Technology for Country Folks

[Jerry]

>
> > LOG ON:
> > Making a wood stove hot
> >
> > LOG OFF:
> > Too much wood on fire
> >
> > MONITOR:
> > Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
> >
> > DOWN LOAD:
> > Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
> >
> > MEGA HERTZ:
> > When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
> >
> > FLOPPY DISC:
> > Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
> >
> > RAM:
> > That thar thang what splits the farwood
> >
> > HARD DRIVE:
> > Gitten home in the winter time
> >
> > WINDOWS:
> > Whut to shut when its cold outside
> >
> > SCREEN:
> > Whut to shut when its black fly season
> >
> > BYTE:
> > Whut dem dang flys do
> >
> > CHIP:
> > Munchies fer the TV
> >
> > MICRO CHIP:
> > Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
> >
> > MODEM:
> > Whatcha do to the hay fields
> >
> > DOT MATRIX:
> > Ole Dan Matrix's wife
> >
> > LAP TOP:
> > Whar the kitty sleeps
> >
> > KEYBOARD:
> > Whar you hang the dang truck keys
> >
> > SOFTWARE:
> > Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
> >
> > MOUSE:
> > What eats the grain in the barn
> >
> > MOUSE PAD:
> > That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
> >
> > MAINFRAME:
> > Holds up the barn roof
> >
> > PORT:
> > Fancy flatlander wine
> >
> > ENTER:
> > Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"
> >
> > CLICK:
> > Whut you hear when you cock yer gun
> >
> > DOUBLE CLICK:
> > When you cock the double barrel
> >
> > REBOOT:
> > Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the
> > outhouse