind. In the mean time I'd give myself a bit of time to heal and look for the true love the Lord has out there waiting for you. Just YOU!

Sorry I may seem a tad harsh here but I hate when women or men play stupid games like this. Just not right.

[bigamefisher2]

Easier said than done. I have this little voice in the back of my mind nagging at me to keep pushing forward, and that everything is going to turn out they way it is supposed to be. I've gone the route of leaving, but we ended up back together. Same voice telling me to wait it out, she'd be back. Same voice now telling me she is worth the wait, and to keep believing that she is THE one for me. When we met, I was going to see a friend that I used to work with. We were talking about going out. They were actually living together at that time, we met, talked, hung some more, and her and I ended up together. Believe it or not, I had seen her in a dream before I even met her face to face.

[bigamefisher2]

It is finished.......she has ended it, and chosen someone that by all counts is not good for her. She does not see it that way. She "dropped the hammer" on me a few minutes ago. I need all the prayers that I can get now, to help me cope with the pain. Thanks in advance.

[CATCH AND EAT]

Dude, don't know what to say right now that could possibly ease your pain. Count yourself luck bro that you found this out now rather than later on when the pain would be much worse with children involved.

Let her go and do the stupid thing she has chosen. She has to find out what she thinks she might have been missing. Meanwhile, take time to heal from the hurt. Evidently the Good Lord has someone BETTER in mind for you. someone that will make YOU number one in their life. Someone that chooses YOU and is not confused over some knuckle dragger from her past.

Tomorrow will be a new day dude. Grab it by the horns and ride. Let the bitterness go and Pray for yourself that happiness will find it's way into your heart.

Yeah, easy to say stuff sitting here at a keyboard at 1030 at night but from the hurt, healing will take place. Get right with God. Get it together and find someone worth while.:twocents: Peace out.

[bigamefisher2]

Thanks......I have no idea what I am going to do now. I don't even have the funds to get a new place.....she really dropped the hammer hard.

[CGRFish]

I'm still praying for you - God has the answers you are looking for - you will make it!

[PapaHog]

I will pray for you.

I want to say more but don't have a clue what that would be.

:pray::pray:

[letsfish]

I will pray for you.

I want to say more but don't have a clue what that would be.

:pray::pray:
Exactly! Can only imagine the hurt and despair. But you will bounce back and God will help you.

[bigamefisher2]

Well things have calmed down....for now. We talked later that night after she went off on me telling me that she chose him....she said all of this out of anger because she is torn on what to do.....ok, iguess. She said that she hasn't chosen anything, and wants to take thing one day at a time. Here sister talked to about all of this and told me that from what she was told, it looks like there won't be any changes for us anytime soon, but we slhall see as she is flying to Cali, in April. I have a 50/50 chance that she returns to tell me she is choosing him, or that she broke it off and that I am the one she wants to be with. She keeps talking about plans for us in the future, and it is getting tougher for me to figure out what's going on.......My heart says hang on, my head says run.........All I can say is this really stinks. I wish it would just get right and be good all around.

[jokester]

Well things have calmed down....for now. We talked later that night after she went off on me telling me that she chose him....she said all of this out of anger because she is torn on what to do.....ok, iguess. She said that she hasn't chosen anything, and wants to take thing one day at a time. Here sister talked to about all of this and told me that from what she was told, it looks like there won't be any changes for us anytime soon, but we slhall see as she is flying to Cali, in April. I have a 50/50 chance that she returns to tell me she is choosing him, or that she broke it off and that I am the one she wants to be with. She keeps talking about plans for us in the future, and it is getting tougher for me to figure out what's going on.......My heart says hang on, my head says run.........All I can say is this really stinks. I wish it would just get right and be good all around.

Sounds like to me she's still toying with you. You don't tell someone it's over, unless you really mean it and are willing to follow through with it (or at least I wouldn't).

I'm still with the "tell her to make a decision and give her by a certain day/time to do it, then, depending on the results, move on with your life" category. As much as it hurts, do it now before you get into the relationship any further. Sounds to me like she's playing with your emotions, and you need to stand up for yourself and show her that no matter how much you care for someone, that you're not going to be treated like that!

-jokester

[feisty's wife]

Dude, turn around, and walk away. You will NEVER get real committment from her, leave it alone.

[Ryan Pultz]

hate to say it in the long run your heart will hurt less to just walk away! rp

[HntnFsh]

I'll be praying for both of you.:pray:

You need to ask yourself if you'll ever really be able to trust her though.

I was in a relationship exactly like your describing.It was miserable for a long time.The ups and downs were tearing me up.I finally had enough and ended it.Against her wishes.Seems like that when they decide they are ready for a committment.But by then I wasnt.She really wasnt either.

Life is so much better now.

[STGRule]

Look deep into her eyes and say good-bye. And then leave. And don't come back. Somebody who loves you would not do this.

[PapaHog]

Ruth has nailed it. I will pray for you.

[Troutinator]

This is not a God thing. This is a man thing. At this point you're going to get what YOU choose. One path leads to peace and a chance to start over. One leads to continuued torment. Choose carefully.

[CATCH AND EAT]

Look deep into her eyes and say good-bye. And then leave. And don't come back. Somebody who loves you would not do this.


Ruth, Perfectly said.


Walk away brother and find another that will love and cherish you without the sidecar baggage.

[fishandcrawl]

Look deep into her eyes and say good-bye. And then leave. And don't come back. Somebody who loves you would not do this.
It's the only thing to do at this point, no amount of prayer will fix this type of situation. The worst thing is that you are enabling her to do this thing to you.
:pray: for you

[rimrock]

It’s not my place to tell you to do this or to do that. You don’t need my wisdom so I have prayed for God’s direction for you and for you to continue to seek God. This must be so difficult; I’m sorry for that. I know Jesus will be with you. And I thank God for His presence in your life.

Peace be with you.:pray:

[PapaHog]

It’s not my place to tell you to do this or to do that. You don’t need my wisdom so I have prayed for God’s direction for you and for you to continue to seek God. This must be so difficult; I’m sorry for that. I know Jesus will be with you. And I thank God for His presence in your life.

Peace be with you.:pray:

Amen!

[tailwalker]

WOW!! Quite the saga.....Bottom line is this....This is like having a scab and ripping it off everytime it is almost healed. It hurts everytime, and prolongs the healing time. The longer this goes on the bigger the scar will be. It is time for you to make the decision for her. We have all been in a situation where we like the other person more than they like us.....Sometimes when we force the hand and tell them we are done I want nothing more to do with you and you leave for real. Sometime they will come running back and sometimes they will not but it is time to quit torturing yourself. I read this story and I think this is pretty basic stuff made hard by emotions. Help yourself and be strong, drop the hammer on her not yourself. I have a five year old daughter with cancer, if I can handle that you can handle this, now get it done! Good luck.

[Cliff D.]

I feel your pain, but she is going to string you along as long as you let her. Say goodbye. Much less pain.