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Jennie@ifish
05-21-2007, 07:50 AM
I think by the sounds of it, I may be dealing with some sort of perfect peoples, my children...--I don't know! but to hear them tell it, I have raised some holy wise ones!!! :shrug:

My kids are driving me crazy. They are so wise, or so they say that they are. I know nothing. I am but a peon. A silly, stupid little Mother who is so off, so out of date, so wrong, obviously, in her thinking!

If only I could be half as wise as those that I've brought into this world, and taken care of! How did I manage to grow these perfect people?

Sheesh! I am sure having a tough time of parenting, lately!

I could sure use some prayer, before I give up on this endeavor! It's so sad to love your children with all of your heart, and have them think that you are foolish and out of fashion.

It seems like it's going in waves, now. I think I've got it licked, and that they respect me finally, and that all is well. Then, all of the sudden it reverts back to me being stupid and knowing nothing! Argh.

Please, good Lord, help me through another day of raising the smartest children in the world. This is a tough job, raising people who know everything when we, as silly little parents know nothing at all.

Father, I just pray that you give them just one problem that overwhelms them, that I hold the key to, that I have the answer to-- so that they can look up to me, JUST ONCE! :laugh:

It was so funny. When my oldest moved out for a while, he learned very soon that it wasn't all rosy out there. He learned that heat costs money and food doesn't grow on trees. He came back home feeling appreciative and loved.

But, oh, that's worn thin and now, once again he's ready to fly off on his own to the land of good living. How quickly he's forgotten that he once called me on the phone and asked, "Is it warm, there? Do you have heat?" and, oh... I loved this one. "We are having peanut butter for Thanksgiving... can you come buy us a turkey?"

...and I did! And I was thanked up one side and down another.

But, now... as he lives in the land of free groceries, a full fridge, pop to order, and cheap room and board, he so soon forgets! As he throws off his blanket, because the heat is blowing hard, and his wallet is fat with extra cash, he looks at me with scorn and disrespect and orders a ride to school.

No more does he carefully wash his dishes to show his appreciation. No longer does he offer to sweep the floors. He has forgotten, so soon!

It's time to remember, I do believe. It's time to usher him back to the apartment of his dreams, with a jar of peanut butter, and the heat turned off. A land where no ones purse is handy to sneak out a bus fare, or a dollar for a snack at school. A place where dirty laundry piles up, undone and dust piles up on the television set, two inches deep.

Muhahahahhaa....

Goodbye, my dear children! Enjoy your stay! Enjoy your freedom away from the nagging Mother that knows nothing! Have fun, now!

The candle will be lit in the window. I will always love you. But, I gotta admit. I love you just a little bit more when you realize that life isn't as easy when you live away from home. :hearton:

Come to think of it, Isn't that true, though, of living with, or away from our Heavenly Father, too?

That we so soon forget what it's like when we sit in the lap of our Heavenly Father and get so used to him giving us everything we need? We get so accustomed to his goodness and we start to forget where all of the good in life comes from. It comes from being in the word. It comes from being obedient and respectful and appreciative of his love and kindness to us.

Then, we sometimes gradually stray away from his teachings... forget to read the bible on a daily basis, and we start to break our Father's heart. One day we wake up and trouble seems all around us, and we yell out, "Oh, Father! Help us!" Sometimes, he listens, but He isn't nearly as quick to answer, as when we are close to Him. As when we are in the Holy Spirit, and obeying his word.

I've done that, before! I realize I have tons of problems and then I realize I'd forgotten to read my bible every day and that I hadn't been talking to Him as I go through my day. DOH! It hits me like bricks. That's why my life is screwy!

I just can't believe how alike this is!!!!

It's really time that my kids realize that I'm their Mother on earth, but they really need to depend more on their Heavenly Father then their earthly Mother.

I will always be here for them, yes. I will always love them, and the candle will always be lit. But, the answer to their life problems lies in the hand of their Heavenly Father.

I think it's my turn to pray for them, rather than to give hand outs. To let them fly free, and to land in the lap of their Heavenly Father, or to learn the ugly truth about landing in the opposite place, and hopefully, prayerfully, coming to realize that peace and joy and safety is only found in one place.

I so hope that I have given them the tools to prepare them in the way that they should go!

My heart is breaking this morning, and it's heavy, knowing that I don't hold the key to their happiness any longer. They are adults. All I can do is to pray, pray, pray and to love, love love!

Please pray that I'm able to let them go, and please pray that they will be safe and always in the love of our Lord.

Jen

samiam
05-21-2007, 08:07 AM
God is with us (and our kiddos) in the ups and downs, the fatness of life and the skinny. God will be with your kids no matter where they are and how life is treating them. God offers them a constant opportunity to learn and grow, if you can think of it that way :pray: I think as a parent if I can remain as constant and stable as possible, living my life the way God intends for me to live it, then I'm at least doing my part, inasmuch as I have control over myself, which brings glory to God. Hang in there! God bless. p.s. i know just what you mean about forgetting to read out of the Bible. I'm constantly catching myself in the "high" of life, and suddenly realize i've been operating under my own "power" for days or weeks, instead of looking to God. I feel like i'm taking big grown up steps, due to my own strength and to my own credit, when I suddenly remember (sometimes because i hit a hard spot in life) that i've gotten distracted from the very basic rules that my own heavenly Father has given me. I'm never going to grow up enough to take a step in life without looking to Him for approval!

Grantspastor
05-21-2007, 08:21 AM
My heart goes out to you. I will pray for you. As far as your "lack of wisdom"....don't worry about that. When they are in their late 20's or early 30's you will have become much wiser, and they will once again seek your counsel.

PapaHog
05-21-2007, 08:30 AM
Jen, I agree with the good pastor. You will become much smarter as time goes by. You have done a good job. Given them wings, let them/him fly and he will learn to fly home and love on mom.

I will pray for Him. I will pray for you.

DAB
05-21-2007, 07:22 PM
Teen agers, I wonderhow they get so smart in such a short time it surely aint the school teaching them all they know.:D :D .. Don't worry, all that smarts disapears when they get to about thirty then to them you will be much wiser :applause: :applause: :applause: and it is there time to wonder when did Mom get so smart all of a suden.
I have been down that road twice. I'll Say a prayer for you.


But remember

Once a Parent always a Parent.
DAB

Ryan Pultz
05-22-2007, 06:39 AM
edit Joyce is posting under my name again hahaha rp I will repost it for her rp

SharkbaitHoHaHa
05-22-2007, 07:17 AM
I do remember when I was a teen and I thought I knew everything. This to shall pass. (after High School) I remember my Dad told me I had to get a job if I was going to pay for any college, to have a car, gas for the car, insurace to drive the car and anything else that came a long. He was not going to pay for it all. I did get a Job and I did have sum struggles but I am a better person for it now. I was shown I had to be reponsible for myself and my actions. My parents did help me more than a few times but I have always payed them back. I respect my parents very much. I have a 9 year old that is getting closer and closer to that age. All I can do it pray to God for his guidance, Love and Patients when my son becomes a teen.

PapaHog
05-22-2007, 08:03 AM
This in some way is really the natural order of things. The breaking away from the nest. The growing up and wanting to be on his own.

In the outdoors world the Bears have been known to drive the cubs up a tree and walk away and never come back. When the young are old enough (ready or not) they are on their own.

Jen it is written give me a child until he is 6 and he will not depart from these ways. Jen you have had the child for 18 plus years. He is your son and loves you very much. I know you love him and all this will come to pass as time goes on.

Give them wings, you have taught them to fly, let them fly. Help them when they fall just don't do it all for them and in time they will fly home just to see mom. To hug on mom and get hugs from mom.

Wish I could go and see my mom.

FishinGrl22
05-22-2007, 08:05 AM
Teen agers, I wonderhow they get so smart in such a short time it surely aint the school teaching them all they know.:D :D .. Don't worry, all that smarts disapears when they get to about thirty then to them you will be much wiser :applause: :applause: :applause: and it is there time to wonder when did Mom get so smart all of a suden.
I have been down that road twice. I'll Say a prayer for you.


But remember

Once a Parent always a Parent.
DAB



*laughs at what dad wrote* I didn't think he had already been down it twice. Sometimes I still think I'm smarter than them... but I know i'm not :) It took quite a few years to really want to look up to my father and my mother. but I look up to them not so much in how wise they are, but what they do and how they do it. I wished I could be like my mom. She works full-time, comes home, cleans house, then makes dinner, does the dishes... while I just go to school, come home, sit in my room and witness on the internet. My life is just a bunch of business *laughs at self*. I do practically nothing, while my parents don't charge me rent, pay for my gas, car insurance, and cell phone bill along with food. But I don't know if they know how much I appreciate that, especially after the divorce last year. They keep telling me to get a job, and I really am, but I give them the excuse that i'm too busy to work right now (which in a way I am with my outreach ministry, school, and volunteering with the church). But they take care of me... and I love them ever so much for it. Now I come to my dad for advice about things... especially on how to handle witnessing situations, the bible itself, and/or guy problems. lol

Jennie... they will grow up... and start thinking you are the wise women/mom that you are... sooner than you think. I was one of those teens... but it wasn't me who had to so much change on my own, I had to look to GOD before any changing could be done. I can very well say, its not me that did this... but GOD!! He's always in Control!

I will be praying for you. :) Love you sweetie!

Love,
Janice (DAB's Daughter)

CATCH AND EAT
05-22-2007, 10:33 AM
Let them fly Jen. I have a daughter that is 18 and strutting her independance. That's okay because the semi-real world his just about to run her over starting in September. Her life will drastically change as she heads off to Providence RI to JOhnson and Wales University. That will be a huge change for her and us of course and we will all grow up just a little bit more. It's a big world out there and I can still remember when I moved away from my parents the joy, the uncertainty, and the potential thrill ride I was about to experience. It is a complete rush when one flys the coop and momma hen has an empty nest.

Let them go Jen. Continue to pray for them and they will realize that you were/are a very smart cookie. Be praying for you Jen.

Troutinator
05-23-2007, 01:07 PM
I am still amazed how much my parents learned between the time I was 17 and 27.... they went from the most clueless dorks to my most admired people in 10 short years...

I sure am glad they finally wised up!

Hang in Jen... they WILL figure it out. We all do eventually.

Duckwheat
05-23-2007, 01:36 PM
I alway try to remind parents when I see teen patients that the experiences they (very similar to yours) are going through are just part of their normal psychological development.

It is part of their emancipation. In a way they are rejecting you along with your thoughts. Don't take it personal, it is just part of the grand plan. The grand plan being they move out and become independent, happy, and productive adults.

Take comfort your values are in there at a very early age. It is time to not sweat the little things and appreciate what they are going through.

Several people have mentioned that you will get a lot smarter when they are in their mid 20's. Most of that time it works out that way. Just make sure you don't interfere with their transition too much. That way you are friends when there 25, and they are not living in your basement at 30.

Duckwheat

SharkbaitHoHaHa
05-23-2007, 03:16 PM
I am posting again:

Just wanted to say that to not let them take advantge of you. When they are out of High School and still want to live at a parents home. Set some rules. They need a job to pay for gas, car insurance and other things that are needed. If the are going to go to (college) school while living at a parents home they should at least have a Part Time Job while they are living there. I have seen a lot of kids living with the parents long after High School and they go to College and Have a job.
I am glad my Dad had me get a Job. I wanted a job so that I could pay for things that I wanted in my own life. My Dad has helped me out sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo much from High School tell now and I know he will keep helping me. It might not be finacial but it can be advise or just a helping hand.
I now work at a wonderful place I love to work. I work with people with Disablities during the day at a day program. I have a wonderful son. A Wonderful husband that works very hard to make things work. It is all because my Parents showed me what I needed to do so that I could be out on my own. They did not pay for everything but they did help me out just enough to get me back on track.

Thank You Dad and Mom

Half fast Toyn
05-26-2007, 10:56 PM
The very worst thing as a child (yup, still my momma's child at 40) is/was to let my parents or grandparents down. I felt after my grandparents passed away, that I was one crutch less. I realized family is a buffer between you and a fairly cold world. My kids will probably lean me as I leaned on my parents. The closer you get to the top, the scarier it is as you run out of leaning posts, yet you yourself must be that strong oak for your kids. You know you grew em up right when the time comes for you to need someone, and your kids are there for you. FAMILY FIRST.

jokester
05-27-2007, 10:35 AM
I am still amazed how much my parents learned between the time I was 17 and 27.... they went from the most clueless dorks to my most admired people in 10 short years...

I sure am glad they finally wised up!

Hang in Jen... they WILL figure it out. We all do eventually.

I hear ya Troutinator...my parents learned a TON in that span of time also :grin:

It's funny how smart they got in just a short amount of time... :laugh:

-jokester

threetruck
05-27-2007, 03:00 PM
When I consider what my kids (20 & 22) do sometimes to my wife and I - the lack of appreciation and respect, I think back on how I was when I was around their age. And I shudder. And then I call my mom or dad and let them know they are appreciated and loved more than anything.

They will turn the corner. It's when they want to stay home and it looks like they'll want to be there forever that you really need to worry!!

Johnny gone fishing
05-28-2007, 08:03 AM
Me too.I have one thats 16 going on 20?????Love them now because soon they will be gone.

D-tangle
05-28-2007, 11:03 PM
We have three teens in the house right now. I know what you are going through, Jen.

I never thanked my parents until I was thirty years old.

I hold my kids with a loose grip, my wife holds the kids with a tight grip. Different techniques for different people. She is more easily hurt. I am more easily angered.

I have a sign near the refer:

"Teenagers! Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now! Move out. Get a job. Pay your bills while you still know everything."

My wife has a t-shirt that reads:

"Mothers with teenagers know why some animals eat their young"

We have to laugh 'cause God is using our kids to teach us to trust Him. :)