Pilar
10-28-2001, 09:23 AM
It was a good idea!
Getting a boat was a good idea, well at first anyway...
Lets go back to January 1977. When Denise won the lottery she decided to
buy her significant other a boat. Maybe then, she reasoned, he would
do something besides hang at home and watch sports on TV all weekend.
When he isn't doing that, he's at the dog track, the Jai alai or the
pool hall.
Brought the boat home today, boy is Hugh gonna be surprised!
Well, he was. All of his buddies came over to look at it. The big
question now is how to get it to the water. We have no truck.
Hugh's buddy came over on Saturday and they launched the boat and went for
a ride. It will stay in a moorage at the marina, so we won't need a
truck. We spent all day Sunday cruising around and getting sunburnt.
It cost almost $50 to fill it up with gas, but the waterskiing was awesome.
We decide not to name the boat. This is the first TV sports free weekend
in a few years!
Months later ............ In August
Denise had no idea! The boat was paid for up front but the bills keep coming.
Moorage, fuel, ice, bait, repairs. The guy is always going to the Offshore
Angler on Marathon and blowing $100 every time. It goes on and on,
this boating hobby is expensive. The storms come soon, time to put it
in the back yard until the hurricane season is over. We'll just mow around it,
it hardly takes up any room.
Next December ....
We have a truck now and the Redfish are running. Off he goes to Key Largo
with the new truck, the boat and some of his friends from the dog track.
Oops, they're back early, looks like the bearings on the trailer went bad. Boy is
Hugh ****** about that.
They had to fix it on the side of the road. Another couple hundred bucks
spent there. Maybe the track and pool hall is not so bad after all. The
boat needs a tuneup too. Wonder what that will cost?
The following spring.....
I don't get it. He hardly ever uses the boat anymore. At least it doesn't
spend any money while it sits in the back yard. Maybe I can get him to
do a family boating trip this weekend.
Well that was a disaster! The damn boat wouldn't run and Hugh got into a
shouting match with some jerk at the boat ramp. He told Hugh to fix it
at home, not at the ramp. It's back to the back yard for Mr. boat. Maybe
I can get the kids to wash and shine it up, its looking a little shabby.
Two years later ....
So much for the boat idea. It just sits in the yard all the time now. When
I asked Hugh about it, he went out and tried to start it. Won't start and
I'm not letting him spend any more money on it.
1984 ....
Hugh is mowing the lawn on the tractor and finishing off a can
of beer. As he goes by the boat he tosses the empty in on top of the
three foot high pile of cans between the seats and the engine cover. He's
thinking 'Gotta get rid of that boat'.
1987 ..
Hugh loses a pool game and takes the victor home to his house to pay off
the bet ... a case of beer. They check the fridge in the garage and only
find two cans. 'Hey Jim, take that boat out of my back yard, that will
pay the bet'. "Really?, lets go look at it", Jim says. 'Won't start, ****
we haven't used it in years, too much trouble'.
Jim looks the boat over and the beer cans are level with the gunnels from stem
to stern. "I don't know, Hugh it looks pretty rough. Full of water too, the
trailer is about to collapse from the weight". '**** , Jim you could get
a couple of new tires and take it away. There has to be a few bucks in parts
there', Hugh offers. Jim scratches his beard, "Let me think about it".
Next friday
Jim unclogs the drain hole and puts on 2 new trailer tires. The trailer
groans as the weight comes off but it looks OK. The water runs out for
3 hours.
Sunday night
The boat gets parked in the back yard of a house on Johnnys Way in E.
Milton, Florida. It sits there until 1994, it still does not have a name.
Jan. 1994
A man drives up to the house in a rental car and looks at the boat. No
one lives there and the boat is a sad sight. The new trailer tires are
flat and the boat is full of beer cans, leaves and water. He calls his
dad and says, 'I don't know Dad, I wanted a boat, not a project.' "****
John, its hardly got any hours on it, it just needs a new interior and
some cleanup work" Offers Jim. John says, 'Well that's cool but its
only 3000 miles from where I would use it, what about that?'
"You'll think of something, son"
Feb. 1994
The boat gets towed to Portland, Oregon behind a company truck that is
shuttling home from a jobsite in Nachitoches, Louisiana. It gets parked in
front of a house in Southeast Portland. It still does not have a name.
The beer cans fill 20 yard sized garbage sacks and are essentially worthless
because they have no deposit on them. The engine won't run, the outdrive is
frozen and the floor is rotted out.
Fall 1997
The Outdrive is rebuilt and the engine disassembled for evaluation. It gets
rebuilt too. Buying the manual was the easiest part. The work takes a winter
of weekends. No TV sports in that house either.
Mar. 1998
A chainsaw is used to remove the entire inside of the boat. All the wood
is rotten, including the transom. The rotten wood and saturated foam
fills 4 pickup beds.
June 1998
Maiden voyage, the boat is christened 'Pilar' with a bottle of
'Sheaf Stout' beer. The first 3 lines of 'Old man and Sea' are read aloud
as the boat slides off the trailer and into the Willamette river.
The pilot is grinning ear to ear. His daughter rides with him through
downtown Portland on a moonlight boat ride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Now you know the rest of the story.
[ 10-28-2001: Message edited by: Pilar ]
Getting a boat was a good idea, well at first anyway...
Lets go back to January 1977. When Denise won the lottery she decided to
buy her significant other a boat. Maybe then, she reasoned, he would
do something besides hang at home and watch sports on TV all weekend.
When he isn't doing that, he's at the dog track, the Jai alai or the
pool hall.
Brought the boat home today, boy is Hugh gonna be surprised!
Well, he was. All of his buddies came over to look at it. The big
question now is how to get it to the water. We have no truck.
Hugh's buddy came over on Saturday and they launched the boat and went for
a ride. It will stay in a moorage at the marina, so we won't need a
truck. We spent all day Sunday cruising around and getting sunburnt.
It cost almost $50 to fill it up with gas, but the waterskiing was awesome.
We decide not to name the boat. This is the first TV sports free weekend
in a few years!
Months later ............ In August
Denise had no idea! The boat was paid for up front but the bills keep coming.
Moorage, fuel, ice, bait, repairs. The guy is always going to the Offshore
Angler on Marathon and blowing $100 every time. It goes on and on,
this boating hobby is expensive. The storms come soon, time to put it
in the back yard until the hurricane season is over. We'll just mow around it,
it hardly takes up any room.
Next December ....
We have a truck now and the Redfish are running. Off he goes to Key Largo
with the new truck, the boat and some of his friends from the dog track.
Oops, they're back early, looks like the bearings on the trailer went bad. Boy is
Hugh ****** about that.
They had to fix it on the side of the road. Another couple hundred bucks
spent there. Maybe the track and pool hall is not so bad after all. The
boat needs a tuneup too. Wonder what that will cost?
The following spring.....
I don't get it. He hardly ever uses the boat anymore. At least it doesn't
spend any money while it sits in the back yard. Maybe I can get him to
do a family boating trip this weekend.
Well that was a disaster! The damn boat wouldn't run and Hugh got into a
shouting match with some jerk at the boat ramp. He told Hugh to fix it
at home, not at the ramp. It's back to the back yard for Mr. boat. Maybe
I can get the kids to wash and shine it up, its looking a little shabby.
Two years later ....
So much for the boat idea. It just sits in the yard all the time now. When
I asked Hugh about it, he went out and tried to start it. Won't start and
I'm not letting him spend any more money on it.
1984 ....
Hugh is mowing the lawn on the tractor and finishing off a can
of beer. As he goes by the boat he tosses the empty in on top of the
three foot high pile of cans between the seats and the engine cover. He's
thinking 'Gotta get rid of that boat'.
1987 ..
Hugh loses a pool game and takes the victor home to his house to pay off
the bet ... a case of beer. They check the fridge in the garage and only
find two cans. 'Hey Jim, take that boat out of my back yard, that will
pay the bet'. "Really?, lets go look at it", Jim says. 'Won't start, ****
we haven't used it in years, too much trouble'.
Jim looks the boat over and the beer cans are level with the gunnels from stem
to stern. "I don't know, Hugh it looks pretty rough. Full of water too, the
trailer is about to collapse from the weight". '**** , Jim you could get
a couple of new tires and take it away. There has to be a few bucks in parts
there', Hugh offers. Jim scratches his beard, "Let me think about it".
Next friday
Jim unclogs the drain hole and puts on 2 new trailer tires. The trailer
groans as the weight comes off but it looks OK. The water runs out for
3 hours.
Sunday night
The boat gets parked in the back yard of a house on Johnnys Way in E.
Milton, Florida. It sits there until 1994, it still does not have a name.
Jan. 1994
A man drives up to the house in a rental car and looks at the boat. No
one lives there and the boat is a sad sight. The new trailer tires are
flat and the boat is full of beer cans, leaves and water. He calls his
dad and says, 'I don't know Dad, I wanted a boat, not a project.' "****
John, its hardly got any hours on it, it just needs a new interior and
some cleanup work" Offers Jim. John says, 'Well that's cool but its
only 3000 miles from where I would use it, what about that?'
"You'll think of something, son"
Feb. 1994
The boat gets towed to Portland, Oregon behind a company truck that is
shuttling home from a jobsite in Nachitoches, Louisiana. It gets parked in
front of a house in Southeast Portland. It still does not have a name.
The beer cans fill 20 yard sized garbage sacks and are essentially worthless
because they have no deposit on them. The engine won't run, the outdrive is
frozen and the floor is rotted out.
Fall 1997
The Outdrive is rebuilt and the engine disassembled for evaluation. It gets
rebuilt too. Buying the manual was the easiest part. The work takes a winter
of weekends. No TV sports in that house either.
Mar. 1998
A chainsaw is used to remove the entire inside of the boat. All the wood
is rotten, including the transom. The rotten wood and saturated foam
fills 4 pickup beds.
June 1998
Maiden voyage, the boat is christened 'Pilar' with a bottle of
'Sheaf Stout' beer. The first 3 lines of 'Old man and Sea' are read aloud
as the boat slides off the trailer and into the Willamette river.
The pilot is grinning ear to ear. His daughter rides with him through
downtown Portland on a moonlight boat ride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Now you know the rest of the story.
[ 10-28-2001: Message edited by: Pilar ]