For my wife.....

[greenbuttskunk]

Well, I don't criuse this site often, although I've really enjoyed writing to cool texan to share
the infertility experience and what I've learned from it all. Hope to fish with you next week Jeff.
I'm writing because this matter has weighed heavy on my heart for along time, it's just now getting tougher. My wife flys out tommorrow to Maine to see her dad who dying of cancer. We spoke to the docs and he had maybe 2 months, if the latest chemo works. It's infected alot of his body including his lungs. Problem is my wife Meredith is almost 7 months pregnant, so this may
be the last time she sees him alive. For him to know he has an only grandchild on the way has been a blessing, and it's given him the will to fight the cancer I'm sure. I just can't imagin being in her shoes, to have to say goodbye to someone you love knowing it may be the last time.
We pray that he will live to see Wyatt born but with flying being a bad idea before and after, I fear he won't see the dream come true.
It breaks my heart to see her cry over this. Her dad is not even a nice person, so to know she is still making these attempts shows me what love is really about, unconditional. I'm so proud of her.
Anyay, if any of you can say a little something or keep them in your thoughts, I would appreciate it. Her dad's name is Charles.
Best regards,
Brad

[Cool Texan]

Brad, ironically I have been there. My father passed away almost 7 years ago from cancer. I was there to be by his side through his battle, and was there when he breathed his last breath. I can talk for hours about my recommendations for your wife, things to do no matter how hard, etc. Call me if you want... home is 503-282-9393, cell is 503-757-7141. I'll probably well up a bit when talking, so if you dont mind listening to that part, I can pass along advice. :smile:

Its not an easy thing that she is about to do...what is important is to talk to him, openly, about what he fears, what he feels, reliving memories, making sure that they BOTH know that the other loves them. Talk about the grandchild...names, middle names, nick-names...and more importantly (bet you havent thought of this yet), what will your child call him? Gramps? Grampy? WHo knows...what would HE want? Make him a part of this child even if he may never see him/her. She will be a wreck, trust me, but its better to be able to look back and realize that there was nothing left unsaid, no regrets.

I still miss my father dearly. However, I dont look back wishing I had said something, or asked him anything. That leaves me wide open to simply grieve and to miss the man in my life. Sadly, my wife's father died when she was 2, and my step-father died 2 years ago. So even when we do have kids, they wont have any grandfathers. :depressed:

I'll offer up prayers for your wife and hope that she is able to spend some quality time with her father.

[Grantspastor]

Brad...I'll pray for strength and comfort

[Kruechief]

Thank you Brad for reminding me what love really is...

"unconditional"!

I pray for comfort for your Charles and your wife.

YIC,

Loren

[DAB]

Brad,
I will pray for your wife and her Father, your post brings tears to my eyes
I used to hate my step Father so bad I tore up every picture I had of him, He passed away many years ago . I just realised not to long ago that He LOVED me, and how did I come to that , well' every where I go and almost every thing I do I like to have my wife at my side , I LOVE HER more than life it self. Almost every where my step dad went He made me go along almost every thing He did he made me do with Him,, And IF HE DID NOT LOVE ME WHY did he Want me WITH HIM ?? LOVE.. Now I don't even have one Picture to rember Him by.

Your post touched me very close to home. I will rember your Wife and Her Father in my prayers.
I hope this all made sence...
In Christ
DAB

[greenbuttskunk]

Cool Texan,
Thanks for the note. I'm terribly sorry to hear about the negative test result, but don't give up, ours was neg. first too. Just give that wife of your lots of hugs, I'm sure the comfort helps, and it's all you can do. Let's try to hit the willamette for springers this week after work and chat more.
you have my email so just send me a note.
Take care Jeff,
Brad

[greenbuttskunk]

DAB,
nice when you come to that kind of realization.
Good for you.
Thanks for the words.
GBS