Happy Mother's Day is right! Whoo hoooo!
Whether you are a Mom to a dog, a cat, a friend, a child of your own or a child that otherwise needs you in their life, Happy day to you! Thanks to you, and much appreciation for all that you do!
Take the day off! Enjoy the sunshine! Go to church! Go out to lunch! And then sit in the sun, or work in the garden, or whatever makes you happy-happy! Hug yourself, and know that you are appreciated!
Frankly, you'd think it was "Puppy Day" as Willie is expecting me to be with him, every second. Yeah, I know. I feed into that! And.... if I'm not there every second? By golly he is going to tear up the yard until he gets my attention!
I had a great day, yesterday. I felt good for the first time in what felt like ages, and man did I (over) do!
I went to Meldrum park for the first time, to see what it was all about. I took Willie on the way home from the puppy park in celebration of getting the corn planted, after I prepared the garden.
What a different style of fishing than I'm used to!
Frankly, I didn't like it a whole lot, but I guess for what it is, I can see that it would be fun. City fishing is just different. The boats on the Willamette were just thick out there! They trolled slowly while others were skiing and jet boats were racing, and swerving in and out. It was kind of chaos, everywhere!
I think I fish for peace, and I couldn't find it at Meldrum.
I parked next to some 20 some things that were fishing off the bank. They had a hiked up truck rig, backed up to the river bank. They had a bbq out, and their truck was blaring loud music. Next to them was another couple, drinking beer after beer and also fishing- and on and on down the line, they fished.
I asked the kids if they had caught anything.
"Nope, but yesterday almost everyone caught one!"
The old "Shoulda been here, yesterday..." I know that one well!
It kind of reminded me of the days I sturgeon fished off the Washington coast. The only difference is that we didn't play music, drink beer, or park so close together!
We'd sit in the rocks and eat sandwiches and watch the waves come in.
Meldrum park is more of a party atmosphere, like when I was in high school.
It reminded me of when we used to all hang out at what we called the logging bridge. It was on the Molalla river. Lots of revving engines and loud music. People barefoot, and having fun. Kind of a "Saturday at the park" feeling.
I'm too old for Meldrum, I think! I felt a little out of place.
Still, I was glad to know what it was all about. There are serious fishermen, there. I could feel the tension in some of them, as I walked by. I could sense that they took their quest very seriously! They'd sit and stare at their rod tips. "Any minute, now!" I remember that part, for sure! Fishing is fishing, after all!
I think that perhaps the party mood was brought on by the intense sunshine, and perhaps I'll try it again when it's raining and then, maybe I'd find more of what I'm used to.
The only thing remaining that would bug me is the garbage that is all over the place. People! Pick up after yourself and others! Take care of your river bank! It's yours, after all! (Man, do I ever sound like a "Mother"!)
Today, I am going to get dressed and go to church at a little church around the corner. Then, I'm going to try my hardest to do "nothing"! I'm not much good at that, but I'm going to try! I'm just going to sit on the chaise lounge in the sun!
Alright... I may plant something in my garden....
And take care of Ifish....
And bbq a roast...
And since it makes me happy to have a clean floor to feel under my bare feet, I may sweep and mop...
And it sounds fun to go to Macy's sale.... and after that, I think I'll take Willie for a walk, and feed the cat, and take out the garbage, and finish paying my bills...
But, I promise! I'm going to lay in the sun!
After all, we are Mothers and that's what we do!
What is it we do? Too much!
Happy Mother's Day!
Oh! And all you single parents out there? Remember that you get to have kudos on BOTH Mother's and Father's Day! So, have fun! It's one of the bennies! (There are a few!)

May 8, 2012

Sometimes when I come to the river, even though it is breath takingly beautiful, there is something just wrong. I sit on the porch and peer through a small opening where the border of the green foliage and trees part. Past those thousand colors of greens...
The river is mostly shaded, there, except for where one strong bolt of lightning-sun that strikes the tips of the rapids, creating the whitest of whites. My eyes widen and tear. One large rock, covered in bright green moss stands out. It, too, is lit up by the sun. The surrounding calm shallows are glowing, and you can see clear to the bottom where steelhead are lazing, Bucks, patiently waiting for hens to dig their redds.
Pure Beauty.
But, something... something is just wrong.
I'm having troubles, living in two houses. It takes an effort to adjust, each time. Sometimes it is a calm adjustment. Sometimes a sadness, a confusion, and sometimes, a thunderstorm of conflict.
Rarely is it easy.
Once, when I lived in Cannon Beach, I wrote a poem about how I didn't deserve the beauty that surrounded me, there. How I wasn't ready for it. My life was too busy to appreciate it, to deserve it. I had things to do, and that beauty like that should be reserved for those who had time, for retirement, perhaps. It really bothered me, that I couldn't stop to take it in.
That's how I felt, yesterday. I left Oregon City with too much undone business.
I try to get caught up and enjoy it, to match Bill's 20 years of life that he has on me. He deserves it. He has done his things, and he doesn't work.
Even though my work is mostly on the computer, for some reason, I just can't fully appreciate all that my eyes take in. I can't stop thinking long enough to breathe slowly enough.
When I wrote music for a living, looking at things like this was part of work, as it helped me to write.
I was watching a show last night that had a yoga class on it. I need to get back into that. I need to take a yoga class so that even when I'm not feeling caught up, or ready, I can more fully appreciate the beauty around me. I need to learn to breathe.
There is so much good "chi" here, on the river. My body needs it. Why can't I appreciate? Enjoy? Relax? Dangit!
When I can appreciate it, it feels so good! Is that because I'm otherwise caught up? Or, is it because I don't feel good about myself, that day? What?
That little window thru the trees that framed the sunlight on the river, it was too beautiful! Too much, though! Too much!
I shook my head, stood up, and headed for the computer. But-- I was a terror! Look out! Don't talk to Jennie! She's got things to do and people to see! She needs ugly traffic jams and horns honking and city, city, city!
But, today? Today.... I'm going fishing, and I'm going to see and appreciate and take in ALL that nature has to give me! I'm all caught up!

...Continued bottom of
May
April
Jennie's Fishing Life, Complete!
I love my life, and it's a pleasure to fish it.